Songs for this chapter are:
Shiver- Coldplay
Yellow- Coldplay
Hardin's POV.
"Hardin? Are you okay?" Tessa's voice is thick with sleep.
"I.. I don't know." I croak. My bare feet have me pacing back and forth across the floor, furious fingers tug at my sweat soaked hair.
"What's wrong?"
"Are you in bed?" I ask her.
"Yes, it's three in the morning. Where else would I be? What's wrong, Hardin?"
"I just can't sleep, that's all."
"Oh," she lets out a long breath of relief, "I was worried for a second."
"Did you talk to Zed again?" I ask her.
"What? No, I haven't talked to him since I told you about him wanting to visit."
"Call him and tell him that he can't." I sound like a psychopath but I don't give a shit.
"I'm not calling him this late, what has gotten into you?"
"Nothing Tessa. Never mind." I snap and hang up the phone. She tries to call me back but I press down the power button until the screen turns black.
Tessa's POV.
"You're not staying in your pajamas the entire day again, are you?" Kimberly questions. I spoon a mouthful of granola into my mouth so I'm unable to answer her.
That's exactly what I plan to do today. I didn't sleep well after Hardin's phone call in the middle of the night. He has since sent a few text messages, none of them mentioning his odd behavior last night. I want to call him but I haven't spent very much time with Kimberly since I've arrived. Most of my free time has been spent talking on the phone with Hardin or doing my first round of assignments for my new classes. The least I can do is chat with her over brunch.
"You never wear clothes." Smith chimes in and I nearly spit the granola out onto the table.
"Yes I do." I reply, my mouth still full.
"You're right Smith, she doesn't." Kimberly cackles and I roll my eyes at her. Christian enters the room and places a kiss against her temple, Smith smiles at his father and soon to be step mother before looking back to me.
"Pajamas are more comfortable." I tell him and he nods in agreement. His green eyes look down at himself, taking in his Spiderman printed pajamas.
"Do you like Spiderman?" I ask, wanting to start conversation.
"No." His small fingers pick at his toast.
"No? You're wearing those," I point to his clothing.
"She bought them," he nods toward Kim. "Don't tell her I hate them, she will cry." He whsipers and I laugh. Smith is five going on twenty.
"I won't." I promise him and we finish the meal in comfortable silence.
.
Hardin's POV.
"What was so urgent that I had to come here in the freezing rain?" Landon asks. He shakes the moisture from his hat onto the floor and rests his closed umbrella against the wall.
"Him," I wave toward Richard spread out on the couch asleep.
"Who is that? Wait.. Is that Tessa's father?" He gapes.
"No, just another random, homeless fuck that I let sleep on my couch." I roll my eyes at his question.
"Why is he here? Does Tessa know?"
"Yes, she knows. However, she doesn't know that he's been going through withdraws for the last five days and vomiting all over the damn place."
Richard groans in his sleep, I grab Landon by the sleeve of his plaid shirt and pull him into the hallway.
"Withdraws? From drugs?"
"Yes, and alcohol."
"He hasn't found your liquor yet? Or has he already consumed it?" Landon raises his brow at me.
"I don't have any liquor here anymore, dick."
He peers back around the corner to the sleeping man perched on my couch, "I still don't see how I fit into this."
"You're going to babysit him." I inform him and he takes a step back.
"No way!" He tries to whisper but it comes out much more like a hushed scream.
"Chill," I pat his shoulder. "It's only for one night."
"No way, I'm not staying here with him. I don't even know him."
"Neither do I." I counter.
"You know him better than I do, he would be your father-in-law someday if you weren't such an idiot." Landon's words hit me harder than they should. Father-in-law? The title sounds odd when repeated in my mind.
"I want to see her." I plea.
"Who Tess?"
"Yes, Tessa." I correct him. "Who else?"
"Why can't she come here? I don't think it's a good idea for me to stay with him."
"Don't be such a pussy, he's not dangerous or anything." I tell my step-brother. "Just make sure he doesn't leave the apartment. There is plenty of food and water here."
"He's not a dog." Landon remarks.
"Might as well be at this point." I rub my temples in annoyance. "Are you going to help me or not?"
He glares at me, "For Tessa?" I use her against him, knowing it will work.
"One night only." He agrees and I turn from him to hide my smile.
I don't know how Tessa will react to me breaking our "space" agreement, but it's only one night. One short night with her is what I need right now. I need her. Phone calls and text messages are sufficient enough during the week but I need to see her after my nightmare. I need to confirm that her body holds no marks from anyone other than myself.
"Does she know you're coming?" Landon asks me.
I search the floor for a t-shirt to pull over my bare torso. "She will once I arrive, won't she?"
"She told me about you two on the phone."
She did? "Why would she tell you about us getting off over the phone?" I wonder.
"Woah! What! I wasn't...Oh God." He groans. He tries to cover his ears but it's too late. His cheeks are a deep red and my laughter fills the bedroom.
"You have to be more specific when it comes to Tessa and I, don't you know that by now?" I grin, relishing in the memory of her moans coming through the line.
"Apparently I don't." He scowls. "I meant that you two have been talking on the phone."
"And.."
"Does she seem happy to you?" He asks me and my smile disappears.
"Why do you ask?"
"I'm just wondering, I'm a little worried about her. She doesn't seem as excited and happy over Seattle as I assumed she would." Worry spreads over his features.
"I don't know," I rub my hand over the back of my neck, "she doesn't sound happy really but I can't tell if that's because I'm an asshole or if she doesn't like Seattle as much as she thought she would." I answer truthfully.
"I hope it's the first. I want her to be happy there." Landon says.
"So do I, sort of." I remark and he kicks a dirty pair of black jeans out from under his foot.
"I was going to wear those." I snap and bend down to grab the dirty jeans.
"Don't you have any clean clothes?"
"Not at the moment."
"Have you done any laundry at all since she left?"
"Yes.." I lie.
"Doesn't look like it." He points to the stain on my black t-shirt, mustard maybe?
"Shit." I pull the shirt back off and toss it onto the floor. "I don't have shit to wear." I pull out the bottom drawer of the dresser and let out a relieved breath when I spot a stack of clean black t-shirts in the back of the drawer.
"What about these?" Landon points to a dark of dark blue jeans hanging in the closet.
"No."
"Why not? You never wear anything other than black jeans."
"Exactly." I retort.
"Well the only pair of pants you wear are dirty so.."
"I have five pair, they just happen to be the same exact style." I correct him and he ignores me.
With a huff, I reach past him into the closet and pull the jeans off of the hanger. I hate these fucking jeans, my mum bought them for me for Christmas and I vowed to never wear them, yet here I am pulling them up my legs.
"They are a little..tight." Landon bites down on his bottom lip to keep from laughing.
"Fuck off." I raise my middle finger to him and finish shoving shit into my bag.
Twenty minutes later Richard is still asleep, Landon is still making obnoxious remarks about my fucking jeans, and I'm ready to go see Tessa in Seattle.
"What should I tell him when he wakes up?"
"Whatever you want, it would be quite funny if you fucked with him for a little while. You could pretend you're me or that you don't know why he's there, he will be so confused." I laugh. Landon doesn't see the humor in my idea and he basically pushes me out of the door.
"Be careful driving, the roads are slick." He warns me.
"Gotcha." I hoist my bag over my shoulder and leave the apartment before Landon can make another mushy ass remark.
During the drive, I can't help but think about my nightmare. It was so clear, so fucking vivid. I could hear her moaning his name, I could even hear her nails running along his skin.
I turn the radio up to drown out my own thoughts but it doesn't work. I decide to think of her, of memories of ours to stop the images from haunting me, otherwise this will be the longest drive of my entire life.
"Look how cute those babies are," Tessa squealed while pointing to a stroller full of babies. Only two babies actually, but still.
"Yeah, yeah. So cute." I rolled my eyes and dragged her along through the store.
"They even have matching bows in their hair." She was smiling so big and her voice did that weird high pitched thing that women do when they are around small children.
"Yep," I continued to walk behind Tessa, down the narrow aisles at Conner's, while she searched for some specific cheese she needed to make our dinner that night.
"Admit that they were cute," she beamed up at me and I shook my head in defiance. "Come on Hardin, you know they were cute, just say it."
"They were cute.." I flatly responded and her mouth pressed into a hard line while she crossed her arms over her chest like a errant child.
"Maybe you're just one of those people who will only think their own kids are cute." She said and I watched as realization stole her smile. "If you ever wanted kids." She somberly added and I wanted to kiss away the frown on her beautiful face.
"Too bad I don't though." I proceeded to drill the statement into her head.
"I know." She then found the item she was so aptly searching for and dropped it into the basket that she forced me to carry around the store.
Her smile still had not returned by the time we were waiting in the check-out line. "Hey," I looked down and gently nudged with my elbow. When she looked up at me her eyes were dimmed and waiting for me to speak.
"I know we agreed not to talk about kids anymore.." I started,her eyes focused on the floor. "Hey," I repeated and sat the basket on the floor next to my boot. "Look at me," both of my hands covered her cheeks and I pressed my forehead against hers.
"It's okay, I wasn't thinking when I said that." She admitted with a shrug. I watched as she glanced around the small market, taking in our surroundings and I could practically see her wondering why I'm touching her this way in public.
"Well then, let's agree again not to bring up children. It does nothing but cause problems between us." I said and gave her a quick kiss to her lips, followed by another. My lips lingered on hers and her small hands pushed into the pockets of my jacket.
"I love you, Hardin." She said when Gloria, the grumpy cashier cleared her throat.
"I love you, Tess. I will love you enough that you won't need children." I promised her and she turned away from me to hide her frown.
As I continue to drive I begin to wonder, has their ever been a time in my life when I wasn't a selfish prick?
Tessa's POV.
"I just don't feel like going anywhere tonight." I tell Kimberly.
"You're in a funk Tessa, and as your friend and mentor it's my responsibility to get you out of it." She smiles.
"Mentor? Really?" I giggle along and she rolls her heavily shaded eyes.
"Okay, maybe not so much of a mentor, but friend." She corrects herself.
"I'm not in a funk, I just have a lot of coursework to do."
"You are nineteen girl, act like it! When I was nineteen, I was out all the time, I barely showed up for any of my classes, I dated boys, many, many, boys."
"Did you now?" Christian cuts in. He's unwrapping some sort of tape from around his hands.
"None as wonderful as you of course." Kim winks at him and he laughs.
"That's what I get for dating such a young woman, I have to compete with fresh memories of college aged men." He grins.
"I'm not that much younger than you."
"Twelve years." He points out and she rolls her eyes.
"Yes, but you're a young soul. Unlike Tessa here, who behaves as if she's forty."
"Sure honey," he tosses the used tape into the trash can, "now go on and enlighten the girl about how not to behave in university." He gives her one last smile and disappears, leaving her grinning from ear to ear.
"I love that man so much." She tells me and I nod because I know it's true.
"I really wanted you to come along with us, Christian and his partners just opened a new jazz club downtown. It's beautiful and you would have such an amazing time."
"He opened a jazz club?" I ask.
"He invested in it, so he didn't actually do any work." She whispers with a sly smile. "They have guest musicians on Saturdays, sort of an open mic type thing."
"Maybe next weekend?" I shrug, The last thing I want to do right now is get ready and go out to any type of club.
"Fine, next weekend. I'm holding you to that. Smith doesn't want to come either so his sitter will be here in a few hours."
"I can watch him." I offer. "I will be here anyway."
"You don't have to,"
"I know, but I want to."
"That would be great and so much easier. He doesn't like the sitter for some reason."
"He doesn't like me either." I laugh.
"True, but he talks to you more than he does most people." She looks down at the engagement ring on her finger and then up to Smith's school portrait hanging over the synthetic fireplace. "He's such a sweet boy, just very guarded." She quietly says. We are interrupted by the doorbell sounding through the room.
"Who the heck would be coming here in the middle of the afternoon?" Kimberly asks as if I would possibly know the answer.
"Well.. well.. well.. Look who it is!" Kimberly calls from the door. When I turn to face her and the guest, my mouth falls open and I rush to my feet.
"Hardin!" His name falls from my lips without a single thought, immediate adrenaline at the sight of him propells me across the room. My socks slide against the hardwood floor, nearly causing me to fall on my face. Once I'm steady enough to continue, I latch myself to him, hugging him tighter than ever before.
(I have been switching back and forth between POV's a lot lately and I hope you all like that because I really like you to be able to see what they are both doing, thinking, etc right now so I'll be continuing that for now! Don't forget to vote:) xo