As soon as the door closes and Zayn is gone, for good, I close my eyes and lay my head back against the chair. I don't know what I'm feeling, all of my emotions are jumbled, swirling around me in a cloud of confusion. Part of me feels relived to end this back and forth between Zayn and I, but another, smaller part feels a significant loss. He's the only one who has been there for me constantly out of Harry's "friends" and it's strange to realize that I'll never see him again. The tears burn, unwelcomed, down my cheeks as I try to collect myself. I shouldn't be crying over this. I should be happy that I can finally close the book on Zayn, tuck it away, leaving it only to collect dust, never to be opened again.
The door clicks and I snap my eyes open, wiping viciously at the tears. I'm horrified and embarrassed when my vision clears to see the familiar red and black plaid sweatshirt standing in the doorway.
"I'm.." I can't come up with an excuse fast enough.
"I," he can't seem to find the words either.
"I'm sorry," he mutters and walks back out of the room, leaving me even more upset.
It's not that I want to be with him, it's not that I love him, it's not that I would ever choose him over Harry, it's just that I do care for him and I wish things would have played out differently. I wish I would have kept our relationship strictly platonic, maybe then I wouldn't have to completely cut him out of my life.
I don't know why he came back in here but I'm glad he left before he could say anything to confuse me or hurt him further.
My office phone rings and I clear my throat before answering, "Hello," I sound pathetic.
"Did he leave?" Harry's voice carries through.
"Are you crying?"
"I'm just," I begin.
"You're crying aren't you?"
"I'm just a little upset,"
"Why?" He questions.
"Because he was my friend, I don't know why I'm upset. Don't be upset with me," the last thing I want to do is fight with Harry.
"What am I supposed to think about you crying over him?"
"I don't know, I know I shouldn't have let him come in but I had to make it clear that him and I will never be more than friends," the tears are no longer falling but my voice is hideous.
"That's what happened? You told him you only want me?"
"Yes, that's what happened,"
"Then why are you so upset? Do you want to be with him?"
"No! That's why I told him I didn't. I just feel bad for hurting him, that's why I'm upset."
"Yes, I'm sure." I sigh.
"So it's done then? No more surprise visits from him, no more of this sneaking around shit?"
"Yes, it's done. I swear."
He takes a deep breath and lets out an exasperated sigh, "Okay then, I don't want to hear anything else about him and I mean it this time."
"Okay," I agree, surprised by his calm reaction. If Molly had visited Harry I know that I would have overreacted.
"Okay then, I'll see you when you get home. I love you Tessa,"
"I love you," I hang up.
That went much better than I had expected, I don't know if I should be relieved or slightly worried. I decide to go with relieved and finish the last of my time at Vance as peacefully as possible.