By the time I make it to my car I already wish I would have stayed in the bedroom with Harry and his playful mood, but I have too much to do. I have to call the woman back about the apartment in Seattle, get a few things for the trip with Harry's family, and most importantly clear my head about Seattle. Harry offering me marriage nearly swayed me but I know he won't mean it tomorrow. I'm trying desperately not to overthink his words and let them make me think any differently but it's much harder than I expected.
"I'll marry you if you choose me,"
I was surprised, shocked really, when the words were spoken. He seemed so calm, his voice so neutral, as if he were announcing what we were having for dinner. I know better though, I know he drank too much and he's getting desperate. The liquor and his desperation to keep me from Seattle are the only solidity behind his offer. Even so, I can't stop replaying them in my mind. Pathetic, I know but I'm okay with that.
By the time I get to Target I still haven't called the woman, Sandra I believe her name is, to discuss the apartment. It's a nice apartment, not nearly as big as my apartment with Harry, but it's nice enough and I can afford to live there on my own. It doesn't have bookshelves for walls, or the brick wall that I have grown to love so much, but it will be fine enough.
I will call her after I'm finished here, I promise myself. I'm ready for this, for Seattle. I'm ready to take this step for my future, I've been waiting for this since I can remember.
My basket is full of random things, none of which I actually need for the trip, but things for the apartment. Tablets for the dishwasher, toothpaste, a new dust pan. Why am I buying this if I'm moving anyway? I put the dust pan back, along with some colorful socks I tossed in there for no apparent reason. If Harry doesn't come along, I will need to start over and buy all new dishes, all new everything. I'm grateful that the apartment comes furnished, that's a huge relief and crosses out at least a dozen things I'd have to do before moving in.
After Target I'm not really sure what to do with myself. I don't want to go back to the apartment with Harry and my father but I don't have anywhere else to go. I'm going to be spending three days with Liam, Ken, and Karen so I don't want to go to their house and bother them. I really need friends. Or one friend at least. I could call Kimberly but she's probably busy planning their move and a wedding. Lucky girl. Not because of the wedding, but because Christian is going with her to Seattle, granted it's his company and all but honestly I can tell by the way he looks at her, he'd follow her anywhere.
While scrolling through my phone to call Sandra, I almost tap Steph's name on the screen. I wonder what she's doing? Harry would probably lose his mind if I called her to hang out. Then again, he's in no position to tell me what to do, he is completely belligerent in the middle of the day.
I'm calling her, I decide while the phone rings in my ear.
"Tessa! What are you up to?" She says loudly, trying to talk over the voices in the background.
"Nothing, I'm sitting in the parking lot at Target,"
"Oh, fun shit then?" she laughs.
"Not really, what are you doing?"
"Nothing, going to lunch with my friend."
"Oh, okay. Well call me later or something," I say.
"You can meet us there if you want, we're going to Applebee's right outside campus." Applebee's reminds me of Zayn but the food was incredible and I haven't eaten yet today.
"Okay, I'll come. You're sure that's okay?" I ask.
"Yes! Get your ass over here. We'll be there in about fifteen minutes or so," I hear a car door shut in the background.