Songs for this chapter are:
Explosions- Ellie Goulding
Down- Jason Walker
Hardin's POV.
"Where are you?" His angry voice booms down the hall, creeping into the kitchen. The front door slams and I jump down from the kitchen chair, grabbing my book in my hands. My shoulder knocks into the bottle on the table, bringing it crashing to the ground into too many pieces. The brown liquid covers the floor and I hurry to hide it before he finds me and sees what I did.
"Anne! I know you're here!" He yells again. His voice is closer now. My small hands pull the towel from the stove and throw it onto the floor to cover the mess I made.
"Where's your mum?" I jerk back at the sound of his voice.
"She's..she's not here." I tell him, standing to my feet.
"What the fuck did you do?" He shouts, pushing past me to the big mess I made. I didn't mean to make the mess. I knew he would be angry.
"That bottle of scotch was older than you," he says. I look up to his red face and he stumbles. "You broke my fucking bottle," My dad's voice is slow. It always sounds like this when he comes home lately.
I back away, taking small steps. If I can just get to the stairs, I will get away. He's too drunk to follow me up them. He fell down them last time.
"What's that?" His angry eyes focus on my book. I hug it tighter to my chest. No. Not this one too.
"Come here, boy." He circles around me.
"Please don't," I beg the man as he rips my favorite book from my hands. Miss Johnson says that I'm a good reader, better than anyone else in fifth year.
"You broke my bottle so I get to break something of yours," he smiles. I back away as he tears the book in two. I cover my ears and watch as Gatsby and Daisy float around the room in a white mess. He grabs onto some of the pages in the air and rips them into small pieces.
I can't be a baby, I can't cry. It's just a book. It's just a book.
My eyes are burning but I'm not a baby so I can't cry.
"You're just like him, you know? With your stupid fucking books," he slurs.
Just like who? Jay Gatsby? He doesn't read as much as me.
"She thinks I'm stupid but I'm not," his hands grab onto the back of the chair to keep from falling. "I know what she did," his voice goes quiet and I think my dad is going to cry.
"Clean this shit up," he groans and leaves me alone in the kitchen, kicking the binding of my book as he leaves.
..
"Hardin! Hardin, wake up!" A voice calls me from my mum's kitchen. "Hardin, it's only a dream, please wake up," my eyes fly open. I'm met with worried gray eyes and an unfamiliar ceiling above my head. It takes me a moment to realize that I'm not in my mum's kitchen, there is no spilled scotch or torn novel.
"I'm so sorry for leaving you in here alone. I just went to get some breakfast, I didn't think-" her voice breaks off into a sob and she wraps her arms around my sweat covered back.
"Shh," I smooth her hair, "I'm fine," I blink a few times.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She quietly asks.
"No, I can't even remember it really," I tell her. The dream has turned blurry, fading out further with each stroke of her hand across the bare skin between my shoulder blades.
I let her hold me for a few minutes before breaking away, "I got breakfast for you," she says, wiping her nose with the sleeve of my sweatshirt she is wearing. "Sorry," she smiles shyly, holding the snot covered sleeve up in front of me.
I can't help but laugh, my nightmare forgotten. "There have been worse things on that sweatshirt," I cheekily remind her, trying to make her laugh. My thoughts travel back to when she jacked me off in the apartment while I was wearing said sweatshirt and quite the mess was made.
Her cheeks flush and I reach for the tray of food next to her. She has piled it high with different types of bread, fruit, cheese, and even a small box of frosted flakes.
"I had to fight an old woman for that," she grins, nodding toward the cereal.
"You did no such thing," I tease her as she brings a grape to her lips.
"I would have," she admits.
The mood has shifted drastically since our arrival in the middle of the night. "Did you change the tickets?" I ask her and tear into the box of cereal, not bothering to pour it into the small bowl.
"I wanted to talk about that with you," her voice lowers. She didn't change the tickets. I sigh and wait for her to finish, "I talked to Christian last night, well this morning,"
"What? Why? I told you-" I stand to my feet, tossing the cereal onto the tray.
"I know you did, but just hear me out," she begs.
"Fine," I sit back on the bed and wait for her explanation.
"He said he is really sorry and that he needs to explain all of this to you. I understand if you don't want to hear it. If you don't want to talk to either of them I will get online and change the tickets now, I just wanted to give you the option first. I know you care for him," her gray eyes begin to water again.
"I don't," I assure her.
"Do you want me to change them?" She asks.
"Yes," I tell her. She frowns and leans over to lift my laptop from the nightstand next to the bed. "What else did he say?" I hesitantly ask. It doesn't matter but I'm curious.
"The wedding is still on," she informs me. What the fuck? "And he says he is going to tell Kimberly everything and that he loves her more than his own life," Tessa's bottom lip begins to tremble at the mention of her betrayed friend.
"Robin is fucking stupid then, maybe he does belong with my mum after all,"
"I don't know what made him forgive her so quickly but he did," Tessa pauses to gauge my mood, "Christian asked me to have you at least say goodbye to your mother before we leave. He knows you won't go to the wedding but he wants you to tell her goodbye," she rushes the words.
"Hell no. No fucking way. I'm getting dressed and we are getting the fuck out of this shithole," I wave my hand around the overly expensive hotel room.
"Okay," she agrees.
That was easy. Too easy. "What do you mean okay?" I ask her.
"Nothing. I just meant, okay. I understand if you don't want to." She shrugs her shoulders and tucks her messy hair behind both ears.
"You do?"
"Yes," she smiles a weak smile, "I know I'm hard on you sometimes but I will support you on this. You are completely justified here,"
"Okay," I say, more than a little relieved. I thought she would fight me and even force me to go to the wedding. "I can't wait to go back," I rub my fingers over my temples.
"Yeah, me too." Tessa weakly replies. Where the fuck is she going to live? After what happened here she can't just go back to Vance's house but she won't come to Pullman with me. I don't know what she's going to do but I do know that I want to rip Vance's fucking head from his body for making this complicated for her.
I wish I could get her a job with me at Bolthouse but it's impossible. She's not yet a sophomore and paying internships at publishing houses don't come every day, even to graduates. There is no way she will get another, especially in Seattle, not until she's further along in her degree or even finished.
I take the laptop from her hands to finish the task of changing our tickets. I shouldn't have even agreed to come. Vance talked me into bringing her here, only to ruin the entire damn weekend.
"I just need to get the stuff from the bathroom and we can go to the airport," Tessa says, tucking my dirty clothes into the top pocket of the suitcase. A defeated frown covers her face and her brows are drawn together, I want to smooth away the deep worry line between them. I hate the way her shoulders are slumped and I know without a doubt that they are carrying the burden of my troubles. I love Tessa and I love her compassion, I just wish she wouldn't carry my problems along with hers. I can carry them myself.
"Are you alright?" I ask her. She looks up and plasters the most non-convincing smile onto her face.
"Yeah, are you?" she asks, her worry line deepening.
"Not if you aren't. Tessa, don't worry about me."
"I'm not," she lies.
"Tess," I cross the room and stand in front of her, pulling the shirt from her hands that I've just watched her fold at least ten times within the last two minutes. "I'm fine, okay? I'm still pissed off and shit but I know you're worried that I will snap. I won't." I look down at my busted hands, "well not again," I correct myself with a small laugh.
"I know it's just that you've been controlling your anger so well and I don't want anything to jeopardize that progress."
"I know," I run my hand over my hair and try to think clearly without involving anger.
"I'm really proud of you, even now for how you handled it. Christian was the one who attacked you," she says.
"Come here," I hold my arms out and she graciously steps into them, nuzzling her head into my chest. "Even if he wouldn't have came at me the fight still would have happened. I know I would have made the first move if he hadn't." I tell her. My hands move under the hem of her shirt and she flinches at my cold touch against the warm skin of her back.
"I know," she agrees.
"Since you are off until Wednesday we will stay at my father's house until you-" the vibrating of her cell phone interrupts me.
Both of our eyes dart to the table, "I won't answer it," she promises.
I let go of Tessa and grab her phone from the table. Looking at the name, I take a breath before answering, "Stop fucking harassing Tessa, if you want to talk to me then you can call me. Don't bring her into this shit," I say before he can even say hello.
"I did call you, you shut your phone off." Christian says.
"And why do you think that is?" I huff, "if I wanted to talk to you I would have but since I don't, stop fucking bothering me."
"Hardin, I know you are pissed but we need to talk about this,"
"There isn't anything to talk about!" I shout. Tessa watches with worried eyes as I try to control my temper.
"Yes there is, there is a lot to talk about. All I'm asking for is fifteen minutes," his voice is pleading.
"Why should I?"
"Because I know you feel betrayed and I want to explain myself. You're important to me and to your mum," he says.
"So now you two are some united front against me? Fuck off," my hands are shaking.
"You can act like you don't give a fuck about either of us but your anger from all of this shows that you do."
"I could give a fuck less about either of you!" I pull the phone away from my ear and stop myself from smashing it into pieces against the wall.
"Fifteen minutes." He repeats, "the wedding doesn't start for a few hours. All the men are meeting for lunch at Gabriel's bar, you should meet me there."
"You want me to meet you at a bar? Are you fucking stupid?" A drink sounds good right about now, the burn of hot whiskey on my tongue..
"Not to drink, only to talk. A public place would be better for us to meet for obvious reasons. We can meet somewhere else if you want." He sighs.
"No, Gabriel's is fine," I agree. Tessa' eyes go wide and she tilts her head slightly, obviously confused by my change of heart. It's not affection that makes me want to hear him out, it's purely curiosity. He claims that there is an explanation for all of this and I want to hear it. Otherwise, my barely existent relationship with my mum will be completely vanished.
"Okay," I can tell he didn't expect me to agree, "I'll meet you there at one, it's noon now."
"Sure," I snap. I don't know how this little meeting could possibly stay non-violent.
"You should bring Tessa by Heath, that's where Kim and Smith will be, it's only a few miles from Gabriel's and Kimberly could really use a friend right now," I ignore the thick shame in his voice. Fucking asshole.
"Tessa will be coming with me," I tell him.
"Do you really want to bring her into a potentially violent situation, again?" He asks. Yes, yes I do. No, I don't. I don't want to be away from her but she has seen enough violence from me to last a lifetime.
"You're only saying that because you want her to comfort your fiancé after you fucking cheated on her," I growl.
"No," Vance pauses, "I just want to talk to you alone and I don't think it would be a good decision to have either women present."
"Fine. I'll fucking meet you in an hour." I hang up the phone and turn to Tessa. "He wants you to hang out with Kim while we talk."
"Does she know?" She quietly asks.
"I think so,"
"Are you sure you want to meet him? I don't want you to feel like you have to,"
"Do you think I should?" I ask her.
"Yes," she nods.
"Then I'm going to," I pace across the room.
Tessa stands from the bed and wraps her arms around my waist, "I love you, so much," she says against my bare chest.
"I love you," I will never tire of hearing her say the words. "Get dressed, we have to leave in less than an hour,"
..
When she steps out of the bathroom, I nearly choke on my breath.
"Fuck," I cross the room in three steps.
"Does this look okay?" She asks, turning in s slow circle.
"Uhm, yeah." I choke. Okay? Is she fucking insane? The white dress that she wore to my father's wedding looks even better on her now than it did then.
"I could barely zip it," she smiles, embarrassed. She turns around and lifts her hair off of her back, "can you zip the rest?"
I love that I have seen every inch of her hundreds of times, yet her cheeks still flush and she still holds onto some of her innocence. I haven't completely tainted her.
"Have you changed your mind? I don't want you to be uncomfortable," Tessa's voice is soft.
"Yes, I'm sure. All I'm doing is giving him fifteen minutes to listen to whatever bullshit he has to say," I sigh. I sure as hell don't want to go anywhere except to the damn airport but after seeing the look on her face while she repacked that suitcase I had to at do this, not only for her, but for myself too.
"I look like a fucking bum next to you," I tell her and she smiles, her eyes running over my face and body.
"Please!" She laughs. I look down at my black shirt and ripped jeans. "You could have shaved," she smiles. I can tell she's nervous and she's trying to lighten the mood. I couldn't be further from nervous, I just want to get this shit over with.
"You like this," I take her hand and rub it along the stubble on my jaw. "Especially between your legs," I bring her hand to my mouth and kiss her fingertips. She jerks her hand away as I wrap my lips around her index finger and swats at my chest.
"You never stop," she playfully scolds me and for a moment, I forget about all of the bullshit.
"Nope, and I never will," I reach around squeeze her ass with both hands, she yelps.
The drive to the park is nerve-wracking, Tessa picks at her painted fingernails in the passenger seat and stares out the window.
"What if he didn't tell her? Should I?" She finally speaks as I pull through the gate. Despite her worry, I watch as her eyes take in the scenic view of Hampstead Heath. "Wow," she says, sounding many years younger.
"I knew you would like this place," I say.
"It's beautiful. How is this is the middle of London?" She gapes at the untouched land, one of the only places in the city that hasn't been polluted by smog and corporations.
"There she is," I drive slowly toward the blonde sitting on a bench. Smith is sitting on another bench about twenty feet away with a piece of a toy train on his lap. That little boy is so weird.
"If you need anything at all, please call me. I will find my way to you." Tessa promises before getting out of the car.
"Same to you," I gently pull her across the console to kiss her. "I mean it, if anything goes wrong, call me immediately." I tell her.
"I'm more worried for you," she whispers against my lips.
"I'll be fine, now go tell your friend how big of a shit bag her fiancé is," I kiss her again. She frowns at me but stays quiet as she leaves the car and walks across the grass to Kimberly.
Tessa's POV.
I try to gather my thoughts as I cross the grass to meet Kimberly. I don't know what to say to her and I am terrified that she may not be aware of what happened last night. I don't want to be the one to tell her, that is Christian's responsibility, but I don't think I have it in me to pretend like nothing happened if she doesn't know.
My question is immediately answered when she turns around to face me. Her eyes, though heavily covered in shadow, are swollen and sad.
"I'm so sorry," I say. I sit down next to her on the stone bench and she wraps her arms around me.
"I would cry but I'm afraid I'm all dried up," she tries to force a smile that doesn't meet her eyes.
"I don't know what to say," I admit, glancing across the way at Smith who thankfully, is out of earshot.
"Well you can start with helping me plan a double murder," Kimberly gathers her shoulder length hair and pushes it to one side.
"I can do that," I half laugh. I wish I had even half of Kimberly's strength.
"Good," she smiles and squeezes my hand between hers. "You look really hot today," she compliments.
"Thank you. You look beautiful," I tell her. Her pale blue beaded dress glitters under the sunlight.
Are you going to the wedding?" She asks.
"No, I just wanted to look better than I'm feeling." I reply, "are you going to the wedding?"
"Yeah," she sighs, "I don't know what I will do after the wedding but I don't want to confuse Smith. He's a smart boy and I don't want to alert him to anything that's going on," her eyes focus on the little boy and his train.
"Besides, Sasha's skanky ass is here with Max and I'll be damned if I give her something to gossip about,"
"Sasha came here with Max? What about Denise and Lillian?" Max's infidelity knows no bounds.
"Exactly what I said! She has no shame, coming all the way to England for a wedding with a married man. I should beat the hell out of her to get some of this anger out," Kimberly's tenses. I can't imagine the pain she must be feeling right now and I admire the way she is holding herself together.
"Are you..I don't want to pry but-"
"Tessa, all I do is pry, you're allowed to too," she says with a warm smile.
"Are you going to stay with him? If you don't want to talk about it we don't have to,"
"I do want to talk about it. I have to talk about it because if I don't then I'm afraid I won't be able to stay as angry as I am," she grits her teeth. "I don't know if I will stay with him. I love him Tessa." She looks at Smith again, "and I love that little boy, even if he only talks to me once a week," a weak laugh falls from her painted lips, "I wish I could say that I'm surprised by this but honestly, I'm not."
"Why aren't you?" I ask without thinking.
"They have history, a deep history that I'm just not sure if I can compete with," hurt fills her voice and I blink back my tears.
"History?"
"Yes. I'm going to tell you something, Christian told me to wait until he can tell Hardin but I think you should know,"
Hardin's POV.
Gabriel's is a pretentious bar set in the middle of the wealthiest district in Hampstead. Of course he would want to meet here. I park my rental car in the lot and walk toward the door. When I step inside the stuffy place, my eyes scan the room. Seated at a round table in the corner of the bar is Christian, Robin, Max, and that blonde. Why the fuck is she here? And more importantly, why is Robin sitting next to Vance as if he wasn't about to fuck his fiancé less than twelve hours ago?
Everyone in the place is wearing a damn tie, except me. I hope I trailed dirt in behind me. A hostess tries to speak to me as I pass her but I brush her off.
"Hardin, nice to see you." Max stands first and puts his hand out to shake. I ignore him.
"You wanted to talk, let's talk." I snap at Christian when I reach the table. He brings his glass, full of liquor to his mouth and gulps it down before standing.
Robin's eyes stay focused on the table and it takes all of my strength not to tell him how fucking stupid he is. He's always been a quiet man, the dependable neighbor that my mum would always pester for milk or eggs when she ran out.
"How is your trip so far?" Stacey's voice rings. I look at her, dumbfounded that she would even speak to me right now.
"Where's your wife?" I glare at Max. Next to him, Stacey's smile drops from her overly made up face.
"Hardin," Christian dares to try to shut me up.
"Fuck off," I bark at him. He stands to his feet. "I'm sure they miss him while he's here parading around with a skan-"
"Enough," Christian's voice interrupts me and gently grabs me by the arm in an attempt to get me away from the table.
"Don't you fucking tell me enough," I jerk my arm from his grip.
"That's no way to treat your father now is it?" Stacey's voice cuts through my growing anger.
"What?" How fucking stupid is she? My father is back in Washington.
"You heard me. You should really treat your father with more respect." Her smile grows.
"Sasha!" Max grips her thin arm aggressively, nearly dragging her to her feet.
"Woops, was I not supposed to say that?" Her laugh rings through the bar. She's a fucking idiot.
Confused, I look at Robin who has no color left in his round face. He looks like he may pass out at any moment. My mind begins to shift and I look over at Vance who is equally pale and pacing back and forth. Why are they being so dramatic over some dumb chick's random nonsense?
"You shut up, now." Max removes the woman from the table and pulls her through the bar.
"She wasn't supposed to-" Vance runs his hand over his hair. "I was going to-" He balls his fists at his sides.
She wasn't supposed to what? Make some stupid comment about Christian being my father when clearly my father is.. I look at the panicked man in front of me, his green eyes on fire, and his frantic fingers are running over his hair. It takes me a moment to realize that my hands are doing the exact same thing.
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