Another day of classes has passed as we see team RWBY in their dorm getting ready to watch death Battle.
"Let's who's fighting who" Ruby said as she started the episode.
Interlude
(*Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates*)
Wiz: Surviving the undead apocalypse takes grit, perseverance, and an armies worth of firepower. With all that and some luck, these two became experts in zombie fighting.
"Zombie fighting huh, this ought to be good" Yang said
Boomstick: Leon Kennedy, the top cop and government agent in Resident Evil.
"he looks like he could be an atlas soldier" Weiss said.
Wiz: And Frank West, the backyard wrestling MacGyver of Dead Rising.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Leon S. Kennedy
(*Cues: Lay Down the Law*)
Wiz: As a child, Leon Scott Kennedy's father instilled in him a strong sense of justice. Following in his footsteps, Leon joined the police force, determined to uncover the darkest riddles and uphold the law.
"Just like us" Ruby said
Popup: Did you know George Romero (Dawn of the Dead) once directed a commercial for Leon's debut game, Resident Evil 2?
Boomstick: So, for his first-ever assignment, he took the biggest challenge he could find. Instead of picking an easy job, like dishing out dastardly parking tickets, he was off to Raccoon City to investigate a bunch of mysterious murders.
Wiz: His instincts were good, perhaps too good. Officer Kennedy wound up choosing the most challenging and dangerous assignment he possibly could have.
"More challenging than taking down Grimm" Yang said.
"Or the Whitefang" Blake said.
Boomstick: Yeah, turns out Trash Panda Town was due for a big ol' zombie outbreak, and Leon got stuck in the middle. How's that for hazing the rookie?
"Not bad" Yang said.
Wiz: He wasn't a rookie for long. After fending off the zombie threat, and even taking a bullet-
Boomstick: From the Grassy Knoll?
Wiz: Leon was recruited by the American government as a special agent, bodyguard and their go-to specialist for apocalyptic events.
"Cool" Ruby said.
Leon: In all cases, the people that are bitten become infected themselves and go on to attack others. The only way to stop the spread of infection is to destroy the infectees brain. Shoot them in the head.
Boomstick: His training at the police academy turned him into a pretty tough guy, but as a special agent, he became unstoppable.
Wiz: All thanks to his extensive firearms training, extreme driving tests and the study of tactical response scenarios.
Boomstick: Guess what martial art they teach American Secret Service members? A traitorous Russian one called Systema, and Leon is an expert at it.
Wiz: Systema is a free form martial art focusing on disabling targets via pressure points in joints. While not specifically lethal on its own, Systema also involves quite a lot of training with knives and firearms.
"Hmm that might be useful" Blake said thinking about learning that martial art.
Boomstick: That's good, 'cause I don't think fists would be enough to take on monsters like the Tyrants, skinless dogs and... is that Gene Simmons?
Popup: Tyrants are unique mutants which are tough enough to survive molten steel and strong enough to stop a moving tank.
"Oh man those things look worse than the Grimm" Weiss said
"Well they are zombies" Yang said.
Wiz: Right, these Bio Organic Weapons, or B.O.W.s, were far tougher than your ordinary run-of-the-mill zombie. Thankfully, Leon has the weaponry to take them on.
Boomstick: He's efficient with just about any kind of gun, but like me, he loves carrying around his favorites, including the Silver Ghost, a unique pistol specifically designed for him. He's also got a modified fifty caliber Desert Eagle Magnum, a gift from his father. Lucky bastard, all I ever got from my dad was a sore cheek.
"I got bumblebee for my birthday" Yang said.
"And I made Crescent rose for my birthday" Ruby said.
Wiz: While he has no problem dual-wielding handguns, Leon is extremely proficient in dealing damage with heavier weapons, such as the M203 Grenade Launcher or his ludicrous Rocket Launcher Special.
"Awesome!" Ruby said
Boomstick: This red-tipped wrecker of an RPG is far more powerful than an ordinary propelled grenade. The gun itself looks similar to a classic RPG 7 Model, first used as an anti-tank weapon used by the Soviet Union. Since the red grenade is so deadly, it's probably a thermobaric explosive booster, which can launch over six hundred feet for a sixty-foot wide explosion. That's more than enough to take down one of those bow-wows.
Wiz: Leon has plenty of experience with hand grenades, rifles, flamethrowers, etc., but one weapon stands above them all: his knife.
Popup: Leon's knife is so sharp and durable that it is able to cut through a padlock like butter.
"Woah" Ruby said
Boomstick: Oh yeah, Leon's combat knife is way more than some plain old bread cutter! He's practically magic when it comes to his skill with a knife, and if he gets hit, he'll be fine... probably. I mean, he's wearing lightweight level three tactical body armor, which can stop bullets from a magnum and even some rifles. If he does take a hit, he's carrying some healing herbs, which he can also take a hit from, if you know what I'm saying!
"Ugh really Boomstick" Weiss said
"Pretty sure those are just healing herbs" Blake said.
Popup: A standard level III ballistic core is one of the lightest and toughest steel core body armors in use today.
Wiz: He's not snorting drugs, Boomstick! Healing herbs have a history of being applied as an aerosol spray or ground up within paper.
Boomstick: Well, once Leon became the government's numero uno answer to all of their zombie problems, He was stopping outbreaks all over the world, he had to pull off some awesome feats to do it. He even had to make some horrible sacrifices along the way, like that poor, poor Ducati.
Wiz: Leon is strong enough to crush a skull, or even force open the jaws of a giant infected shark. This shark appears to be similar in size to a Great White, which has a bite strength of nearly two tons of force.
Popup: Surprisingly, sharks generally have a weak jaw when compared to other animal species. They rely more on their teeth than bite force.
Boomstick: That shit's crazy! And speaking of which, let's talk a little bit about Leon's relationship with boulders.
Wiz/RWBY: Relationship with what?
Boomstick: Boulders! You know, they're like, really big rocks. Think you would know that. Well, he fought Chris Redfield to a standstill, the famous boulder puncher himself! And while Leon doesn't seem to have Chris's brute strength, he did push over this giant rock with a little help.
Wiz: Leon is pretty quick too, he's dodged bullets, a moving laser grid, and even outraced this Tyrant, which, according to the Inside of Biohazard Guide, could run up to forty-three miles per hour.
Boomstick: He's even thrown his trusty knife fast enough that this creepy guy didn't even react until... Oh...
"Ohhhhhh man that's gotta hurt" Yang said wincing at the scene and the other girls did the same
Wiz: The average time for a person to perceive and react to movement is a quarter of a second. Leon appears to be about thirty feet away from his target Salazar here, meaning he threw his knife around eighty miles per hour.
Boomstick: The average speed for most world-class knife throwers is only thirty-five miles per hour, so he's more than double that.
"That's actually pretty impressive" Weiss said
Wiz: Leon is tough, having survived blows from various large and burly B.O.W.s. He even matched the strength of Umbrella Agent Jack Krauser. Krauser was strong enough to perform a thirty-foot vertical jump. Generally, men can pull off a two-foot vertical jump at most, making Krauser potentially fifteen times stronger than the average man.
Boomstick: At this point, let's just say that Leon is basically superhuman. It's like he has zero weaknesses!
"Yeah no kidding with all the stuff he does" Yang said
Wiz: Au contraire, Boomstick, Leon has his fair share of baggage. He's pretty gullible, oftentimes tricked by those wilier than himself.
Ada: Go... Save yourself...
Leon: Is it just me or does everybody always ignore what I say?
Boomstick: Like her? You think he just might be trying to get laid? Lord knows I've done a few dumb things on that quest. I don't know about his chances though, rockin' that hairdo.
"Yeah he might need a new do" Yang said
Wiz: But after more than fifteen years of nightmarish catastrophes, Leon's mental state has become more fragile, and more reliant on alcohol.
Boomstick: Ah, you and me both, pal! He always needs a little chaos in his life, and when it comes down to it, that's what makes him such a friggin' badass.
Leon: Better try a new trick, because that one's getting old.
Frank West
(*Cues: Bring The Fight)
Wiz: Upon first impression, Frank West seems to be just be your average journalist, but he's far more than that.
Boomstick: I'll say. He's covered wars, you know.
Wiz: As a photojournalist, Frank will regularly go far beyond the call of duty to uncover his next big scoop. It was this iron-clad determination which led him to a mall in the town of Willamette, Colorado, where he found... the zombie apocalypse.
"Of course he did" Weiss said
Frank: What? Did you just say "zombies"?
Boomstick: But Frank's down to rough up dozens of zombies every now and then, and with his wrestling history and battlefield experience, he's got the skills to do it.
Wiz: Despite never having fired a gun at another person before Willamette, Frank discovered he's a natural when it comes to firearms.
Boomstick: He's handy with all sorts of guns, like pistols, shotguns, machineguns and a beautiful minigun. Oh, I love it! He's even got a Silver Ghost, a unique pistol specifically designed for government agent Leon Ke-hey, hey, hey, wait a minute...
"Oh that's the same gun Leon has" Ruby said
Wiz: But, bullets can only last so long against a neverending zombie horde, so Frank was forced to improvise.
Boomstick: And thanks to being in a shopping mall, he had plenty of options.
"Like what?" Yang asked
"We're about to find out" Weiss sakd
Wiz: From obvious choices like sledgehammers, baseball bats and chainsaws, to out of the box picks like shampoo, lipstick, lawn mowers and a shopping cart, Frank has an uncanny ability to effectively weaponize pretty much anything he gets his hands on.
Boomstick: Garbage, toys, food, you name it! This guy does not overlook anything's death-dealing potential. He even uses his camera flash as a weapon!
"Woah cool!" Ruby said
"Man he's like a one man armory" Yang said
(*Cues: Rise of the Machine)
Wiz: His primary camera appears to be a Nikon D100, which has a flash color temperature of 6000 K, or crystal light. When used up close, it's nearly as effective on the eyes as a flash-bang grenade.
"That is highly effective" Weiss said
Boomstick: Anyway, Frank survived the zombie horde with flying colors, his next step was obvious: Profit from it!
Wiz: He became famous overnight. He was named the "Hero of Willamette", hosted a TV show, and scored all sorts of endorsements.
Boomstick: His love of using baseball bats to smash zombie skulls in even landed him a great commercial deal with Deadwood Pro Baseball. Damn, so he's making tons of money off of killing people! My dream.
"Wish we could do that with Grimm" Yang said
Popup: He's also endorsed a clothing line, cologne, and a "made for TV" mop.
Wiz: I know, right? All these zombies were technically people once, so when you really think about it, this whole situation is pretty-
"Horrifying?" Weiss said
Boomstick: Freaking awesome! Ah, living the dream, buddy. You earned it.
Wiz: Uh huh... Anyway, fame is a fickle mistress, and it wasn't long until Frank's fifteen minutes of fame were cut short. He eventually became a college teacher, but not before several more encounters with the undead kind.
Boomstick: And the more he fought 'em, the more creative he got about it!
Wiz: Frank's greatest asset is his impressive ingenuity. With nothing but his blood, sweat, and tears-
Boomstick: -And a shit load of duct tape!
Wiz: Frank perfected the art of combination weapons.
Boomstick: Like the Paddle Saw, where he took a Kayak paddle and strapped on a couple chainsaws for a rip-roaring good time.
Wiz: The Electric Crusher is an invention combining the power of a car battery with a weight of a sledgehammer, crafting a Mjolnir for mortals.
Boomstick: The Blitzkreig is a freaking wheelchair, powered by a car battery, firing machine guns all over the place! Stephen Hawking could have even beat Death with that!
Wiz: He can make a laser sword by sticking a gem into a flashlight. Don't ask me how.
"I wonder if I can do that with a dust crystal, Hey Weiss" Ruby asked before Weiss said "No Ruby, your not doing that..." Weiss said before adding "Without me" Weiss said making Ruby smile that she was not the only interested.
Boomstick: And the Reaper is the unholy union of sickle and samurai sword. Wow! And all that is just scratching the surface! He's even got combo vehicles, like the Exo Suit!
Wiz: That's a suit made of Slurpee machines.
Boomstick: Which shoots ice tornadoes! Talk about cool, pun intended!
"Ha!" Yang said.
" for someone who's not a huntsman he's definitely resorsefull" Weiss said.
Wiz: Even stranger, Frank has used an arcade machine to miraculously copy some of the powers of fellow Capcom characters
Boomstick: You're a wizard, Franky!
Wiz: No, he's not magic, these powers come directly from costumes most commonly obtained from the machine. For example, he can don Ryu's gi to perform Hurricane Kicks or Mega Man X's armor, complete with a Mega Buster.
Boomstick: You are what you wear. Speaking of costume changes, sadly, Frank eventually was caught by zombies and wound up becoming another mindless slave of the undead horde. But it's okay, he got better!
"That's a relief" Blake said
Popup: As a zombie, Frank gained enhanced strength, immunity to pain, and an acid spit!
Wiz: Frank has pulled off a lot of impressive feats, despite having little formal training aside from maybe a three-day combat journalist crash course. He's killed hundreds, maybe thousands of zombies, giving him one of the highest body counts in video game history.
Popup: Frank was cured by a machine in Barnaby's lab, which completely removed his zombie infection. He lost all his zombie abilities, and cannot call upon them anymore.
Boomstick: He's really strong, too! He can pull a zombie's limbs and head off, no problem, and in the exo-suit, he's pushed around a two-ton car!
Wiz: He's tough enough to survive long falls and devastating helicopter crashes with little issues, and he's quick enough to catch up to and board a train moving fifteen miles per hour in less than three seconds. He can even hop off zombies heads like a ninja so well that the zombies barely even notice.
Boomstick: Wait, they don't notice that he's literally jumping off their heads? How the hell does he pull that off?!
"By being very careful" Weiss said.
Wiz: Very carefully, but Frank has fought more than just mindless zombies.
Boomstick: Yeah, like some crazy clowns with chainsaws and a freeze gun, and plenty of other psycho maniacs,
Steven: THIS IS MY STOOOORE!
RWBY recoiled back in surprise when they saw this.
"Okay that guy is..." Yang started and Weiss finished it by saying "... Completely crazy" Weiss said as Yang said "Yeah".
Boomstick: Including Lance Corporal Calder, the world's first intelligent soldier zombie.
Wiz: Also, I think it's important to note many of these feats were performed in the span of seventy-two hours, with no sleep or rest. According to a study on sleep deprivation in 2010, an average human's physical and mental health begins to severely deteriorate after thirty-six hours of no sleep, resulting in disorientation and even hallucinations.
"Why does that familiar" Yang said as she looked at Blake who looked away realizing it was like with her.
Boomstick: And here I thought heavy drinking was the only way to legally hallucinate! Well, time to binge Netflix until I trip balls!
Wiz: Whether by inhuman stamina or just a shit ton of adrenaline, Frank was in peak condition for twice as long as he should have been.
Boomstick: There's that journalist determination again! Sure, he may be a bit of a self-serving asshole, but he's pulled off the impossible more than once, even when he got into his fifties!
Wiz: Once a survivor, always a survivor.
Frank: Snag your very own disposable Digi-Cheap disposable camera! It's faaaaaannn...tastic!
Director: Cut!
Frank: I mean it. Seriously. I need a raise.
Death Battle
(*Cues: Resident Rising - Therewolf Media*)
A zombie outbreak has affected a now-abandoned city. A radio announcer is giving updates on the situation.
Radio Broadcaster: With evacuation complete, state officials are prioritizing outbreak containment. Yet there are still reports of looters within the city. Who knows what these people think is worth braving certain doom to get?
Frank breaks open a store window, making off with various supplies.
Frank: Sweet! Just what I was looking for!
He dumps the items in a shopping cart before Leon interrupts him.
Leon: What are you doing? No one's supposed to be here.
Frank: Never stopped me before, pal!
"Oh this is gonna be good" Yang said
FIGHT!
Frank takes a bottle out of the cart and hurls it at Leon, who shoots it. Frank then rams the shopping cart full of supplies into Leon, disarming him. He then jumps and does a cartwheel over the cart while pulling a bat out of the items. Leon charges forward, but Frank knocks him back with the baseball bat.
Frank: Batter up!
Frank then takes several swings at Leon, who dodges or blocks most hits and slices the bat in half with his knife. Frank uses the opportunity to stun Leon with the bat. Leon staggers back, and Frank charges in, blinding Leon with the flash from his camera.
Frank: See you in a flash, buddy! Ha ha ha!
"Ugh why" Ruby said as the other two groaned in dispare except Yang who laughed at that.
Frank slams Leon down onto the ground and kicks him into a few arcade machines, starting them up. The noise of the arcade machines attracts nearby zombies.
Leon: Ah shit!
The zombies then break down the iron fence, and begin stumbling towards the two. Frank stops charging his shopping basket forward and starts digging through it as Leon starts mowing down the undead with his assault rifle. Frank knocks back all the incoming zombies by creating the Electric Crusher before attempting to pierce Leon, who barely dodges it.
Frank tries swinging the Crusher at Leon again, but Leon avoids it and kicks Frank as he gets one of his shotguns. Frank knocks the gun upwards and Leon kicks him before he can do anything else and catches the gun. The two take down the incoming zombies while continuing to try and harm and dodge each other as Leon swipes with his knife and shoots his shotgun while Frank keeps relying on the Crusher. The two stop as Leon aims his shotgun at his opponent.
"They seem evenly matched" Weiss said.
Leon: Give it up man! You can't keep up with me.
Frank: Wanna bet? I've covered wars ya know!
Leon shoots the Crusher out of Frank's hand. Frank retreats and leaps on top of his cart to escape.
Leon: That's nice, but...
Leon charges forward as Frank tosses a scythe attached to a boomerang at him, which Leon slices in half.
Leon: ...I've fought in them.
Frank leaps toward a Capcom arcade and sees an arcade cabinet on the outside. He scrolls through costumes and selects Mega Man X's outfit.
Frank: Lucky me!
Leon arrives in front of the arcade and tosses a grenade as Frank charges and launches the X-Buster. The projectile mows down a couple of zombies as Leon tosses an undead walker at the projectile to shield himself. The explosion from the shot still has intense knockback that sends him backwards. Meanwhile, Leon's grenade lands right next to Frank. West covers it by knocking a zombie back and taking its Servbot helmet, but the explosion still sends him crashing into the store.
Leon has a rough landing from the X-Buster and holds his wound as he limps towards the arcade. Frank launches an ice projectile at his opponent that Leon narrowly dodges. Frank leaps outside now armed with the Exo-Suit.
Frank: Ice to meet you! Why don't you chill out?
"Really? His puns are as bad as Yang's puns" Weiss said
"Hey!" Yang said
Frank starts shooting more ice projectiles at the cop as Leon starts rushing towards his motorcycle and rocket launcher. Frank jumps forward and slams his fists down to unleash the ice tornado. Leon grabs his rocket launcher and readies his shot.
Leon: Here we go! Huh!?
Leon is shocked to be facing down a tornado. He loses his footing and is sucked into the cyclone. Frank starts laughing and celebrating while witnessing his opponent struggle.
Frank: It was ice fighting with ya buddy!
"Make it stop" Blake said
Leon watches as one of the zombies sucked in Frank's tornado freezes within seconds. Leon's feet become frozen, but he grabs one of the flying frozen zombies to escape the eye of the storm. After shattering the ice with his feet, he launches a rocket downward.
Leon: Game over!
A dejected Frank looks down as he sees the rocket approaching.
Frank: Aw sh-
Frank is blown apart by the rocket as Leon lands on the ground.
KO!
Frank's now zombified detached head is still breathing as Leon contacts his superior via walkie talkie. Leon turns around and tosses his knife at the journalist's head, causing it to cease breathing.
Results
(*Cues Resident Rising again*)
Boomstick: Something tells me Frank won't be coming back from the dead this time!
Popup: Since Frank was entirely cured of his zombie state, his death could not result in a second zombification unless he were to get infected again.
"Oh that makes sense" Ruby said
Wiz: Frank's cheeky strategies and endlessly creative arsenal certainly put up a good fight, but in the end, Leon just had him beat in nearly every other category.
Boomstick: Frank was one tough cookie, but Leon's superhuman abilities were just more impressive. Frank's pushed a two-ton car, right?
Wiz: Yes, which is similar to Leon holding back the shark's two-ton biting force, but his boulder feat was much more impressive. By comparing the boulder's size to Leon, it appears to have weighed around nine tons at minimum. While Leon did have help pushing it, even half of nine tons is much heavier than anything Frank's lifted or pushed.
"Which shows Leon is stronger than Frank" Weiss said
Popup: Half of nine tons is 4.5, where as Frank's best strength feat amounts to less than three tons.
Boomstick: Leon and Frank seemed equally tough, but Leon was definitely quicker. Bullet timing, laser dodging, and hell, Leon's speed and precision with his knife on its own is more impressive than any speed feat Frank's got.
Popup: Creativity aside, Leon's weaponry is generally deadlier than Frank's.
"That's also true" Ruby said
Wiz: But in the end, the most important question was whether or not Leon could cope with Frank's insane weaponry and unpredictable creativity.
Boomstick: But Leon's seen plenty of crazy shit in his career, and fought lots of surprising and off-putting monsters.
Wiz: His years of formal training and more consistent combat record certainly lent him the experience needed to win. He's survived numerous battles with enemies powerful enough to one-shot him, and he's shown plenty of creative strategy and critical thinking mid-fight.
Boomstick: Like when he fought Tyrant Glenn, using momentum from his own injuries and throwing a freaking motorcycle through the air! Leon was just too fast, too strong, too experienced, and too badass. He was Frank-Leon his game.
Yang laughed at the pun while the others groaned at it.
Wiz: The winner is Leon Kennedy.