Songs for this chapter are:
Secrets- One Republic
Ours- Taylor Swift
Through the dark- One Direction
When my alarm sounds at seven, I have to force myself out of bed. I barely slept, I was tossing and turning all night. The last time I checked the time it was three in the morning and I wasn't sure if I had gotten any sleep or if I had been awake the entire time.
Harry is asleep, his crossed arms rest on his stomach. He didn't hold me last night, not once. The only contact I was given consisted of his hands reaching for me in his sleep, just to make sure I was still there before they went back to his stomach. His mood change is somewhat expected, I know he didn't want to come here for the wedding but his high level of anxiety doesn't make much sense to me, especially since he refuses to talk to me about it. I would like to ask him just how he expected to deal with me moving here with him if he doesn't want me here for one weekend.
I brush my hand over his forehead, pushing the mass of hair away, and move down to touch the light stubble scattered across his jawline. His eyelids flutter and I quickly pull away and stand to my feet. I don't want to wake him, his sleep wasn't the least bit peaceful either. I wish I knew what was haunting him, I wish he wouldn't have closed down so hastily. He revealed everything to me in the letter that he wrote me, and while most of the things inside were terrible mistakes of his, I have dealt with them and moved on. Nothing he has done in his past will cause any damage to our future. He needs to know this, he has to know this or it will never work.
The bathroom isn't hard to find and I wait patiently for the water to turn from brown to clear. The shower is loud and the water pressure is very hard, almost painful, but it does wonders working away the gathered tension on my back and shoulder muscles.
I'm fully dressed in a pair of jeans and a crème colored tank top, I hesitate before pulling on floral printed lace sweater. This sweater doesn't have buttons so Harry can't demand that I do so and he's lucky I'm not wearing the tank top alone. It's spring now and here in Central London, it feels like it.
Anne didn't give me a specific time for our plans today, so I head downstairs to make a pot of coffee. An hour later, I return upstairs to grab my nook to occupy myself. Harry has turned over onto his back and his face is set into a full frown. Without disturbing him, I quickly leave the room and find my way back to the kitchen table. Another hour passes and I'm relieved when Anne comes walking through the back door. Her brown hair is pulled back, just like mine, in a low bun and she's dressed in, what else, a track suit.
"I was hoping you would be awake, I wanted to give you some time to sleep in after such a long day yesterday," she smiles, "I'm ready when you are,"
I glance toward the narrow staircase one last time, hoping that Harry will stroll down it with a smile and a kiss goodbye, that doesn't happen. I grab my purse and follow Anne out of the backdoor.
When I reach for Tessa, she isn't in the bed. I don't know what time it is but the sun is too damn bright, pouring through the uncovered windows, trying to force me awake. I slept like shit all night and Tessa kept tossing and turning in her sleep. I was awake most of the night, keeping my distance from her restless body. I need to get a grip before I ruin this entire weekend for her, I just can't seem to shake my paranoia. Not after my mum having the nerve to bring Tessa around Susan Kingsley along.
I don't bother changing my clothes, I brush my teeth and toss some water into my hair. Tessa has taken a shower already, her toiletry bag is tucked away neatly in the otherwise empty cabinet.