Songs for this chapter are:
Over my head- The Fray
1,0000 years - Liza Anne
Something great- One Direction
Cool my heart- Hanna Baummann
The drive was just about as terrible as I had anticipated. The road never seemed to want to end, each yellow line was one of his smiles, one of his scowls. Every endless line of traffic seemed to be mocking every mistake I've made and each car on the road was yet another stranger, another person with their own problems. I felt alone, too alone, in my small car as I drove further and further from where I wanted to be.
Am I foolish to even fight this? Could I possibly be strong enough to fight the current this time? Do I even want to?
What are the chances that this time, out of the what feels like hundreds of times, what makes this time so different? Is he just using the words I've always wanted to hear out of desperation because he knows how detached I've become?
My head feels like a one thousand page novel full of deep thoughts, mindless chatter, and a bunch of crap questions that I don't know the answer to.
When I pulled up in front of Kimberly and Christian's house only minutes ago, the tension in my shoulders was nearly unbearable. I could literally feel the muscles underneath my skin tightening to the point of snapping and as I stand in the living room now, waiting for Kimberly to join Smith and I, that tension continues to grow.
"She said she will be down when she's done rubbing my dad's leg." Smith crinkles his nose in disgust.
I can't help but laugh at the dimpled little boy, "Okay. Thank you." I tell him. He sits down on the edge of the couch without a word.
He focuses on the gadget in his hand and I focus on him. Harry's little brother. It's such a weird idea that this adorable little boy who seems to dislike me for some reason, has been Harry's biological brother all along. It makes sense in a way, he was always so curious about Harry and seemed to enjoy his company when most people don't.
"Where's your Harry?" He asks me, catching me staring at him. Your Harry. It feels like every single time he asks that question my Harry is far away. Further than ever, this time.
"He's-" I begin as Kimberly enters the room, barreling toward me with outstretched arms. She would be wearing heels and makeup. I suppose the outside world is still revolving even though mine has stopped.
"Tessa!" She screeches, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and squeezing so tight that I let out a cough.
"Gah! It's been too long!" She squeezes one more time before pulling back and dragging me by the arm into the kitchen.
"How is everything?" I ask her and climb up the same stool I always seem to sit at. She stands in front of the breakfast bar and runs her hands through her short blonde hair, pulling it back and tying it into a messy bun on top of her head.
"Well, we all survived that damned trip to London. Barely, but we did." She grimaces and I do the same.
"How is Mr.Vance's leg?"
"Mr Vance?" She laughs. "No more of that. I'd say you can go ahead and say Christian, or Vance." She laughs. "His leg is healing, luckily the fire mostly caught his clothes, not skin." A frown takes over her face and a shiver rakes her shoulders.
"How are you? I'm sorry to hear about your dad, I should have called you more. I've just been busy and trying to figure all this out." Kimberly reaches across the granite and places her hand over mine.