You sat on a hill, not too far from the base you'd been situated in. You'd managed to sneak a hot sandwich up with you; not having bumped into any troopers on the way. This wasn't the first time you'd made it up to the hill, the rain had stopped and the skies had cleared, giving wake to a blanket of silvery stars.
You sighed breath crystallising around you, pulling your cloak a little tighter, data pad wrapped securely inside it, your saber tucked behind that. You looked up at the stars, sighed again and then took another bite out of your sandwich, the plain taste a welcoming warmth to your stomach.
"Perhaps they don't have the men?" you asked no one in particular.
"Perhaps Jimmy J didn't really want me back, they just used him to get to me...to get to the First Order. Perhaps to them Kylo is just a pawn in something far bigger. Perhaps I am just the board the pieces play on..." you took one last bite and dusted off your hands.
You pulled out your data pad, looked at the message you'd sent:
*~I have some information for the Resistance: come to my co-ordinates, expect Kylo and around 100 troopers.~*
"Perhaps I have been too blunt...naive maybe?" you said before stuffing your data pad back in your cloak.
"What have you been too blunt about?" Kylo said coming up beside you.
"Oh." you paused searching the skies again, "just talking to myself."
"Do...you..would you...mind if I...joined you?" he stumbled on his words like a nervous teen asking his long time crush to prom.
"Erm. Can't exactly say no can I?" you sighed feeling more than a little awkward.
He stopped and turned on his heel and you're not sure why or how but your own voice escaped you.
"Of course you can join me Commander, I don't own this hill" you said a slight chuckle in your tone.
"Look ____, about today...I can't...we won't." he shuffled on the spot where he'd chosen to sit next to you.
You smiled looking at the sky.
"We won't be able to train well if we don't try to right our...misunderstandi-"
"There's nothing to right. It's done." you said bluntly, wanting more than ever your rescue mission to take you away.
"I meant what I said. I want you to..." he fidgeted one more time, "fuck."
The simple profanity snapped you out of your sulking daze, and you turned to face him. Watching him remove his helmet.
"Does anyone other than me know what you look like?" you said trying to lighten the heavy mood.
He let out a breath it forming mist around him, just as yours had. A sudden coldness washing over you.
"Yes." he said plainly and then there was a comfortable pause before he continued "those who have admittedly didn't get quite so excited as you did though."
Your heart leaped to your throat and you swallowed a cough that was about to escape, "there..there's something about you...that I quite clearly..can't" you stopped the fight you were having with yourself and just let the silence fill the air. The quietness causing a surge of thoughts to wash over you, the first time you had seen him on Takodana, the time you were taken prisoner by him, the time you were released. Your heart stopped.
You chewed the inside of your cheek, pulling your hood of your cloak up over your head, "it's cold," you said to draw him away from your embarrassment., but now your mind wouldn't stop, ever sexual encounter you had had with him flowing through and pouring out into the cracks of your projections to him. You settled on the images of him first forcing his needy cock into your mouth, the taste of him washing over you tongue.
"Fuck..____..." he grumbled under his breath, you snapped out of your montage and stared at him, he'd placed both hands flat on the ground behind him, his head tilted back, cock throbbing between the fabrics that covered it. "Would you.." he paused, his tone angry, thoughts of your earlier conversation filling his head.
"Sorry...the force bond. I often forget it happened, with how despondent you-" you remembered your place and stopped, "never mind."
"I'm not unfeeling..." he tried before he stopped fighting himself and pinned you to the floor with your arms above your head, "I can feel every emotion of yours. I felt your pride today. Your courage, your need to overthrow Hux. Your inability to stop those intoxicating thoughts..." he said between the heated trail of kisses he was leaving on your neck, "I feel how fast your heart beats when I barely touch you. I know how infatuated you are with me...."
You arched your back for him to gain more friction and he greedily tore open your shirt to carry his path downwards.
"I know how hard you're fighting your want right now. I know where you want me to put my tongue. I know how to make you squirm..." more kisses made there way over you sensitive skin, inducing goose bumps, half from the cold half from his words.
"Give into your Commander pet..." he said sucking the skin on your chest eliciting moans from you.
"Be your Commander's good little girl" he knew that would strike a nerve in you but it did the opposite only spurred your need for him to take you more.
"Don't you think we should carry this on where it's a little warmer..." you stuttered.
"Whatever you want beautiful I'm yours."
Time froze.
You regarded his lips glued to your skin his eyes alight with passion and want.
Beautiful. Mine? Those weren't the words the Commander tended to use when describing you. Was this Ben again? Slipping through the cracks for you: breaking his facade.
You swear time slowed down more as if it was possible as you repeated his words in your head.
"I know how... difficult I am ___ I know how annoying it is to hide our need for each other but I can't go without you like before I can't play this game anymore. Succumb to me pet and I promise I'll take care you of you."
Take care? Okay what's happened to Kylo.
Nothing. I can just be Ben for you. His thoughts purred, tugging at your heart.
You knew you'd regret it you knew he'd manipulate you into ultimate submission but you don't remember the last time you had home and you don't remember anyone teaching you like he does. He's your best shot at surviving the shit and you were in the right mind to take him up on it.
"Umm well Kylo..." you tried to force out coherent words but before you could the sound of x wings buzzed into the complex.
Kylo rolled off you, he'd heard them too.
I'm sorry beautiful but we'll have to continue this later. He cooed as he held a hand out to pick you up. Least you remembered your gloves. He taunted.
You froze, heart stopping, "The Resistance! No shit. I..."
Kylo read your thoughts in the moment and was about to flip out when one of the familiar green beams shot in-between the middle of you: you took the opportunity to dart.
You didn't look back to steal one last glance of the man you knew you loved. Before taking to the trees you heard the helmet shout, "what have you done you conniving-!" but it was cut off as you stumbled over brambles and twigs, deep into the damp musky scent of the woods.
You'd ran for a long time, trying to reach the Resistance, but feet failing you as you willed them to continue. The dark side was fun, addictive, however you thought perhaps that was Kylo's influence on you.
You dropped your data pad and ignited your saber, too afraid to face them all. The battled you'd be running from all you life, but what hurt most in that moment as you reached the edge of the forest was his robotic voice playing over in your head.
You couldn't remember a time it had sounded so angry.
A/N I hope you're ready to pick a side because I am not! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and as I am in the middle of writing the Triplets AU I'd love to have your opinions on how you'd like it to be and if there is something specific you want from it. I'd love to hear your comments or even PM your ideas, it would really help for when I hit the inevitable writers block.
Love you all!
Els x