Previously in After 2,
"I still can't believe you are doing this." She says as Drew spreads the ointment over the new tattoo.
"It's already done." I remind her and she looks worried as she stares at her phone screen.
I don't know how to feel about the worried expression on her face because she's the one always talking about marriage and shit so why the hell does she look so on edge? It was probably Zed coming here, that fucking asshole. I know he saw my car in the god damn lot and he still came in here, obviously looking to start something.
I hope Tess doesn't make too big of a deal out of this tattoo, it's not that serious. I have a shit load of tattoos, this one is for her and she should be happy about it. I know I am.
"Where the fuck are Steph and Tristan?" I look out the windows of the shop in an attempt to spot Steph's bright ass hair.
"We can go next door and find them?" Tessa suggests after I pay Drew and promise to come back and let him give me an entire back piece.
I nearly knock his teeth out when he suggests giving Tessa a sleeve or belly piercing.
"I think I would look cool with my nose pierced." She smiles as we walk outside.
I laugh at the thought and bring my arm around her waist as a bearded man stumbles past us. His jeans and shoes are dirty, and his thick sweatshirt is stained with liquid. From the smell of it, I assume vodka.
Tessa stops next to me and the man does the same. I gently pull her behind me. If this homeless drunk thinks he is coming any fucking closer to her I will fucking...
"Dad?" She says so low that it comes out as a whisper and I watch in confusion as all the color drains from her face.
....
Tessa's POV.
"Dad?" This man in front of me couldn't possibly be my father, regardless of the familiar brown eyes staring back at me.
"Tessie?" His voice is thicker than I recall from my distant memories.
Hardin turns to me, eyes blazing and then back to my father.
My father.
Here, in this bad neighborhood with filthy clothes on his back.
"Tessie? Is that really you?" He asks.
I'm frozen, I have no words for this drunken man wearing my father's face.
"Tessa.." Hardin attempts to pull a reaction from me.
I take a step toward the man and he smiles. His brown beard is peppered with gray, his smile isn't white and clean like I remember, how did he end up this way? All of the hope I once held that my father would have changed his life around the way Ken did has vanished and the realization of this hurts worse than it should.
"It's me." Someone says, it takes a moment to realize the words came from me.
"I can't believe it! Here you are! I've been trying to find you for months!" He closes the space between us and wraps his arms around me.
Hardin reluctantly lets go of my hand so I can hug the stranger.
"I've been here." I say quietly.
"Is that Noah? He sure has changed a lot." He turns to Hardin.
"No, that's Hardin." I tell him.
The liquor on his breath must be the reason for him to confuse the two, they are polar opposites and would never be compared to one another.
"Who's he?" My father uncomfortably keeps his arm around my shoulder and Hardin looks like he's going to explode, not necessarily out of anger but he just looks like he has no clue what to say or do.
That makes two of us.
"He's my..Hardin's my.."
"Boyfriend, I'm her boyfriend." He finishes for me.
The man's brown irises go wide as he finally takes in Hardin's appearance. Will he be like my mother, unreasonable and judgmental?
"Nice to meet you Hardin, I'm Richard," he reaches his dirty hand out to shake Hardin's.
"Ehm.. yeah, nice to meet you." Hardin is clearly very unsettled.
"What are the two of you doing out here?"
I take this opportunity to move away from him and next to Hardin. His demeanor changes instantly and he pulls me to his side.
"Hardin was getting a tattoo." I answer honestly.
My mind is unable to comprehend all that is happening right now.
"I have a few tattoos myself."
"You do?" I gasp.
Images of my father having coffee before leaving the house every morning to go to work fill my mind. He looked nothing like this, he spoke nothing like this, and he sure as hell didn't have any tattoos.
"Yeah, my friend Tom does them," he pushes up the sleeve of his sweatshirt to reveal what looks like a skull on his forearm.
It doesn't look like it belongs on him but as I continue to examine him I begin to see that maybe it does.
"Oh," this is so awkward, this man is my father. The man who left my mother and I alone is here in front of me, drunk and I don't know what to think.
Part of me is excited, a small part that I don't want to acknowledge at the moment. I had secretly been hoping to see him again since the day my mother mentioned he was back in the area. I know it's silly, stupid really, but in a way he seems better than before. He's drunk and possibly homeless but I have missed him more than I realized and maybe he's just had a rough time lately. Who am I to judge him when I don't know anything about this man?
When I look at him and the street surrounding us it's surprising to see that everything is moving along as it normally should. I could have sworn time stopped when my father stumbled in front of us.
"Where are you living?" I ask him.
Hardin's defensive gaze is set on my father, watching him like he's a dangerous predator.
"I'm in between places right now," he wipes his forehead with his sleeve.
"Oh."
"I was working down at Bolthouse but I got laid off," he tells me.
I vaguely recall hearing the name Bolthouse a few times, I believe it's a factory.
"What have you been up to? It's been what.. five years?"
"No, it's been nine."
"Nine years? I'm sorry Tessie." His words are slightly slurred.
His nickname for me makes my heart sink, that name was used in the best of times. In the time when he would put me up on his shoulders and run through our small yard, the time before he left.I don't know what to make of this. I want to cry because I haven't seen him in so long, I want to laugh at the irony of seeing him here, and I want to yell at him for leaving me.It's confusing me to see him this way, I remember him as a drunk but he was an angry drunk then, not a smiling, showing off tattoos and shaking hands with my boyfriend, drunk. He still drinks yes, but maybe he's changed into a nicer man.
"I think it's time to go." Hardin states, looking at my father.
"I really am sorry, it wasn't all my fault. Your mother.. you know how she is." He defends himself with his hands waving in front of him.
"Please Theresa, give me a chance," the man begs.
"Tessa.." Hardin warns beside me.
"Give us a second." I say to my father.
I grab Hardin by the arm and lead him a few feet away.
"What the hell are you doing? You aren't actually going to.." He begins.
"He's my dad Hardin."
"He's a fucking homeless drunk." He spits.
Tears prick my eyes from Hardin's truthful but harsh words.
"I haven't seen him in nine years."
"Exactly, because he left you."
"I just want to see what he has to say."
"It's a waste of time Tessa."
"I don't care, I want to hear him out."
"He's not coming to our house."
"If he wants to, he will. It's my house too." I snap.
"You aren't seriously considering having him come home with us?"
"Not to live or anything, just for tonight. We could make dinner." I offer.
"Dinner? Tessa, he's a god damn drunk who hasn't seen you in almost ten years and you're talking about making dinner for him?"
"He's my father Hardin and I don't have a relationship with my mother anymore."
"That doesn't mean you need to have one with him. This isn't going to end well Tess, you're too damn nice to everyone when they don't deserve it."
"This is important to me," I tell him and his eyes soften.
"Damn it Tessa, this isn't going to end well." He tugs at his messy hair in frustration.
"You don't know how it will end Hardin." I whisper and look over at my father running his fingers over his beard.
I know Hardin may be right but I owe it to myself to attempt to get to know this man or at least hear what he has to say.
"Do you want to come to our place for dinner?" My nerves get the best of me, making my voice shake.
"Really?" Hope threads through his.
"Yeah."
"Okay! Yeah, okay!" He smiles and for a brief moment the man I remember flashes through, the man before the liquor that is.
Hardin doesn't say a word as we walk to the car. I know he's angry with me for inviting my father over and I understand why but he doesn't understand. His father has changed for the better, he runs our college for goodness sakes. Is it so bad that I want to witness the same change in my father?
"He's a fucking homeless drunk." Hardin's voice invades my mind.
"This is yours? It's a carpi right, late 70's model?" My father asks when we approach the car.
"Yep," Hardin climbs in the driver's seat.
My father doesn't question Hardin's short response and I'm glad for it. The radio is set too low, Hardin and I reach for the knob at the same time in hopes that music will drown out the uncomfortable silence.
"Woah, this is where you live?" My father gapes from the backseat.
"Yeah, we moved in a few months ago." I respond.
Hardin's gaze heats my cheeks and I give him a small smile hoping to soften him, it seems to work. The ride in the elevator up to our floor is just as awkward as the ride here and I begin to reconsider inviting him along but it's too late now.
Hardin unlocks the door and walks inside without turning around. He immediately heads to the bedroom.
"I'll be right back." I tell my father.
When I step inside the bedroom Hardin is seated on the bed removing his boots from his feet. He looks over to the doorway and gestures for me to close the door.
"I know you're upset with me," I quietly remark as I walk over to him.
"I am."
"Don't be." I take his face between my hands, my thumb running over both his cheeks.
His eyes close in appreciation for my gentle touch and I feel his arms wrap around my waist.
"He's going to hurt you, I'm only trying to prevent that from happening," he promises.
"He can't hurt me, what could he possibly do? I haven't seen him in how long?"
"He's probably out there shoving shit in his pockets now." Hardin huffs and I can't help but giggle.
"It's not funny Tessa."
I sigh and tilt his chin to make him look at me. "Can you please try to lighten up and be positive about this? This is confusing enough without you sulking around."
"I'm not sulking, I'm trying to protect you."
"I don't need you to, he's my dad."
"He's not your dad.."
"Please?" I run my thumb along his lip, his expression softens.
Sighing again, he finally answers, "Fine, let's go have dinner with him then. God knows he hasn't eaten anything that didn't come from a fucking dumpster in a while."
My smile fades and my lip quivers against my will, he notices.
"I'm sorry, don't cry," he hasn't stopped sighing since we ran into my father outside the tattoo shop.
"I meant everything I said, but I will try not to be a dick about it," he stands to his feet and presses his lips to the corner of my mouth.
"Let's go feed the beggar." I hear him say under his breath as we exit our bedroom.
The man in the living room looks so out of place, gazing around the room at the books on our shelves.
"I'm going to make dinner, you can watch television?" I suggest.
"I can help?"
"Uhm, okay," I half smile and he follows me into the kitchen.
Hardin stays in the living room like I suspected he would.
"I can't believe you are all grown up and living on your own." My father says.
I reach into the refrigerator to grab a tomato and collect my scattered thoughts.
"I'm in college, at WSU, so is Hardin." I leave out the looming expulsion.
"Really? WSU? Wow." He sits down at the table and I have to stop myself from asking him to wash his hands.
I almost tell him about Seattle and the exciting new direction my life is going in, but I have yet to tell Hardin. My father's resurfacing has added yet another curve in the road, I don't know how many problems I can withstand before everything will collapse at my feet.
"I wish I would have been around to see all this happen, I always knew you would make something of yourself."
"You weren't though.." Guilt plagues me as soon as I say the words but I don't wish to take them back.
"I know, I'm here now though and we can make up for it." His proposal gives me hope that he may not be so bad after all, maybe he just needs help to stop drinking.
"Are you.." I don't know how to ask this, "Are you still drinking?"
"I am." He looks at his feet.
"Not as much, I know it looks that way right now but it's been a hard few months, that's all."
Hardin appears in the doorway of the kitchen and I know he is battling with himself to stay quiet, I hope he can.
"I've seen your mom a few times."
"You have?"
"Yeah, she wouldn't tell me where you were. She looks really good." He praises.
"What happened.. with the two of you?" I place the chicken breasts in the pan, the oil crackles and pops as I wait for an answer.
"We just weren't compatible, she always wanted more than I could give her, you know how she can be." That I do.
"Why didn't you call?"
"I did, I always called. I sent you gifts every birthday, she didn't tell you that did she?"
"No."
"Well it's true, I did. I missed you so much all this time. I can't believe you're here, in front of me now." His eyes luminous and his voice shaky as he stands and walks toward me.
Hardin steps into the kitchen to create a barrier between us and for once I'm glad for his intrusion. I don't know what to think of all of this, I need to keep the physical space between this man and I.
"I know you can't forgive me." He nearly sobs and my stomach drops.
"It's not that, I just need time before I jump into this. I don't even know you." I tell him and he nods.
"I know, I know." He sits back down at the table and I finish dinner.
Hardin's POV.
Tessa's piece of shit sperm donor scarfs down two plates of food before stopping for a drink of water. I'm sure he was starving, living on the streets and all. It's not that I don't feel bad for people who are down on their luck and hit hard times that cause them to be out of a home, it's that this man is a drunk and I don't feel bad for him for a god damn second.
"You're quiet the cook, Tessie." He beams at her.
I think I will scream if he calls her that one more time.
'"Thank you." She smiles.
I can tell his bullshit is seeping in, filling the cracks left by him leaving her when she was a child.
"I mean it, maybe you could teach me this recipe sometime."
For you to use where? In your non-existent kitchen?
"Sure." She stands to clear her plate, grabbing mine on the way.
"I'm going to take a shower, I still have some laundry to do tonight and it's getting late." She tells us.
"I can go now, I appreciate dinner." Richard says.
"No, you can... you can stay tonight, if you want and we can take you back..home, in the morning." She stutters, unsure what words to use.
I don't like this shit at all.
"That would be great." He says, rubbing his arms.
He's probably itching for a drink right now, fucking prick.
"You two will be okay, right?" Tessa questions and her dad laughs.
"Yeah, I want to get to know him anyway." He smiles.
Oh no, you don't.
She frowns at my expression and saunters out of the room, leaving us alone in the kitchen.
"So Hardin, where did you meet my Tessa?" He asks.
I hear her close the door and wait for the shower to start before I respond.
"Hardin?" He repeats.
"Let's get something straight," I begin and lean across the table, "She isn't your Tessa, she's mine and I know what the fuck you're up to so don't think for a god damn second you're fooling me." I snarl and he looks startled, surprised by my outburst.
"I'm not up to anything, I.."
"What do you want money?"
"What? No, of course I don't want money. I want a relationship with my daughter."
"You've had nine years to do that." I bark, visioning my hands around his neck.
"I made my mistakes and I'm going to make up for them."
"You're drunk, right now sitting in my kitchen, your fucking drunk. I have no sympathy for a man who leaves his family and doesn't even have his shit together nine years later."
"I know your intentions are good here and it makes me happy to see you try to defend her but I'm not going to mess this up. I only want to get to know her, and you."
I stay silent, trying to rationalize my irate thoughts.
"You're much nicer when she's around." He says quietly.
"You're not as good of an actor when she's not around." I retaliate.
"You have every right not to trust me but for her sake, give me a chance."
"If you hurt her in any way, you are dead." I should feel something while threatening Tessa's father but I only feel anger and distrust towards this pathetic drunk.
"I won't hurt her." He promises.
I roll my eyes and take a drink from my glass of water.
"This talk should be reversed, you know?" He tries to make a joke.
I ignore him and walk into the bedroom before Tessa gets out of the shower to find me strangling her father.
( I still can't believe we are already on book three! ily all so much! )