Song for this chapter:
· Love Should Be A Crime - O-Town
Jade's POV
I hid from everyone the next day, I refused to attend any of my classes. Upon my arrival to my flat, I shut of my cell phone so that nobody could contact me, I wanted to be alone. And alone I was, alone in my small flat with only alcohol and my own thoughts to keep my company. I only managed to leave the flat once that day, just so that I could leave the guitar that Tyler bought me outside of his flat. Other than that I spent the entire day getting stoned, purging, and binge drinking.
After I left Tyler's flat, I went out and bought a twelve pack of bud light and two bottles of vodka, it surly helped to numb the pain but not entirely and it just caused me to crave more and more. My addictions were taking control, and I couldn't stop myself, I had no control. The whole ordeal was way too much for me to handle. Tyler hated me, Harry didn't love me, and Liam pitied me. I was lost, and alone, and afraid. Afraid of what the future would hold, and afraid of my own self.
Tyler stopped by the flat around eleven that morning and pounded his hands against my flat door. I ignored him by plugging in my ear buds into my laptop, and drowning out his pleas to speak with me. Tyler had been there for me since the very first day that I attended ISU. He was my first friend in the States. He helped me with my heroin withdrawals and he saved me from Damon's abuse. Most of the time, Tyler was a great friend. But Tyler also had a dark side, he got envious over any man that spoke with me. And he was so envious of Harry, to the extent that he wanted to physically harm him.
And Harry, my beautiful emerald eyed deity. He hurt me the most. He had managed to rip everything away from me. I gave myself to him wholly and he gave me nothing in return. My first kiss, my virginity, and more importantly my heart and soul. What did I get in return for giving them those things, nothing. Harry had taken everything for a fucking bet, a bet that he was idiotic to accept.
I will never understand why men love to tear women apart. To break down every single fiber of their being just so that they can feel powerful and superior. Women deserve to be treated with respect. They deserve to be loved with everything that they have and to be loved for who they are and not by their appearance. Also, I had never been able to wrap my mind around the fact of if men hated to see their mothers or sisters treated unfairly by their fathers or by their sisters boyfriends, then why would they do the same thing? It's as hypocritical as it could be. Although Harry nor Tyler had ever laid a finger on me, that didn't mean that they didn't abuse me, they done it mentally and emotionally, and I nor any other woman in the world deserved any type of abuse.
I had finally decided that if Harry wanted me, he needed to come forward and tell me. I was tired of waiting. If he didn't want me then he needed to set me free from the cage that he was holding me in. I was tired of his games, and his lies. He needed to be honest and be a man. Harry had told me that he loved me multiples since I was eighteen but they were all lies. I was naive but that is beside the point. I had truthfully believed every single lie that slipped through his lips, I was blinded by my own love for him and didn't listen to my screaming brain.
I felt vomit making it's way up my esophagus, so I drunkenly ran from my bed to the restroom. I dropped to my knees and vomited for the tenth time that day. I slowly picked myself up off of the restroom floor and stumbled back into my bed. I threw my face into the pillows, I felt exhausted. I closed my eyes and hoped that thing would get better. But deep down inside I knew that they wouldn't any time soon, so hopefully I would die in my sleep.