heartbreak or death | for olivia
"You can't just live your life being afraid of love. You're just getting other people hurt."
Jonah's words rang in her mind, causing her head to spin. She knew the younger Arenado brother was right. In return for protecting herself, she was hurting others.
Olivia believed that everything ended in two things; heartbreak or death. Death was inevitable but heartbreak was something she never wanted to experience. She watched the way it had tore her father apart when her mom had died. So, she never fell in love. She never gave anyone a chance at catching her heart.
Nolan Arenado had done it accidentally, and Olivia wasn't even aware of it at first. Nola was her best friend and that was all she thought he was for a long time. When Olivia began to discover that her feelings weren't just platonic, she began to drift away from Nolan.
Jonah was the only person that knew about Olivia's feelings. He was also the only one besides Nolan himself who knew of Nolan's feelings for Olivia. He felt like a relationship counselor of sorts. He saw how upset that Nolan got as he and Olivia drifted further and further away, but he also saw how truly scared Olivia was. He hadn't actually told her about Nolan's feelings, but Jonah figured it was implied.
Olivia went over her and Jonah's conversation in her head many times. He was completely right. Nolan didn't deserve to be treated like this. He deserved to have his best friend by his side like he had for many years.
So, she called Nolan. He was a bit surprised to hear her voice. Recently, it had been him calling first, not her.
"Nolan, listen, I need to talk to you," Olivia spoke nervously, phone pressed tightly against her ear.
"Okay," Nolan replied, his familiar voice ringing from the phone speaker. "I'll meet you at your house?"
"Sure." With that she hung up the phone, sighing deeply. Olivia had never tried to talk to anyone about feelings, and dong that with a person that could break her heart was terrifying. She had no clue how Nolan felt, after all.
He arrived about twenty minutes later, knocking on Olivia's door. She opened it, silently inviting Nolan inside. He stepped inside and she closed the door behind him not really sure what to say.
"What did you need to talk to me about?" Nolan questioned, turning towards Olivia. She shifted uncomfortably, looking down at the floor.
"I talked to Jonah earlier," she began shakily, mind racing as she struggled to find the right words to say. "He told me I can't keep up this not loving anyone thing, and he's right. I just end up hurting people with it because I'm too selfish. I ended up hurting you, which I hope you know is the last thing I wanna do. Sure, everything has an end, but I can't keep worrying about it and hurting the people I love. And I do love you, Nolan. More than I should."
Raising an eyebrow, Nolan replied, "Are you implying..."
For lack of better words, Olivia responded, "I wanna be yours."
y'all should go listen to this song bc it's amazing and i don't do it justice
08.15.18