Songs for this chapter are:
Say Something- A great big world and Christina Aguilera
Strong- One Direction
Cold Coffee- Ed Sheeran
Tessa's POV.
"What do you want to watch?" I ask Smith. He shrugs and looks up at Hardin.
"Okay, what about a game, do you want to play a game or something?" I suggest when neither of them speak.
"No." Smith replies.
"I think he just wants to go back to his room and do whatever the hell he was doing before Kim dragged him out here." Hardin says and Smith nods in agreement.
"Well.. okay then. You can go back to your room. We will be out here in the living room if you need anything. I'll be ordering dinner soon." I tell him.
"Can you come too, Hardin?" Smith asks him in the softest tone possible.
"To your room? No, I'm good."
I shoot a glare toward Hardin and he shrugs his shoulders, "What?"
Without a word, Smith climbs down from the couch and walks over to the stairs.
"Go to his room with him." I whisper to Hardin.
"I don't want to go to his room, I want to be out here with you." He whines.
As much as I want Hardin to stay with me, I feel bad for Smith.
"Come on, he is lonely." I nod to the blonde boy as he slowly ascends the steps.
"Damn it, fine," Hardin groans and sulks across the living room to follow Smith up the stairs.
I'm still a little bothered by Hardin's reaction to our kiss in the bedroom. I thought it was going great-better than great, yet he abruptly ended it by climbing off me so quickly that I thought he had been injured. Maybe after being away from me for so long he doesn't feel the same? Maybe he's not as attracted to me.. sexually, as he once was. I know that I'm dressed in baggy pajamas but he never had a problem with them before. I can't seem to come to any reasonable conclusion as to why he wouldn't want to kiss me, so instead of letting my imagination run wild, I grab the small stack of brochures that Kimberly left for us to decide from for dinner. I decide on pizza, and grab my phone before going into the laundry room. I place Hardin's clothes in the dryer and sit on the bench in the center of the room while watching the machine turn around and around.
Hardin's POV.
"What do you want to do?" I ask the kid.
"I don't know."
"Then why did you want me to come up here?"
"I don't know."
"Okay.. well this isn't going anywhere.." I trail off.
"Are you living here now too, with your girl?" Smith asks. He walks around his bedroom and I take a mental inventory of all the shit this kid has. He's spoiled as hell.
"No, only visiting for tonight."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to live here." I do though. Sort of.
"Why? You don't like her?" He questions.
"Yes. I like her," I laugh. "I just.. I don't know. Why do you always ask me so many questions?"
"I don't know," He simply responds and pulls some sort of train set from under his bed.
"Don't you have any friends you can play with?" I ask the boy.
"No."
"Why not?"
He shrugs and disconnects a piece of the train track. His small hands disconnect another piece and he switches the metal out with two new tracks from a box at the end of his bed.
"I'm sure you can make friends at school."
"No, I can't."
"Are the kids assholes to you or something?" I ask him. I don't bother to correct my language. Vance has the mouth of a fucking sailor and I'm sure his son has heard worse.
"Sometimes." He twists the edges of some type of wire and connects a small train cart to it. The wire sparks in his hands but he doesn't flinch. Within seconds, the train begins to move around the track at a much faster speed.
"What was that, that you just did?" I ask him.
"Made it go faster, it was really slow."
"No wonder you don't have any friends." I laugh, he doesn't.
Shit.
"I just meant because you're so smart, sometimes smart people are terrible at being social and no one likes them. Like Tessa for example, she's too smart sometimes and it makes people feel uncomfortable."
"Okay.." he stares at me and I can't help but feel bad for him. I'm shit at giving advice and I don't know why I even tried.
I know what it's like to grow up not having any friends. As a child, I never had a single one until I hit puberty and started drinking, smoking pot, and hanging out with shitty people. They weren't actually my friends anyway, they only liked me because I did whatever the fuck I wanted to do and that was "cool" to them. They didn't enjoy reading the way that I did, they only enjoyed partying.
I was always that angry little boy in the corner who no one talked to because they were afraid of me. To this day, that hasn't changed much until I met Tessa, she's the only person who genuinely gives a fuck about me. She is afraid of me sometimes too though. Images from Christmas and red wine splattered against her white cardigan bring my thoughts to life. I suspect that Landon cares for me too, I guess, but that's still a weird situation with him and I'm pretty sure he only cares because of Tessa. She tends to have that power over people. Me especially.
Tessa's POV.
Smith has fallen asleep and Hardin has spoken less than ten words to me in the last hour. He has kept his distance and I can't help but find myself comparing his behavior to the way he has been during our phone calls this week. A small part of me wishes we were on the phone now instead of sitting across the room from one another.
"I have to piss," he announces as I flip through the channels on the flat screen television.
Moments later Kimberly and Christian walk through the door followed by another couple. A tall blonde woman dressed in a short golden dress saunter across the hardwood. With one glance at her sky-high heels, my ankles ache for her. She gives me a smile and a wave as she follows Kimberly through the foyer and into the living room. Hardin appears in the hallway but doesn't make a move to enter the room.
"Sasha, this is Tessa and Hardin," Kimberly kindly introduces us.
"It's nice to meet you." I smile, hating that I hadn't worn better looking pajamas.
"You too," Sasha responds, looking directly to Hardin. He stares at her for a moment but doesn't say a word.
"Sasha is a friend of Christian's business partner." Kimberly informs us, well me, because Hardin isn't paying any attention, his eyes are securely focused on the large flat screen hanging on the wall.
"And this is Max, he does business with Christian." The man steps into the light and when I finally take in the features of the man, I'm surprised to see Lillian's father, Ken's friend from college.
"Max," I repeat, discreetly staring at Hardin to draw his attention to the familiar face in front of us.
"You two have met before?" Kimberly catches on.
"Only once, at Sandpoint." I respond. Max's cold features soften slightly at my reminder, his dark eyes are intimidating and he has an overpowering presence that claims the room as his immediately.
"Ah, yes. You're Hardin Style's friend." He draws the word out with a smile.
"Actually she's-" Hardin finally joins us in the living room and I watch in annoyance as Sasha's eyes follow Hardin's every movement as he crosses the room. She adjusts the golden straps of her dress and licks her lips. I couldn't be more irritated with myself for wearing these damn cloud pants. His eyes flicker to her, and I watch as they slowly drag down her body, taking in her tall yet curvy frame, before his attention turns to Max.
"She's not just a friend." Hardin finishes just as Max's hand darts out for a quick and awkward handshake.
"I see." The older man smiles. "Well, either way she's a lovely girl.
"She is." Hardin mutters. I can sense his annoyance at Max's presence.
I try not to stare at Sasha as she introduces herself to Hardin for the second time. He gives her a brisk nod and sits down on the couch. A pang of disappointment hits me when he leaves a large space between us. Why do I feel so clingy all of the sudden? Is it because Sasha is so beautiful, or is it the way that Hardin's eyes traveled down her body?
"How is Lillian?" I ask to break the awkward tension and aching jealousy stirring inside of me.
"She's fine, she's been busy with University." He coolly states. Kimberly offers him a glass of brown liquor and he gulps half of it down within seconds.
"Bourbon?" He raises his brow to Christian.
"Only the best." Christian responds with a grin.
"You should call Lillian up sometime, you would be a good influence on her." Max's eyes move to Hardin.
"I don't think she needs any influence." I retort. I didn't care much for Lillian, due to my jealousy, but I feel a strong need to defend her against her father. I can't help but feel he's referring to her sexual orientation and that bothers me immensely.
"Oh, I'd beg to differ." He smiles a bleached smile and I sink back against the couch cushions.
This whole exchange has been uncomfortable. I hadn't expected to see Max ever again and now that I know he's the man who Kimberly was referring to earlier, I can't help but look at Christian a little differently. Max is charming and rich but I can't ignore the spark of darkness behind his deep brown eyes and the hidden malice in his wide smile. Why is he here with Sasha anyway? He's a married man and by the short cut of Sasha's dress and the way she smiles at him, she doesn't appear to be only a "friend" of his.
"Lillian is our regular sitter." Kimberly chimes in.
"Small world," Hardin rolls his eyes to appear as uninterested as possible but I know him well enough to know he's fuming.
"It is, isn't it?" Max grins at Hardin. His accent is thicker than Hardin and Christian's and not nearly as pleasant to listen to.
"Tessa, go upstairs." Hardin quietly instructs. Max and Kimberly both look at him, making it known that they heard his request.
This situation is even more awkward now than it was only seconds ago. Now that the two of them heard Hardin tell me to go upstairs, I definitely don't want to oblige. However, I know Hardin and he will make sure I get upstairs, whether he has to carry me or not.
"I think she should stay and have some wine, or this bourbon, it's aged and very good." Kimberly, being the perfect hostess that she is, stands to her feet and pads over to the counter. "Which will it be?" She smiles, clearly defying Hardin.
He glares at her and presses his lips into a hard line. I want to laugh or leave the room, preferably both, but Max is watching our exchange with more curiosity than necessary and I stay put.
"Wine, only one glass." I tell her. She pours the white liquid into a long stemmed glass and brings it to me.
The space between Hardin and I seems to grow by the second and I can practically see the tension rolling off of him in small waves. I take a small sip of the brisk wine and Max finally looks away from me.
Hardin stares at the wall. His mood has drastically changed since we kissed and that really worries me. I thought he would be excited, happy, and most of all, I thought he would be turned on and want more, the way he always does, the way I did and still do.
"Do you two live here, in Seattle?" Sasha asks Hardin.
I take another drink.
I've been drinking a lot lately.
"I don't." He doesn't look at her.
"Hmm, where is it that you live?"
"Not in Seattle." If this were under any other circumstance, I would scold him for being so rude but right now, I'm happy that he is. Sasha frowns and leans against Max. He looks at me before gently guiding her the opposite way.
I already know you're having an affair, don't play coy now.
Sasha stays quiet and Kimberly looks to Christian for help to turn the conversation around. "Well," Mr. Vance clears his throat. "The club opening was great, who knew we would have such a turnout?"
"It was brilliant, that band.. I can't recall the name, but the last one.." Max begins.
"The Reford something..?" Kimberly suggests.
"No, that wasn't it, love," Christian chuckles and Kimberly sits on his lap.
"Well, whoever they are, we need to get them booked for next weekend too." Max says.
Within minutes of their business talk, Hardin stands to his feet and disappears down the hallway..
"He's usually more polite." Kimberly tells Sasha.
"No he's not. But we wouldn't have him any other way." Christian laughs and the rest of the room joins in.
"I'm going to.." I begin.
"Go on," Kimberly waves me off and I'm relieved not to have to say goodnight to the new guests.
By the time I reach the end of the hallway, Hardin is already in the guest room and has closed the door. I hesitate outside of the room for a moment before turning the knob and pushing it open. When I finally enter, Hardin is pacing back and forth across the expanse of the room.
"Is something wrong?" I ask him.
"No,"
"Are you sure, because you've been weird ever since-"
"I'm fine. I'm just irritated." He sits down at the edge of the bed and rubs his palms against the knees of his jeans.
I love his new jeans, I recognize them from our.. his, closet at the apartment. Anne got them for him for Christmas and he hated them.
"Why are you irritated?" I quietly ask, making sure not to let my voice travel down the hall and into the living room.
"Max is a prick." Hardin booms. He clearly doesn't care if he's heard.
Laughing, I whisper, "Yeah, he is."
"He was just asking for me to lose my shit when he was being rude to you." He breaths.
"He wasn't being rude to me specifically, I think that's just his personality."
"Well, either way, I don't fucking like him and it's annoying that we have one night together and it's with a full house."
"I know." I agree. I hope Max and his mistress leave soon. "I hate that he's cheating on his wife, Denise seemed so nice."
"I don't give a shit about that really, I just don't like him." Hardin says.
"Don't you feel bad for her? Even a little bit? I'm sure she has no idea about Sasha,"
"I'm sure she knows, Max is an asshole. She can't be that stupid."
I picture Max's wife sitting in a mansion in the hills somewhere, wearing an expensive dress, full hair and makeup, waiting for her unfaithful husband to return home. The thought saddens me and I secretly hope she too, has her own "friend".
"Either way, it's still wrong." I defend.
"Yeah, but that's marriage for you. Cheating, lying, so on and so on,"
"That's not always the case,"
"Nine times out of ten," he shrugs. I hate the way he views marriage so negatively.
"No, that's not true."
"You're going to argue with me over marriage, again? I don't think we should go there." He warns, his eyes meet mine and he takes a deep breath.
I want to battle this out with him, tell him that he is wrong and change his view on marriage, but I know it's pointless. Hardin has had his mind made up about marriage since before he met me.
"You're right, we shouldn't talk about this. Especially when you're already wound up."
"I'm not wound up," He scoffs.
"Okay," I roll my eyes at him and he stands to his feet.
"Stop rolling your eyes at me," he snaps, "if I'm already irritated do you really think I want you giving me more attitude?" Hardin takes a step toward me and my insides tighten. His eyes are hard and dark, his hands are clenched into tight fists at his sides.
I can't help but to roll my eyes, again.
"Tessa.." he growls.
I stand still, unmoving and unwavering. He has no reason to be short with me. Max being a pompous jerk is in no way my fault. This is a typical Hardin Scott tantrum and I'm not caving this time.
"You're only here for one night, remember?" I remind him and watch as his anger slips from his features.
He continues to glare at me, expecting a fight. I'm not giving him one.
"Damn it, you're right," he finally sighs. I'm impressed at the quick shift in his mood and just how easy it was to bring him down from his annoyance.
"Come here," he opens his arms, the way Hardin always does and I walk into them, the way I haven't in so long.
He doesn't say anything, he only wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on top of my head. His scent is overpowering, his breathing has slowed since his fit, and he is warm, so warm. Seconds, or maybe minutes, later he pulls away from me and presses his thumb under my chin.
"I'm sorry for being a dick. I don't know what my problem was, I think Max just pisses me off, or maybe it was the babysitting, or that obnoxious Stacey. I don't know, but I'm sorry."
"Sasha," I correct him with a smile. The green eyes monster on my shoulder slowly fades away.
"Same thing, a whore is a whore."
"Hardin!" I gently swat at his chest. The muscles underneath feel harder than I remember. He has been working out daily.. briefly my thoughts travel to what he looks like under his black t-shirt, has his body changed since I've last laid eyes on it?
"Just saying," he shrugs and brushes his fingertips over the soft line of my jaw. "I really am sorry, I don't want to ruin my time with you. Forgive me?" He says.
Hardin's cheeks flush, and his voice is so soft, and his fingertips are gently scraping against my skin and feels so good. My eyes flutter closed as he traces the outline of my lips with his thumb.
"Answer me," he softly presses.
"I always do, don't I?" I breath. I rest both of my hands on his hips, my thumbs press into the bare skin under his t-shirt.
I expect to feel his lips on mine, but when I open my eyes, his guard has been drawn up.
"Is something wrong?" I hesitate.
"I had.. " he stops midsentence. "I have a headache." he says.
"Do you need something? I can ask Kim if-"
"No, I'm good. I think I just need to sleep or something. It's late anyway." My heart sinks at his words. What is going on with him and why doesn't he want to kiss me again? Only moments ago he told me that he didn't want to ruin our short time together yet now he wants to go to bed?
I sigh, "Okay," I'm not going to beg Hardin to stay awake and spend time with me. I'm embarrassed by his rejection and honestly I do need a moment alone without his minty breath fanning across my cheeks and his green eyes piercing into mine, clouding the smidge of judgment I have left.
Regardless of my thoughts, I still wait for him to ask if he can sleep in my room or vise versa, but he doesn't. "I'll see you in the morning then?" He asks.
"Yeah, sure." I leave the room before I embarrass myself further and lock my bedroom door behind me.
Pathetically, I travel back across the room and unlock the door, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he will come through it.
Hardin's POV.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I have been containing my anger, for the most part at least, all week. It's becoming harder and harder to do so when Zed keeps creeping his way into my head and it's driving me fucking mad. I know I'm bat shit crazy for obsessing over this and I have no doubt Tessa would agree if I told her why I'm so wound up. It's not only Zed, it's Max and his mocking tone with Tessa, his whore and her gawking at me, Kimberly challenging me when I told Tessa to go upstairs, it's all one big fucking annoyance and my control is slipping. I can feel my nerves being tightened to the brink of snapping and the only way to resolve them is to punch something or bury myself into Tessa and forget about everything but I can't even fucking do that. I should be sinking myself inside of her right now, repeatedly, until the god damned sun comes up, to make up for the last week of hell without her touch.
Leave it to me to fuck this night up, I'm sure she expected me to mess up anyway. It's what I do without fail, every time.
I lay down on the bed and stare back and forth between the ceiling and the clock for two hours. It's now two in the morning. The annoying voices from the living room halted over an hour ago and I was glad to hear Max and Stacey's goodbyes and the sound of Vance and Kim's feet as they walked up the stairs.
From across the hall, I feel it. I feel the pull, the fucking magnetic charge, drawing me to Tessa and begging me to be at her side. Ignoring the overwhelming electricity, I climb out of the bed and change into the clean black shorts that Tessa has folded and placed on the dresser. I know Vance has a gym in this massive house somewhere and I need to find it before I lose what's left of my fucking mind.
(hey guys! I hope everyone had an amazing thanksgiving! (my American readers) Mine was great and long! hah, I went "brown Thursday" and "black Friday" shopping and it was madness! What did you do? Please vote and comment<3 ily all! xo