Author's Note: Viewer discretion is recommended for this chapter! Please don't report! It contains a rape trigger. If you are uncomfortable with this, I suggest you just skim read and wait for the next update, because missing this chapter won't affect your understanding of the story. Thanks! (I'm sorry I wasn't clear with my warning earlier. Please understand that I do not condone sexual harrassment or rape in any way).
True to his character, Sasuke invited himself into my quarters that night with no warning.
In preparation for his arrival, I had bathed and gotten into bed as soon as Shisui had returned me, laden with his words of his encouragement. I'd spent the last two or so hours trying to find solace and sleep in the darkness of my confines, but my fears were too much to overcome to allow myself peace of mind.
"Hn." My forcibly shut eyes widened at the sound of the Uchiha's infamous scowl, and I felt myself break into a light sweat as my bedroom door was opened and then closed immediately.
"Are you asleep?" Throat dry, I couldn't find either the strength or willpower to answer him. "I'm going to wake you up anyway."
I heard the soft footfalls of his feet as he approached my bed, and screwed my eyes shut as I felt his weight bringing down the end.
"Oi."
"What do you want?" I cried, kicking at the Uchiha. He groaned, and I heard the sound of his palm slapping to his forehead. Without any further words, he had clambered onto my retreating figure and grabbed me by the shoulders, hoisting me up so that we were face to face.
Eyes still scrunched shut, I refused to allow myself sight. Knowing that as soon as I did, I would be subject to his genjutsu once more.
I didn't want to submit to his genjutsu.
This was my body; I wanted to know what he did to it, regardless of whether it hurt me or not.
I knew that I couldn't stop it, but I didn't want to be left in the dark about it either.
This was my body.
"Look at me," he commanded, tilting my face up by the chin. "Look at me!"
I refused to budge, chanting over and over to myself in my mind: I refuse to submit. I refuse to submit.
"Stop being a pain in the ass and open your eyes!"
Shaking with anger and fear of the unknown, I felt my eyes begin to sting with hot, salty tears as Sasuke held my face, squeezing it as hard as he could.
We sat in that position for a good ten minutes.
"You're not making this any easier for the two of us," spat Sasuke, violently shaking my head from side to side as the tears began to spill down my face. "Just open your eyes so I can get this over and done with!"
"N-No," I said in a cracked voice, averting my gaze from the Uchiha. "I don't- want to be under your genjutsu again!"
"Too bad." His voice was a snarl, and an imperative one at that. I winced as he forcibly pushed me onto the bed, sitting on my stomach and grabbing my eyelids.
I refuse to be held under his genjutsu.
I refuse to be held under his genjutsu.
I refuse...
All hopes I had were dashed when I felt him pry my eyelids open and saw his eyes flash red. I knew then and there it was game over.
Let the genjutsu begin, I thought in defeat, waiting for the scenery to magically change, for Shisui to be my shining knight in armour and whisk me away, only for me to return in the morning with shattered pride.
But it didn't happen.
None of it did.
Because Sasuke didn't disappear; if anything, nothing had changed from before.
"Finally," he grunted, leaning on one knee and pulling the blanket between us off of the bed. I felt my face break out into a look of confusion: was this meant to be the genjutsu?
((I'M GIVING YOU A CHANCE RIGHT NOW TO TURN BACK/STOP READING IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SEX SCENES))
((THANKS))
((KUSHINA))
Judging by the sound of fabric moving around, I assumed Sasuke was taking off his shirt. In the darkness, my eyes could only make out his outline as he sat on top of me, unbuttoning it. That came off quickly.
It was as if my body had gone limp; my mind was there, but I couldn't move or say anything to him.
Is this a half-done genjutsu, then? I mused to myself, finding it funny how the oh so perfect General Uchiha could have possibly messed up subduing his non-shinobi victim. My ego was cut short as Sasuke reached down for the hem of my nightdress and began pulling it up and over my body, scowling as it got stuck around the middle of my head before yanking it off and tossing it aside.
Ouch, I grimaced in my mind, as the dress hooked around my ear before flying off. I could still feel everything he was doing to me.
As that daunting realisation crossed my mind, my eyes widened and I envisaged what was coming.
If I can still feel him sitting on me... and I felt my dress coming up...
I would still be able to feel him when he... did the deed.
What went from passiveness and scorn suddenly turned into anxiety and agitation as I realised that I would be feeling him enter. And that would be sooner, rather than later.
But we did it last night... maybe it won't be so bad today...
After getting over the fact that I had lost my virginity while being completely unaware of it, I was now trying to reassure myself that it would be okay a second time.
You're the one who didn't want to be put into the genjutsu. Square up, because you got what you asked for.
If I could, I would have taken a deep breath then and there. But I couldn't.
I couldn't move anything. Not my legs, or my arms. Not even my head.
All while I was busy internalising my situation in my head, Sasuke had taken the liberty of completely removing his own clothes. I felt his skin against mine as he leaned forward, and I felt what seemed to be the tip of his member brush against my tummy as he reached underneath me and began to pull down my own underwear.
As soon as they had come off, they too were flung off of the bed, and I felt Sasuke slide down my thighs so that he was sitting on top of my knees in all his bareness.
"Look at how peaceful you are when you aren't being annoying," he glowered. I winced as he smacked the side of my leg repeatedly, absolutely positive that it would end up leaving a mark on my skin.
Son of a bitch, I hissed to myself as he spread my legs unceremoniously, propping himself up between me. Listless and lying flat on my back, I couldn't move to see what he was doing, but I sure could feel it.
He grasped my unmoving thighs in a tight grip, and I wrenched my eyes shut, waiting for it to happen.
It started with just a small touch between the tip of his hardened member and my completely vulnerable womanhood. Slowly but steadily, I felt Sasuke push himself into me, and opened my eyes wide as it began its journey in.
HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
As soon as he was completely in, I was speechless to the point where I couldn't even think of anything. All I could concentrate on was this new- presence- inside of me, taking up space, throbbing against my walls.
WHAT THE FUCK
I was surprised to say the least, because although I was still tender from the previous night, Sasuke's entry was nothing more than a little discomfort as I adjusted to the feeling of his penis inside of me.
WHAT THE FUCK!?
Barely used to the fact that Sasuke was inside me, the Uchiha slowly began to thrust backwards and forwards, albeit with a small groan of annoyance. Well, I'd assume it was annoyance. I highly doubted the Sasuke Uchiha would even entertain the thought of enjoying intercourse with me.
The Uchiha's thrusts began to increase in speed, and I felt him lean over me propped up on his elbows on either side of my head. Shutting my eyes as quickly as I could, I could feel his warm breath on my face as he continued at a steady pace, letting out a small moan as he continued. Part of me wanted to cry; part of me wanted to scream; yet another part of me wanted to throw up. Feeling him go in and out made me feel all kinds of things; the sound of skin slapping against skin didn't reassure me either.
I felt one of his hands slide up to my head, grabbing a fistful of hair and clutching onto it as his moans continued. I no longer felt sick to the stomach, or to an extent, violated.
Now, all I felt was awkward.
While neither of us had signed up for this in the first place... Sasuke seemed to be enjoying it a lot more than I was. And I felt awkward about that.
Am I meant to be moaning as well or...? Oh, right. I can't even speak.
His head dropped to my shoulder, and I opened my eyes just a little bit as I began to think about my situation. With his heavy breathing in my ear and one hand gently pulling on my hair, Sasuke's moans increased as his steady, rhythmic thrusts began to speed up erratically and increase in power, and I felt the bed beginning to creak violently beneath us.
I was drawn back to myself and my predicament as nothing but these sounds filled my ears, and I felt my vagina begin to tighten up below me. I felt a heat spreading between my legs, and my eyes rolled back as I felt my body begin to take a life of its own.
What had once been non-effective thrusts within me had now become something different: as Sasuke's behaviour increased erratically, I felt my body drawing closer to what I knew was my climax.
Wow... why do I feel like I'm liking this bit...
I felt myself going short of breath, but god knows I couldn't move any part of my body at that godforsaken time. As Sasuke pounded, I felt myself enjoying it: so much to the extent that if I could have, god forbid, I would have been moaning loudly as well. And it wouldn't be clean moaning at that, if you know what I'm saying.
As soon as I felt myself being filled up, what was a slowly building moment of pleasure soon reached the point where it began to feel like torture.
And then I started hating myself for succumbing before Sasuke had.
He was still going, but this time, his erratic thrusts were beginning to hurt me so much that I felt tears burning my eyes, and he continued on, completely oblivious to my semi-conscious state.
By now, he had straightened up and was tightly gripping onto both of my thighs in each hand as he had been in the beginning, his nails digging into my skin as he threw his head back and let out a husky groan that even I enjoyed hearing, regardless of my pain.
"Ahh, fuck... Kohana..."
I closed my eyes as I felt him come and spill into me, ultimately succeeding in his mission.
And as he continued moaning different things and my name, my tears fell at the realisation that this was what I had to get used to.
This was the only value his clan held for me.
Nothing more than a vassal, a body to be used, a womb to breed children- no, more specifically, their children- in.
With a final throaty moan, Sasuke's thrusts slowed down and eventually came to a stop, and he lay down on top of me as he pulled out, breathing heavily.
I was surprised as he continued to moan in satisfaction, cupping my cheek in one hand and sloppily placing his mouth on top of mine as he hungrily searched for my lips.
It was a deep, amorous kiss, most likely fuelled by his lascivious fucking session.
Had it been anyone else, I would have mistaken it as the kiss of someone who had just finished making love to their one and only.
But this was Sasuke Uchiha.
That was impossible.
Eyes closed and tears falling freely, I anxiously waited for him to call it a night and get out of my room.
But he didn't.
"... hm? What's this...?"
As he unlatched his lips from mine, I felt Sasuke sit up once more, and lift a hand to my tear stained cheeks. Rubbing one with his thumb to make sure what he was seeing was correct, he muttered, "I could've sworn I gave her a good one."
Ignoring it and lying beside me, Sasuke sighed as he pulled me into a small embrace, burying his face into the side of my neck as he made space for himself on my bed.
As my tears continued to travel down in an alarming rate, I expected him to complain about my waterworks splashing all over his face.
But he didn't.
"You're even annoying when you're not trying to be," he mumbled into my neck, making himself comfortable around my body. Aside from between my legs, I started to feel numb pain in my thighs from where he had smacked and dug his nails into me.
Wincing internally, I stared up at the ceiling of my bedroom, feeling Sasuke lull into rapt slumber as he held onto me.
I waited for sleep to come that night, adjusting to my experience.
I could still feel the sticky remnants of Sasuke's conquest between my legs, and felt shaken to the core that it was there in the first place.
Was there blood? Did I come? Did I pee a little?
My mind whirred as I began to delve deeper and deeper with my questions, breaking into a nervous sweat.
What did he think? Did he enjoy himself?
What did he think of my body?
Did he like what he saw? What he felt?
The more I thought about it, the more self-conscious I became.
I waited, yearning for sleep to take over me.
It seemed like I'd been waiting for eons when it did.