He had hold many girls in his arms, but only two of them had meant something to him, whose touches had been able to make him forget about everything. It was a gift, one he eagerly exposed himself to. He loved to hold her close, to feel her warm skin against his, her fingers thoughtlessly stroking his hand. After being locked up for more than a year, every touch was intenser than ever before and holding her in someone else's bed gave the same satisfaction as whatever intimate touch.
The only thing he was wearing right now was his boxers, and all she wore was a thong. Their dalliance had ended in a loving embrace and right now neither of them felt the need to go further. Just holding each other, being together, that meant just as much to them. Maybe it meant even more, since nobody forced them to sit like this. The only reason they were doing that, was because they wanted it, because they longed for each other's closeness.
"Maddox allowed me to call him yesterday."
"What?" Kip sat a little straighter. He had already sensed that she rather wanted to talk than having sex, but he hadn't seen this coming.
Dana sighed softly, slightly turning on his lap so she could lean with her cheek against his chest. "He showed me a video first. Of Juice being drunk and beating his new girlfriend. Maddox tried to convince me that he was a monster."
Hesitating, Kip raised his hand and raked his fingers through her blonde strands, not knowing if he had to say something or if he should give her the room to continue.
"I asked him why he kept terrorizing me with those images and I told him it would be better for everyone if he gave both Juice and me the chance to make peace with things. I persuaded him to call him." She bit her lip. "He's in rehab. Apparently he realized too that the things he did were unacceptable."
"So Maddox showed you old material?"
She nodded. "Yeah... I guess he doubted for a long time if he wanted to show me the video or not. I think he wanted to protect me, but in the end his... insecurity triumphed."
"His insecurity?" Kip repeated with raised eyebrows. There were a lot of words to describe their tormentor but "insecure" certainly wasn't one of them.
"It's not like he doesn't feel ashamed about his behavior," she sighed. "For all the things he's doing to us. He admits that he makes mistakes. And he knows that I love Juice, and I think he hoped that it would be easier for me to forgive him if he showed me that I was also able to love a man who assaults his girlfriend." Dana's fingers spread across his hand. "Things are different than before. Before I ran away he considered me as his property, but now he's really trying to connect. He wants me to love him. He's lonely."
"Well he's the one who's holding us and himself on this godforsaken island." He didn't like the way she was talking about the man. If there was anything he was truly afraid of, it was that she would develop the Stockholm syndrome. That she would choose to be with him in the end. "How did Juice react?" he asked, since he rather talked about that than listening to her explanation of Maddox's behavior. He had accepted in a very early stage that that guy was completely insane and that it was a waste of energy to try to understand him.
"It was a tough talk, but a good one. We said our goodbyes. I told him to pursue his happiness and that he needs to find someone with whom he can share his love. During the video Maddox showed me, I found out that he was so drunk and angry because he was unfaithful to me. I hope I have at least taken that conflict away from him." She looked up to him, a sad smile crossing her beautiful face. "We've spoken beautiful and deep words to each other. Hopefully I managed to give him some peace."
Kip didn't doubt that. If someone was capable of doing that, it had to be Dana. She was also the only reason why he hadn't crawled into a dark corner being depressed all the time. "Did you tell him about us?"
"I told him I had feelings for a guard, hoping to decrease his guilt. I didn't dare to say something about us."
Because it would hurt him. Because I'm betraying him.
Kip felt selfish, wishing that Dana had told him. Not because he wanted Juice to suffer even more, but because he knew he would confess it the moment he would look Juice in the eye, once he was back in Charming. It might have been better if Dana had already eased him into the idea than that Kip would throw it at his feet. And even worse; he would have to tell him that he had knocked her up too and that he had left her alone with their child.
"Well let's pray he doesn't put a bullet in my brain the moment he finds out," Kip muttered. The whole thing bothered him too much to ignore it. "He will be furious if I return without you, let alone how he will feel if he discovers that I fucked his girl."
Dana's eyes narrowed and she created a little more space between them. "I'm no longer his girl. And don't talk about me like I'm a Croweater; like you have no feelings for me."
Kip dropped his eyes. Juice wouldn't give a shit about his or her feelings.