"Who Hoo! Another Death Battle!" Ruby said
"Wonder who are we gonna see now?" Blake said
"Who cares let's watch it" Yang said
Ruby then started the episode.
Interlude
(*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*)
Wiz: Hundreds of years ago, the samurai and the ninja battled across Japan, and these two fascinating ways of combat have been at odds ever since.
"Oh kinda your weapon Blake" Yang said
"Yeah it does" Blake said
"By the way what's the difference between samurai and ninjas?" Ruby said.
"Ninjas are more stealthy and Samurai are more headstrong" Weiss said.
Boomstick: The Shredder, the sharp and shiny arch-villain of the Ninja Turtles.
"Oh he's from the ninja turtle universe" Yang said
Wiz: And Silver Samurai, the mutant swordsman who can slice through anything.
" So like Wolverine?" Yang said
"Maybe I'm not so sure" Weiss said
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Shredder
(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)
Wiz: Beneath the streets of New York City, a secret battle wages between four humanoid turtles, and a ninja covered in blades, known as The Shredder.
"Like a papper shredder?" Ruby said
"I don't think that's what shredder means in that world" Blake said
Boomstick/Yang: A kitchen utensil?
Wiz: Many legends surround The Shredder's origins. Some say he's the reincarnation of an ancient Japanese warrior, some say he's an alien disguised as a man, and some say he's a bumbling idiot who sounds like Uncle Phil.
1987 Shredder: But I don't wanna conquer this place. I wanna conquer Earth!
"Wow this version of shredder sounds like Weiss" Blake said
"Hey!" Weiss said in an offended tone
Boomstick: Either way, every legend agrees on one thing: He's an absolute badass!
"Oh yes now where getting to the good stuff" Yang said
Wiz: Before he was called The Shredder, he was Oroku Saki, a member of the Japanese ninjutsu Foot Clan, he trained alongside his rival, Hamato Yoshi.
"The Dinosaur?" Ruby said
"Nope" Yang said
Boomstick: They weren't just rivals in martial arts, but in the search for love as well. They both pined for the lovely lady, Tang Shen. But, unfortunately for our future Shredder, she only had eyes for Yoshi...Hamato Yoshi, not the dinosaur. That'd be weird.
"Yeah I'm not sure how having a relationship with a dinosaur would work" Weiss said
Wiz: Jealous, Oroku Saki attacked Yoshi, but in his rage, accidentally struck down Tang Shen.
"Oh man that's gotta be tough" Yang said
"Blinded by his own rage is always someone's downfall" Blake said
(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)
Boomstick: Leaving Yoshi and his beloved for dead, Saki took over the Foot Clan and began a worldwide crime spree under his new name.
"The Shredder" RWBY said
Shredder: Now you face... The Shredder.
(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)
Boomstick: Y'know, I wonder, did he mean to name himself after a cheese grater? Speaking of which, if his armor didn't make it obvious enough, Shredder's got a weird spike fetish. This guy's got'em all over his legs, arms, shoulders, even his head.
"Man someone's compinsating" Yang said
"Yang that's gross" Weiss said
"What I meant that his outfit has too many spikes" Yang said
"Yeah he could poke out his eye" Ruby said
Wiz: That headpiece, the Kuro Kabuto, is a relic passed down through the Foot Clan for over 1,500 years. Forged from the totems of the clan's defeated enemies, it was formed into an alloy that's stronger than steel. Plus, it just looks awesome.
"Yeah it does!" Yang said
Boomstick: Obviously, his armor is also a kickass weapon, and he can cut anyone down with the Tekko Kagi claws on his wrists.
"Uh what?" Ruby said
Wiz: Which literally translates to "Back-Of-The-Hand-Hooks".
"So awesome!" Ruby said
Boomstick: Perfect for backhanding! It doesn't cover all that much, but he needs freedom of movement, because, you know, he's a ninja. Plus, would you wanna get anywhere near a guy covered in razors? I don't think so.
"Yeah I would either" Yang said
"It is true too many spikes and he couldn't move" Blake said
Wiz: Ninjutsu is comprised of eighteen separate disciplines, and Shredder is a master of all of them, this includes stealth, espionage, pyrotechnics, horsemanship, and plenty of weaponry.
"Uh Blake can you do all of that stuff too?" Yang said
"Some of them But I never learned horsemanship" Blake said
(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)
Boomstick: Yeah, like swords, spears, bo-staffs, and throwing weapons. But it's not like he needs 'em anyway, he's skilled in unarmed combat, too.
"Woah That's alot of weapons" Ruby said
Wiz: Now a master of his craft, the Shredder led the Foot Clan to New York City.
"Oh crud" Yang said
Boomstick: Where he found out Hamato Yoshi wasn't quite as dead as he thought.
"What??" RWBY said
Wiz: As a matter of fact, Yoshi had transformed into a rat-person, and was raising four adolescent, genetically altered shinobi terrapins, but that's another story altogether. With his hatred reinvigorated, the Shredder swore to end his lifelong enemy once and for all.
"Woah now that's a hardcore origin story" Yang said
Boomstick: Every time Shredder fought these ninja turtles, he proved why he's the leader of the Foot Clan. I mean, he's strong enough to tear through steel shipping containers with his claws, chop down trees in one sword swing, and throw around mutants several times his size like they're nothing.
"Man this guy sounds like the ultimate huntsman" Ruby said
Wiz: One such mutant, Leatherhead, weighs well over three hundred pounds.
"Whoa that's one big gator" Yang said
Boomstick: Okay, I know that's the official weight according to some toy, but look at him! Compared to the turtles, he should weigh half a ton!
"Yeah compared to the turtles he's huge" Weiss said
Wiz: Either way, the Shredder survived Leatherhead chomping down on his midsection. The femur, the strongest bone in the human body, breaks at a pressure of about 1,700 pounds per square inch, a normal, unmutated American alligator can bite with a force of nearly 3,000 PSI, and Leatherhead's bite is surely stronger.
Boomstick: Meaning Shredder should've split in half. But nope! He was back up kicking some leather butt literally five seconds later.
"Dang that's tough" Yang said
Wiz: The Shredder is a cunning strategist and talented warrior. He's fought eight mutants in combat all at once, disarming every single one of them. What's more, while intimidating an Italian mob boss and his bodyguards, he did this.
Vizioso raises a meatball to his mouth, we hear a slashing sound, and second later, we see the meatball and two candles cut through in half, Shredder re-sheathes his wrist blade.
Team Rwby was shocked to see a slash that fast even Weiss and Blake were somewhat jelous and wish they could that.
"Am I crazy or did that happen?" Weiss said
"Yep that happened" RBY said
(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)
Wiz: The most well trained human eyes are capable of detecting movements occurring at 1/220th of a second, meaning Shredder's slash could've been even faster than that.
"Even faster than my super speed?" Ruby said
"Maybe Ruby, Maybe" Weiss said
Boomstick: But sometimes, Shreds needs just a bit more juice to get the job done, literally. When you see him crack open a green one, he's not doing it to hang out with the boys.
"Gross" RWBY said
Wiz: In times of desperation, Shredder is known to resort to risking it all by consuming mutagen.
"man isn't that dangerous" Yang said
"With the chemical like that yes" Weiss said
Boomstick: Transforming him into Super Shredder.
Michelangelo: He must've drank all of it!
Donatello: It's a Super Shredder!
Wiz: While this form has given him different enhancements in different iterations, it usually grants him immense strength, inhuman durability, and even teleportation and the power to shoot lightning.
"Dang now that's power" Yang said
Boomstick/Ruby: You know, that's probably because mutagen's not an exact science, and it's bound to get random at times.
Wiz/Weiss: That's true, Boomstick/Ruby.
Boomstick/Ruby: I did a science!
Wiz/Weiss: Good job, buddy/Leader
"Yeah good job sis" Yang said
Boomstick: Heh heh! Well, he's toughed out a sword shattering against his skin, and even falling around a thousand feet onto a steel beam. Man, you'd think this guy would never lose anything, ever.
"With that kinda power he probably won't" Blake said
The Turtles slam their shells into him from all angles, he collapses.
Boomstick: But you'd also be super wrong.
Wiz: Shredder has his fair share of downsides, this includes a weakness to garbage trucks.
"Seriously? That doesn't make sense how can a garbage truck be a hero Weakness" Weiss said
"Weiss it's a cartoon don't question it" Ruby said
(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)
Shredder yells as he falls into one.
Casey Jones: Oops!
Yang was laughing while the others were snickering at his misfortune.
He pulls a lever to turn on the trash compactor.
Wiz: Newborn infants.
"Ha he got beat by a baby" Yang said
He is kissed by Tokka and Rahzar.
Shredder: They're babies! (growls)
Wiz: The power of music.
Stage Shredder: (singing) I hate music!
"Yeah I can see why" Weiss said while covering her ears
Wiz: A strange fascination with eating his enemies.
Shredder: Tonight, I dine on turtle soup.
"Gross" RWBY
Wiz: And wood.
Super Shredder pushes down the beams of a pier, which collapse on him.
"SERIOUSLY?!" RWBY said
Boomstick/Weiss: Geez, were the 90's always this stupid?
Wiz: Yeah. Thankfully, despite his failures, the Shredder keeps getting back up, faster, stronger, and much more terrifying.
"All too true" Blake sakd
Shredder: The true battle... starts NOW!
Silver Samurai
(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)
Wiz: In feudal Japan, a samurai wasn't your typical bodyguard, he was trained in the art of war, and would only serve the elite upper-class. Honor was the samurai's currency.
Boomstick: But for the Silver Samurai; Kenuichio Harada, currency was just... regular money. 'Cause that shit's useful!
"Yep it's better to get paid in real money that in honor" Yang said
"Sometimes" Blake said
Wiz: Born into the Yashida clan, Harada was the son of a powerful Yakuza crime lord. Unfortunately, he could never inherit his father's empire for himself, because he was born illegitimately. A bastard.
Boomstick/RWBY: Wow, hey, no need to throw insults around, Wiz.
"Yeah not cool man" Yang said
Wiz: No, the literal definition of ba- Move on.
(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)
Boomstick: Wiz's judgment aside, without a clear future, Harada decided to... well... become a samurai, because why not? They're pretty cool, right?
"That's super cool!" Ruby said
Wiz: Unfortunately, the Way of the samurai no longer had a place in the present. Harada knew that in a world full of absurd superpowers, he would need to dedicate his life to the art in a way never seen before.
"It was years ago so maybe he got with the times" Yang said
Boomstick: He wouldn't just be a samurai. He'd be... a Silver Samurai.
"Woah now that's a cool name" Ruby said
Wiz/WB: ...Yep.
(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)
Boomstick: While blinged out like Xzibit's rims, he picked up on a few fighting styles. Not too many. Just Bajutsu, the art of horseback, Bujitsu, military strategy, Iaijutsu, the sword-based quick draw, Tantojutsu, knife fighting, Ninjutsu, bein' sneaky, Kyujutsu, which is archery, and, well Jujutsu and Karate Do, which are both forms of unarmed combat. God! How many more jutsus do you think he can fit in his brain? I didn't even know there were that many.
"woah you'd have to be like really talented to do all those" Weiss said
Wiz: At least one more. Kenjutsu. The art of japanese swordfighting. After all, what's a samurai without a katana at his side?
"A guy with lots of armor" Yang said
Boomstick: Dead, that's what. In order to keep living, he had to get really good with swingin' that sword.
"Like really good" Weiss saod
Wiz: Luckily for Harada, he soon learned he had one of those absurd superpowers for himself.
Boomstick: Yep, he's a mutant.
"Wait what?" RWBY said
"Wait so he was a Mutant the whole time" Ruby said
"Apperently so" Blake said
Wiz: Now who's being insensitive? Harada has the ability to generate a tachyon field, with it, he can enhance his sword, allowing it to slice through almost anything.
"Woah so it's like power enhancing semblance" Yang said
Boomstick: Even GHOSTS!
Wiz: In real life, tachyonic fields are hypothetical particles with mass, which travel faster than light. A definition which may explain how Harada's cutting ability works.
"Yep" Blake said
Boomstick: So he uses his power on sharp objects. Well, that's too bad for everybody in Silver Samurai's way, because he carries a lot of 'em. He's got throwing knives and shuriken ninja stars on hand for long range attacks, and of course, he always carries that katana.
"So Awesome!" Ruby said
(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)
Wiz: He's wielded many different swords, including the legendary Muramasa blade. However, he's not too picky about what kind of sword he carries.
"It's not about the sword it's how you use it" Blake said
Boomstick: With his power, any blade Harada carries instantly becomes one of the most dangerous swords on the planet.
"Woah he's definitely a skilled swordsman" Blake said
Wiz: Harada has one more trick up his sleeve, a teleportation ring, with it, he can warp around the battlefield for unexpected strikes, and it makes for a good getaway.
"Hmm why does that sound familiar" Yang wondered
Boomstick: Though he almost lost it once, to John Belushi. You know, the guy from Saturday Night Live? Jocelyn told me about it once, it was weird.
John Belushi screams as he chops fruit on a wooden board.
" I don't think that's the same guy" Ruby said
Wiz: After years of hard work, Harada was truly a masterful warrior, however, he still struggled to defeat one opponent, the Wolverine.
"Cause he got that indestructible skeleton" Yang said
Boomstick: Who killed his dad, and got engaged to his sister, ah, the shame combo. Oh, and she was next in line to rule the Yashida clan! Man, a triple.
"Wow sucks to be him" Yang said
Wiz: Needless to say, a little miffed, Harada challenged his own sister for the right to run the clan, and he won, after she was poisoned by an unrelated third party.
"Man life is not going his way" Blake said
Boomstick: Sometimes, life just works out, Wiz.
(*Cues: Tread of Doom - Igor Dvorkin/ Ellie Kidd*)
Wiz: I guess a win's a win, and that wouldn't be his last one. He's incredibly deadly in battle. He's so fast, he deflects bullets with his sword, and once even sliced a speeding bullet completely in half. In this instance, the gunman was standing fifteen feet away when he fired the bullet, at approximately 1,400 feet per second, this means that Silver Samurai was able to reach for his sword, and accurately cleave the bullet in two, in just over one hundredth of a second.
"Woah" RWBY said
Boomstick: Even if he didn't chop it in half, his armor is totally bulletproof. Shoot, it even let him survive a freaking building falling on top of him. But without his armor, he's survived taking a sword straight through the lung, and being run over by a car from... the f***ing Jetsons?!
"What?" RWBY said
Wiz: He's no slouch on the battlefield either, he's knocked Spider-Man unconscious, shaken off hits from Cannonball, and even defeated Spider-Woman in combat. At one point, he was dog piled by Daredevil, She-Devil, along with a cheetah and a panther, together likely weighing over 600 pounds in total, and he threw them all off in one big push.
"Man hes gotta be strong if he can do that" Ruby said
Boomstick: And he's always fighting with his number one rival, Wolverine.
Wiz: Speaking of which, while some may boast that Harada is the greatest swordsman in the world, Wolverine's frequently proven to be his better.
"Cause of his claws and skeleton" Blake said
Boomstick: Yeah, he may be good with his blade, but his battle strategy isn't quite as sharp. Also, his bulletproof armor doesn't cover everything, as seen here.
"Well that's some poor planning" Weiss said
A panel is shown where Wolverine cuts off Harada's hand.
Wiz: Well, even that was merciful, compared to what happened when he went up against the four Black Samurai, although Harada defeated them all against impossible odds, he ultimately succumbed to his wounds.
Boomstick: And when he arrived in hell, Harada met the devil, who promptly killed him again by cutting off his head and smashing his corpse into mush with a soul-destroying sword the size of a school bus. Damn! Never let it be said the Silver Samurai isn't hardcore.
"Yep"
Wolverine: Last chance, Harada. Yield!
Silver Samurai: The Silver Samurai yields to no man!
His eyes and sword glow and he cuts through Wolverine's blade.
"Dang what is that sword made of?" Yang said impressed that a sword like that broke through adamantium.
Death Battle
(*Cue: Shredding Silver - Brandon Yates*)
Under the night sky, the Silver Samurai is seen honing his skills by slicing down trees in an unknown forest. All of a sudden he feels the ground shake as a number of drill-shaped escape pods emerge from the earth. The Foot ninjas emerge from the pods and attack Harada, but the Samurai slices the robots down with a few simple swings. The last pod opens up with a villainous laughter heard from the containment.
Shredder: You are no match for The Shredder!
Shredder leaps from the pod in front of the mutant samurai. The two warriors face each other wielding their katanas.
FIGHT!
Shredder dashes in for the first hit, pushes his opponent back with his sword and then swings with the samurai dodging it. He manages to land a few punches and kicks that send Harada flying back. Silver Samurai charges his katana with tachyon particles, causing it to glow yellow. Saki runs toward Harada with his blade in hand as the Samurai launches a projectile from his sword that Shredder narrowly avoids, with the attack slicing a tree in half behind him.
"Woah look at them go!" Ruby said
Harada charges the Shredder and swings his sword multiple times at high speeds. The Shredder is able to avoid every attack and he leaps into the air as the Silver Samurai stabs the ground. Saki then starts leaping on top of the trees to gain more coverage as he notices the forest behind him getting turned to dust. Harada is seen cutting down multiple trees at intense speeds to bring his opponent down.
"Best strategy to bring out your opponent" Blake said
Shredder hides behind a tall rock, but as he hears a powerful charge, he ducks to avoid Silver Samurai slicing through the rock and leaps backward. Saki notices his cape has been torn from the attack, so he tears it off and tosses it backwards. Harada belts out a large yell as he tosses five shurikens in Saki's direction. Shredder dodges it and throws a smoke bomb down to avoid the Samurai's next attack. He laughs as Harada observes his surroundings.
"Oh this is gonna get good" Yang said
Silver Samurai uses his sword to block two of Shredder's shurikens and manages to avoid Shredder's sword and terro-kagi. Using his teleporting device, Harada keeps up with Shredder's quick, ninja strikes as the two constantly miss each other. Harada then stops to observe Saki's reflection in his blade, allowing him to stab Shredder by surprise in the chest. Saki drops his sword and falls to the ground bleeding while Harada steps to the side and holds his blade up in victory.
"It looks like the samurai is gonna win" Weiss said
"Uh check again ice queen" Yang said as she pointed to the screen.
However, the fight proves to be far from over. Shredder punches the ground in anger and stands up with a capsule of mutagen. He covers himself in the substance, allowing him to heal from the attack and grow larger to become Super Shredder. Silver Samurai is shocked by the transformation and tries wedging his sword in again, but Super Shredder avoids the attack and delivers powerful blows to the Samurai to send him backward. Super Shredder summons lightning from the sky to strike the Silver Samurai, but Harada charges his sword with the tachyon particles to deflect the lightning into the trees, setting the forest on fire.
"Whoa there goes the forest" Ruby said
"This is actually reminding me of initation" Weiss said
"I said I was sorry okay? And besides now we're in sync" Ruby said
"Yeah I guess your right...team leader" Weiss said getting use to a 15 year old being leader of a team
Super Shredder walks menacingly in front of the flames as Harada attempts to attack him again. Shredder grabs the Silver Samurai's arm and karate chops it off, sending the samurai back in a bloody mess. The samurai's sword comes down, but before it hits the ground, Shredder punches it forward at high speed.
Shredder: DIE!
The sword knocks Harada's kabuto off as it's been lodged into Harada's face, causing his eye to dangle out. Silver Samurai drops to his knees on the ground in intense pain. Super Shredder chops Harada's head off with his hand and catches the Samurai's sword in his right hand and Harada's head in his left.
"Oh that's gotta leave a mark" Yang said as she winced at the sight.
Shredder: PLAYTIME IS OVER!
Super Shredder's eyes glow as he crushes the Silver Samurai's head in the palm of his hand.
KO!
Super Shredder walks away as he leaves behind Harada's bloodied sword and kabuto. Like the comic, Silver Samurai is sent to hell and is destroyed by the devil's soul-destroying sword.
Results
(*Cues: Igor Dvorkin / Ellie Kidd - Tread of Doom again*)
Boomstick/Yang: You know, I bet Shredder would go far if he took up darts.
Wiz; Both Shredder and Silver Samurai were incredibly tough, capable of withstanding tremendous amounts of pain. Harada's armor may have been tougher, but it had plenty of exposed weak points, which a fighter as precise as Shredder could exploit.
"So true" Blake said
Boomstick: Silver Samurai could throw around six hundred pounds of people and cats, which is technically stronger than anything Shredder's done, but Shred-Head's handled equally mighty mutants plenty of times, like Leatherhead.
"Considering Leatherhead is Bigger than Shredder yeah he handled him pretty well" Weiss said
Wiz: While the Silver Samurai's teleportation ring did make him harder to track, he's always preferred to use it as a means of escaping a battle, not really engaging in one. Even when he did use it during combat, his moves were often predicted by a more experienced opponents.
"Yep" RWBY said
Wolverine: This guy likes to come at me from behind. (Harada teleports, Wolverine backflips and grabs Hamada with his claws as he teleports back in, Harada cries out) Just tryin' out one of your tricks, tin man.
Wiz: Given Shredder's talents and history, it's reasonable to believe he could do the same.
"Probably" Ruby said
Boomstick: Still, with Harada's tachyon blade and Shredder's ninja precision, they only needed to land one fatal hit to finish the fight, so the real question was: Who could land the killing blow first?
"Probably Shredder" Yang
"Or the Samurai" Weiss said
Wiz: Silver Samurai's best speed feat, slicing an incoming bullet, clocked in at one-hundredth of a second, Shredder's faster-than-eyesight feat measured at four-thousandths, making him over two times faster than Harada. To be blunt, Shredder's fastest known attack was quicker than Harada's fastest known defense, proving that Shredder could deal a killing blow first.
"Called it" Yang said while Weiss pouted in defeat.
Boomstick: Or, you know, he could just turn into Super Shredder and beat the shit out of him. I mean, Super Shredder can lift and throw a giant oil tanker like it's a beach ball at a rave.
Wiz: That's probably heavier than six hundred pounds of people and cats.
"Hey!" Blake said in an offended tone
"Well you have been eating alot of tuna" Yang said
"Well I can't help that I like it" Blake said
Boomstick: Looks like Shredder was too much for Silver to tachyon.
Yang laughed while the others groaned.
Wiz: The winner is the Shredder.