"So what's the next Deathbattle were watching tonight?" Yang said
"Apperently it's another batman vs Spider-Man battle" Weiss
"And its said to take place in the future" Blake said
"Awesome let's watch it!" Ruby said as she started the episode
Interlude
(Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston)
Wiz: The future. Everyone wants to see it, and why not? It has robots, flying cars, and of course, superheroes.
"The awesome kind of heros" Yang said
Boomstick: Yeah, the future still has those, but they're even cooler cause of all the sweet gadgets.
Wiz: Like Terry McGinnis, the Batman Beyond.
"So he's the next generation Batman" Weiss
Boomstick: And Miguel O’Hara, the Spider-Man from 2099. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
"That suit does look amazing" Blake said
"Batman beyond or the future Spider-Man?" Yang said
"Both of them" Blake said
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Batman Beyond
(*Cues: Heavy Rain - Blade*)
Wiz: Terry McGinnis was your average futuristic high school student.
"Just like us" Ruby said
Boomstick: He went to future raves, complained about future problems, had a future girlfriend, eh, you know, the usual!
Popup: Self proclaimed "Bad Kid" who joined a street gang as a teen and attended JUV for three months.
"What's JUV?" Weiss said
Wiz: Until one fateful day, when Terry got into a fight with a group of Jokerz.
"Jokerz?" Ruby said
Boomstick/Yang: What's he got against comedians?
"I'm pretty sure he's not talking about comedians" Weiss sais
Wiz: No no, a GANG called the Jokerz, you know, like THE Joker?
"Oh THAT joker" Ruby said getting it
Boomstick/Yang: Ah, but with a Z, cause it's the future.
Wiz: Well naturally. After possibly the most dangerous motorcycle chase ever put on television...
Boomstick: Nah, it's cool, he's got a helmet.
"Oh that's a relief" Yang said
Wiz: Terry found himself inside an isolated mansion owned by an elderly billionaire named Bruce Wayne. Here, he stumbled upon the most important revelation in his life.
"Lemme guess he found Batman is Bruce Wayne" Weiss said with sarcasm
Boomstick: Bruce Wayne is Batman! (sarcastic) Oh, what a surprise! Well, more like, he WAS Batman. He retired from crime fighting years ago cause, you know, age is a bitch.
"Oh like with uncle qrow" Ruby said
Popup: Retired after he was forced to use a gun to survive a criminal encounter.
"Oh I guess that could be the reason since Batman never used a gun before" Blake said
Wiz: Wait a minute, after decades of secrecy, a punk teenager just happens to stumble into the Batcave? For crying out loud, if he'd found my secret lair, he'd have been vaporized on the spot.
"Wait what?" RWBY said
Boomstick: Yeah...anyway, Terry's rollercoaster of a day still wasn't over, turns out, his dad got murdered.
"Oh man that sucks" Yang said with sympathy while the other held their head down and some tears fell
Terry: Dad? (he runs into the room) DAD!
Boomstick: Bummer, so he did what any emotionally charged teen who wants to avenge their dad would do, he stole a Batsuit.
"Just like batman sorta" Yang said
Wiz: But not the old cape and cowl of yesteryear, this was the latest and most advanced Batsuit. Terry McGinnis didn't just become the all new Batman, he was Batman Beyond.
"I guess this batsuit must be more...up to date" Weiss saod
Boomstick: You ever wonder what would happen if Batman got hold of an Iron Man suit? It's basically that, and damn, he looks friggin rad!
"I'll say it looks so awesome! I want one" Ruby said
"The suit does look pretty good" Blake said
Wiz: The Batsuit's nanotechnology greatly enhances his strength, and provides several thin yet strong layers of ballistic and environmental protection.
"Man that's an advance suit" Yang said
Boomstick: And he can fly! He can soar faster than a speeding future car, and he's really nimble in the air, plus he can always give his punches and kicks a literal rocket boost.
"Awesome!" Ruby said
Popup: Many features were added in response to problematic events. For example, the breather was added after an incident when Terry nearly drowned.
Wiz: The suit sports over two dozen other gadgets for combat and espionage, he has a wrist mounted grappling hook that can extend over fifty feet, there's a cloaking device, a lock decoder, finger microphones, climbing claws, an underwater breather, thermal and binocular vision, extendable spikes on his arms, flash bang grenades, triple weighted bolas, a buzz saw, and even retractable tweezers.
"Man that suit is like a all in one weapon" Ruby said
"What use would the tweezers be used for?" Weiss said
"Splitters duh" Yang said
Boomstick: Splinters are no laughing matter, and don't forget all those sweet, sweet Batarangs. These new age ninja stars are even sharper and more compact than before, and they come in a variety of delightful flavors, like explosive, ensnaring, and electrifying. Terry's got a solid throwing arm, and can even disarm multiple opponents with a single shot, but if he's feeling a bit lazy, he can always just use his arm launchers to fire batarang disks.
"That would be pretty useful" Yang said
Wiz: Also, when anyone gets in too close, the whole suit can act like a man sized tazer. The electric shock is strong enough to stun people spliced with animal DNA, and short out heavy machinery.
"Man that's advance than anything atlas has" Weiss said
Boomstick: But the tools don't make the man, er, Batman, Terry's a master martial artist, with plenty of training from legends like former Robin, Dick Grayson, totally real ninja Kairi Tanaga, and the former Dark Knight himself, once he got over the kid stealing his suit, of course.
Wiz: Bruce Wayne doesn't just serve as Terry's mentor, he's also a constant source of advice and information on the go through his direct link to the batsuit from the batcave.
"That's pretty useful" Blake's said
Boomstick: Good thing, too, since Terry's not exactly the world's greatest detective, at least, not compared to the old man.
"Yeah it would make sense considering it take years to be skilled as the original Batman" Yang said
Wiz: Bruce is extremely intelligent and an expert analyst, plus, the batcave has some very impressive technology, not only does it host one of the most powerful supercomputers on the planet, it's also completely dependent on it's own hydroelectric power supply and isolated network.
"Woah" Rwby said
Boomstick: Still, I don't care who Bruce used to be, having an old guy barking orders in your ear sounds annoying, like your dad's always looking over your shoulder, or at least, I imagine, cause I didn't have one.
"Ouch" Yang aaid
Wiz: Well, Terry is Bruce Wayne's secret son.
Boomstick:/RWBY WHAAA?!
"What a twist!" Yang said
"I didn't that see that coming!" Ruby said
Wiz: In an effort to ensure there would always be a Batman, government boogie-woman Amanda Waller had secretly overwritten Warren McGinnis' reproductive DNA with that of Bruce Wayne's.
"Is that even possible?" Yang said
"Maybe it depends on the dna" Weiss said
Boomstick: So, like he was just blastin' Wayne babies? It's like all the fun, but you could get out of any child support case, and bonus, I guess Terry's father technically wasn't murdered, good for him. Also, he's got all the benefits from Bruce's kickass genes.
(Cues: *Unknown*)
Wiz: Even before going through combat training, Terry was a skilled fighter, strong enough to send opponents flying with a single punch.
Boomstick: In the suit, he's strong enough to lift large I-beams and this giant boulder.
"awesome!" Ruby said
Wiz: He's even survived getting his leg trapped under Bruce Wayne's trophy penny.
Boomstick/Yang: What's so special about a penny?
Wiz/Weiss: Just look at it.
Boomstick/Ruby: Holy colossal currency, Batman!
Popup: Throughout DC history, the giant penny has constantly been dated either 1945 or 1947.
Wiz: The penny's diameter is easily twenty feet wide, and is frequently dated from the 1940's, this means the penny is likely composed of bronze, and weighs around 166 tons.
Popup: Pennies were composed of bronze from 1864 to 1962.
"That makes sense" Weiss said
Boomstick: That's more than enough to crush all the bones in your foot, but not Terry, he was up and at'em like nothing happened, I mean, this guy's tough enough to take a missile to the face and then fall hundreds of stories, and all he got out of it was a couple broken ribs. What's a penny as heavy as thirty three monster trucks gonna do?
"Just be there and be awesome" Yang said
Wiz: He's quick enough to dodge gunfire, skilled enough to defeat lizard people and the Justice Lords. In a newer suit, he could fire concussive pulse blasts and even outraced an intercontinental missile, which can reach speeds of up to 15,000 miles per hour, that's over nineteen times the speed of sound.
Popup: The "new" batsuit was a prototype programmed to prioritize victory at any cost. This was dangerous in practice, but Terry eventually overcame it.
Boomstick: He's still no Bruce Wayne, though, he's kind of a punk and doesn't have the amazing smarts or expertise of Batman classic.
Waller: (To Terry) You don't quite have his magnificent brain, for instance. You do have his heart, though.
Wiz: Maybe not, but he has accomplished feats equal to his predecessor, like fighting Superman and ending the Joker threat once and for all. Clearly, Terry McGinnis has more than earned the title of Batman.
"Yep" Yang aaid
Mr.Fixx: You're pretty strong, for some clown who thinks he's Batman.
Terry: I am Batman!
Terry proceeds to pummel Mr. Fixx.
Spider-Man 2099
Boomstick: So, here's an unfortunate spoiler, the year 2099 kinda sucks.
"What but it's the future how bad can it be?" Yang said
Wiz: Plagued by a massive civil war between humans and mutants, the world fell into a dystopian ruin of violence and anarchy. The Heroic Age had come to an end.
"Oh that bad" Yang said
Popup: Ordinary humans were responsible for the war, not the mutants. Don't blame Magneto!
"Makes sense. Oh uh no offense you guys" Blake said
"Non taken" RWY said
Boomstick: But some people still wanted a sequel.
"Like me" Yang said
Wiz: Enter Miguel O'Hara, a child prodigy turned super genius with a penchant for genetic tinkering .
Boomstick: Miguel's skills landed him a job at one of the biggest companies in the world, Alchemax, where he got to work trying to rebuild one of the greatest heroes of all time, Spider-Man.
"Awesome. But how would he do ?" Ruby said
Wiz: Specifically, he attempted to replicate the DNA of Peter Parker, the original Spider-Man, but like most of the twenty first century's superheroes, not much remained of Parker outside of stories and legend, Miguel had to build his experiment from scratch, starting with a single, simple spider.
"Oh the same spider that bit peter" Yang said
Boomstick: Unfortunately, Alchemax didn't have the greatest job security, after a lot of bad blood and some spilled blood, Miguel wound up accidentally getting a dose of his own creepy crawly project.
Wiz: Transforming him into the Spider-Man of 2099.
Boomstick: But future Spider-Man isn't quite the same as your grand-pappy's Spidey.
"So what's different about this Spider-Man" Weiss said
Wiz: That's right, apart from the superhuman strength, speed, durability and improved healing, Miguel's powers are entirely different. Unlike Parker, he can't actually stick to any surface, he can still wall crawl though, using retractable talons on his fingers and toes, which also make for fairly deadly weapons in a fight.
Popup: These talons can easily slice through most metal materials.
"Woah okay that's actually pretty awesome" Yang said
"That doesn't make sense talons come from birds shouldnt he have claws or something?" Weiss said
"Weiss it's a cartoon just roll with it" Ruby said
Boomstick: And he's got fangs like a vampire! If he bites you, he can inject a venom that can paralyze your whole body almost instantly. Also, he may not have Petey's trusty spider sense, but his sense of sight, smell, and hearing are super fine, he can hear noises from miles away, see in the dark, and make out far off and fast moving objects with ease.
"Woah That's so awesome!" Yang said
Wiz: In fact, his senses are so acute, he wears tinted glasses to keep daylight from hurting his eyes.
Boomstick: And like any Spider-Man, he can shoot webs from his hands.
"Yep" Blake said
Wiz: Miguel doesn't need compact web shooter devices on his wrists, he actually has organic spinnerets in his arms which create and release thick, durable strings of webbing. Because they're natural, these strings are chemically identical to spider silk, with a tensile strength similar to steel.
"So he has spinerets attached to his wrists?" Weiss said
"Gross" Ruby said
Popup: Spider silk is technically stronger than steel on a per weight basis.
Boomstick: Eww! Okay, the original Spider-Man always kinda grossed me out, but this guys powers are disgusting.
"Agreed" Yang said
Wiz: I think Miguel would agree with you.
Boomstick: Well yeah, one day he's just your average dweeb doing sciencey stuff like you, and the next, he's got big lumps in his arms which shoot sticky stuff? Who wouldn't be weirded out?
"Everyone" Blake said
Wiz: Miguel saw his newfound power as a curse, a blight which turned him into an inhuman freak of nature.
"I could relate" Blake said with sadness but her teammates pulled her in a resureing hug to comfort her
Boomstick: But that didn't stop him from fighting crime, complete with his own Spidey suit.
Wiz: His original costume was made from unstable molecules, allowing the use of his talons without tearing the fabric, he also wears a web like cape made of Light Byte which lets him glide through the air.
"That suit does look impressive" Blake daid
Boomstick/Yang: Whoa! Lite Brite! I remember that! Man, do they still have that in the future? And did they find a way to stop you losing those little pegs?
"I always loved those as a kid" Yang said
Wiz/Weiss: Light Byte!
"Oh please it's the same thing" Yang said
Boomstick: Eh, whatever, the suit looks pretty cool, so I hate to spoil the mood, but it's actually just a run of the mill costume from a Day of the Dead festival. No, really.
"He made his costume from a holiday celebration outfit...makes sense" Ruby said
"You have to start somewhere" Yang said
Wiz: Though, after meeting the present day Peter Parker, Miguel received a much needed upgrade, his new suit contains synthesized unstable molecule fabric mixed with Kevlar, greatly improving his defense.
Boomstick: This suit can survive a shot from a Howitzer artillery cannon, a common M7-77 military Howitzer fires 92 pound shells at 2,200 feet per second, that hits with over 100 tons of force.
"Woah That's so cool" Ruby said
Wiz: Miguel's even taken a hit from the Thing, a hit which shattered a tempered glass window and sent Miguel flying over two dozen feet.
Boomstick: And the new suit has explosives, hologram projectors, infrared scanning, and its even got wings, and rocket boosters on the feet. Wait, that sounds familiar.
"That almost sounds like batman beyond's suit" Yang said
Wiz: Miguel may be a genius, but he's at his best when he's working with his holographic assistant, LYla, or the LYrate Lifeform Approximation.
Boomstick: She's basically like the future Alexa with a bunch of extra features, she keeps track of Miguel's life signs and surroundings, with LYla's scanners and his super senses, anyone would have a hard time trying to sneak up on future Spidey.
"Woah" Ruby said
Wiz: While LYla was originally built as a home appliance, she can be stored on Miguel's portable communicator. She can act as an onboard lie detector, and do advanced calculations to the twentieth decimal in a millisecond, which is flippin' amazing!
"That's impressive" Blake said
Boomstick: Fun fact, LYla's appearance was based on Marilyn Monroe, (growls lecherously).
"Ugh Boomstick you perv" Weiss said
Wiz: Not that anybody in 2099 seems to know who Marilyn Monroe was. Okay, seriously, how did they lose so much information in less than a hundred years? Remember kids, always back up your files, it'll prevent the apocalypse.
"We will" RWBY said
Boomstick: Well, lucky for them, Miguel got over his emo phase and stated setting the future back on track, and he had the skills to do it
"Awesome" Yang said.
Wiz: He's quick enough to dodge gunfire, tough enough to take a shotgun blast to the chest, resilient enough to take electric shocks, and strong enough to rip a twenty ton turret off a tank.
Popup: On average, a bullet travels about 1,700 miles per hour.
Boomstick: More than that, he helped another Spider-Man keep this giant building piece in place. What even is that?
Wiz: Likely some sort of antenna, but it also resembles the mooring mast atop the Empire State Building.
Boomstick: Back when everybody thought zeppelins were the hot new thing, because who doesn't like riding a giant flammable balloon full of explosive gas, sign me up!
Wiz: Assuming it's composed of steel, and roughly estimating its size compared to the Spider-Men on the roof, then comparing the Empire State Building's mooring mast, this should weigh, at most, two hundred tons.
Boomstick: So basically, Miguel's a badass, and he proved it in the most epic way possible. After rebuilding the world with Captain America, Miguel inherited the most legendary weapon of them all, Mjolnir.
"Okay now that's awesome!" Ruby said
Popup: There are at least two Mjolnir hammers in Miguel's world. One was a fake held by a wannabe Thor. The one Miguel received was the real deal.
"Okay that makes sense" Weiss said
Wiz: Although, Thor's hammer didn't actually grant him its warrior powers. Miguel didn't use it as a weapon, but as proof of his authority, a literal symbol of the societal weight he alone could carry. With his dominance asserted, Miguel created the utopian future a person could only dream of.
Popup: Due to time travel and time stream glitches, this long term history has likely been altered.
Boomstick: And you thought Peter Parker was cool, this Spider-Man is at the top.
Mademe web: Miguel O'Hara, Spider-Man of the year 2099.
Miguel: That's me, ready to save the universe, and lookin' good while doing it.
"Just like me" Weiss said
"And me" Yang said
Death Battle
(*Cues Beyond 2099 - Wherewolf Therewolf)
In the futuristic Gotham, Batman Beyond stands on a mounted gargoyle attached to a tall building while keeping a lookout in the city. He listens to Bruce Wayne via intercom.
Bruce: McGinnis! Keep an eye out. I've been seeing some odd reports regarding this part of the city.
Suddenly, a large webline attaches to the gargoyle to Terry's surprise. Spider-Man 2099 swings by and accidentally breaks the gargoyle Batman was standing on. Terry quickly activates his jet boosters to catch up to his web swinging foe.
Batman: Hey bozo, I was brooding there!
"Really? He gets mad about that?" Yang said
Spider-Man: Who the shock are you?
Miguel swings high in the air after launching from a traffic light with Terry tailing him.
FIGHT!
Batman tries flying right into Spider-Man, but the wallcrawler swings around a pole and kicks him forward. Terry leaps off a building to glide into Miguel again, but Spider-Man shoots webbing at the futuristic Batman and swings around the hero to kick him downwards. Terry intercepts the kick and throws Miguel down. Spider-Man web swings to another building with Batman in pursuit.
"Oh it's about to get good" Ruby saod
Spider-Man attaches himself to the building as Batman launches 4 batarangs at him. He leaps forward and webs the four batarangs together before throwing them right back at Batman.
Spider-Man: Right back at ya Batty!
Batman is hit by all of his batarangs and falls on a nearby building. Spider-Man attaches himself to a different structure and activates his A.I. Lyla.
Spider-Man: Hey Lyla, give me a reading on this vampire guy, yeah?
Lyla: Of course, Miguel.
Batman gets back up and flies towards Spider-Man to punch him.
Lyla: I can't identify his tech or fighting style, but I can try hacking his suit.
"That could work" Weiss said
Spider-Man blocks Batman's punch, kicks him twice, and then uses his webs to kick Terry at multiple angles.
Bruce: He's too comfortable in the air! Try a different approach.
Terry avoids Miguel's next kick.
Bruce: Get to ground level.
Batman manages to tie Spider-Man with a bola.
Spider-Man: Rgh! I can't move!
"Cause your tied up" Yang said
Batman punches Spider-Man off the building just as Miguel breaks the bola. As the two fall to the ground, Miguel tries web kicking Terry again, but the Batman throws him into the building and kicks him to the ground using his jet boosters. Spider-Man crashes into a car and stumbles onto the street.
"Oh that's gotta leave a mark" Ruby said wincing at the sight
Spider-Man: Damn, that hurt!
Batman lands on the ground to confront his opponent. Meanwhile, in the Batcave, the older Bruce manages to hold back Lyla hacking the system.
Bruce: Something's trying to hack your suit. Our new friend, no doubt.
Spider-Man: How's the hack going?
Lyla: *Sigh* Nowhere fast...
Bruce: Get in close and finish this quick!
Batman: No prob!
Batman starts running forward. Spider-Man leaps over the car he crashed into and starts charging his opponent.
Spider-Man: Can my fangs pierce his suit?
Lyla: I think so.
Spider-Man prepares his claws as he continues running forward.
Spider-Man: Then I'll finish this myself!
As the two are about to collide, Batman throws a flash grenade on the ground, blinding Spider-Man due to his severe light sensitivity. Terry delivers one, final combo on his opponent and leaps away as he's attached three explosive batarangs to Miguel's chest. After regaining his senses, Miguel struggles to get the batarangs off.
Spider-Man: Lyla!? LYLA!
The explosives tear a hole in Spider-Man 2099's chest, killing him instantly.
"Oh man brutality" Yang said
Batman: Aaand problem solved.
Bruce: I guess that's one way to do it...
Batman Beyond flies off into the night.
KO!
Results
(*Cues: Beyond 2099 - Wherewolf Therewolf again*)
Boomstick: Ah, I'll never get tired of seeing people blow up. It's always such a blast!
"Ha" Yang said while the others groaned
Wiz: Thanks to Bruce's counsel, Terry used his flash bang to take advantage of Miguel's sensitive eyesight, and his electric shot that can short out machinery to deal with Lyla.
"Well with enhanced senses there are some downsides with it" Weiss said
Boomstick: Yeah, unlike Bruce, the poor girl wasn't really built for combat. And while her hacking skills were top notch, the isolated Batcave had the defenses to hold her off.
"Yep" Yang said
Popup: The Batsuit and Batcave have successfully repelled hacking attempts from the likes of Brainiac.
Wiz: Even still, Terry's stats edged out Miguel's in more ways than one.
Boomstick: When it came to maneuverability and durability, they were mostly even. Both could dodge bullets and weave through the air, both could survive heavy ballistic hits, but unlike Terry, Miguel's never outraced anything faster than a Mach 19 ballistic missile.
"That is true" Blake said
Wiz: For physical strength, Terry had him beat too. Recall that boulder he lifted underwater, this took place in Superman's Fortress of Solitude near the Arctic, so the boulder was likely composed of sedimentary dark limestone, the most common rock type around that location. So we compared Terry's height to the boulder, applied the density for limestone, and subtracted the weight reduced by underwater buoyancy to find the boulder's weight to be 192 tons.
Boomstick: And he tossed it aside like it was nothing! Terry's peak strength in the Batsuit has to be more than 200 tons!
"So Terry is as strong or stronger than Batman" Yang said
Wiz: Assuming Miguel applied his fair share when holding up that antennae, his best feat strength that we know of is at max 100 tons.
Boomstick/Ruby: But he's a Spider-Man! Spider-Men can lift more than that, right?
Popup: Most Spider-Men are officially listed with a maximum lifting strength of 25 tons. However, Peter Parker has exceeded this.
Wiz: Not usually. Technically Miguel's powers are so different from Peter's that we really shouldn't scale him to other Spider-Men, but for the benefit of the doubt, let's do it anyway.
Boomstick: We'll check out two of Spider-Man's most impressive strength feats. The first is when he braced a private jet when it was landing. Look at him! He's literally the landing gear.
Wiz: According to Spider-Man himself, the plane's total weight was at most 115,000 pounds. Adding the thrust of a Wintle W1 engine which this small jet is most likely to have a comparable engine to, this feat comes out to 58 tons.
"So Terry had the strength advantage" Weiss said
Boomstick: Not even close to Terry's 200. Then there was this one time Spidey had to push WAY past his limits to lift what he offhandedly compared to as a locomotive. Since he could measure the plane, it's likely he's accurate here, but given the time period, that's still only 130 tons at most.
Popup: It is unlikely Peter can replicate this level of strength normally without proper motivation.
Popup: This comic debuted in 1965. The most common locomotive at the time weighed 129.75 tons.
Wiz: It's clear Terry had a pretty sizable physical advantage, and just because Terry's mind wasn't as fine-tuned as the original Batman's didn't mean he's dumb.
Boomstick: Even more, Miguel never trained like Terry did, hell he never really had much formal training at all. But Terry was trained by ninjas, stealth artists, and other crime fighters to be a master in the battlefield. And since Miguel didn't have a Spider Sense, Terry just had to wait until the untrained future Spidey left an opening.
"Yep" Yang said
Wiz: In short, while Miguel wasn't completely outmatched, Terry's superior strength, counseling, equipment, and training won the bout.
Boomstick: Turns out this Batman was beyond him.
Yang laughed while the other groaned at yet another pun.
Wiz: The winner is Batman Beyond.