Chapter 89
The dreaded day came when I had to say goodbye to Niall, as I always did. I felt like we were saying goodbye more than we were saying hello, and it broke my heart every time I had to see him go.
Like always, a car came to pick him up and bring him to the airport and I helped bring all his bags down.
Niall gave a heart-filled goodbye to Owen as well, who was growing right before our very eyes.
Owen let out a laugh when Niall kissed his chubby cheeks and threw his tiny hands out at Niall. With Owen in my arms, I gave Niall a tight hug and kiss before I had to watch him walk out of the door again.
There was always such a silence when Niall left, and everything felt emptier. I put Owen in his favorite jumper and attempted to fold some laundry and get my mind off of the fact that I didn't know when I would hold Niall again.
Anyway, Owen and I were leaving for LA in two days and I had to clean the house and finish packing enough for the both of us.
At least I had Owen to keep me company. He made me feel a little less lonely, even though I knew he missed Niall too.
"Ready to go visit a new friend?" I asked Owen, who sat on my bed surrounded by pillows as I finished getting all of our things together. "Your Uncle Louis is having a baby soon and we're going to meet the mommy!"
I zippered the bags shut. "Your mommy's a little nervous to meet this woman and spill all of her secrets, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do."
I lifted Owen off the bed and buckled him into the carrier. Owen was getting so big that I had to adjust the buckles. I didn't know how much bigger he would grow, but it seems like just yesterday he had to be swaddled in blankets just to fit.
I called for a cab the night before, and it was waiting for us at the front of the apartment building when we left.
The flight was long as usual, but there were little complications. Probably because Niall's management organized the trip, and everything went smoother that way.
We didn't have first class to ourselves this time, but most of the people were patient with me. Owen slept and ate for most of the ride, and I was able to calm him down quickly when he woke.
When we landed in LAX, I thought back to the last time I was there. I was barley even showing and now I was here with a baby who was almost six months old.
We got into another car that brought us to our hotel. Check in was easy as well, and by the time we got to our room, I was exhausted. Well, slightly more exhausted than usual.
The suite was beautiful. There was a full kitchen, a bedroom with a crib, a huge bathroom, and a small living area with a balcony overlooking the city.
I didn't know why I would be needing this if we were only staying a few days, but I wasn't going to complain.
Owen was awake and I set up the jumper so he could get some of his energy out after being in between the carrier and my arms for almost seven hours.
I called for room-service for dinner for myself, and Owen and I had a relaxing night in. I felt less lonely than the nights I spent in hotels without Niall during my pregnancy because now I had Owen next to me.
Owen was staring to look like a mini-nialler, and starting to act like him too. Luckily he was fairly happy and had a cute giggle to accompany his shining eyes.
When I looked into Owen's eyes, I was looking into Niall's eyes. The love was overwhelming.
Thank God Owen slept well that night (only waking me up twice) and we were up and at 'em at five in the morning.
Apparently some people in the world like to sleep in. I wouldn't know what that is like but my car wasn't coming until eleven.
I ordered breakfast and fed Owen. I picked out his outfit special for today- blue shorts and a white shirt with a matching hat. A few hours later I was able to take a quick shower to get myself ready for meeting Briana.
When the time came, we both got in the car (a longer process than I had planned), and set off for Briana's house. I had given the address to the driver in advance, and Owen and I sat tight in the backseat.
As much as I loved driving through cities and the different places that went to because of Niall, it felt like that's all I ever did. I just drove through them and never got to explore then in their entirety.
Maybe this trip I would take Owen out to see the city, but it just never worked out. There's nothing worse than having the privilege to travel to so many countries and cities and never being able to see them from anything but a tinted car window.
Traffic was always pretty bad, but we were at Brianna's house in a half hour.
As soon as we passed through some gates and security, I could feel myself shake from the nerves setting in.
I always got this way when meeting new people, and this time was no exception.
I looked over at Owen's gentle face in the carrier beside me. He was fast asleep, and I hoped that he would be happy when he woke up. Briana was probably nervous enough for motherhood, and the last thing she needed was to have a screaming baby sneak-peek.
We drove down the road, and stopped in front of a group of tan attached-homes. The one with the shiny number "108" was hers.
"Thank you," I said to the driver as I walked over to Owen's side of the car. My hands shook as I unbuckled Owen's carrier.
With a diaper bag over my shoulder and a carrier in my hand, I made my way over to the door on sea-legs.
It was a nice day, the sun was bright and it wasn't too humid, but I still broke out in a sweat on my forehead.
It took everything in me to place my knuckle on the door and knock. I checked my watch- 11:54 am. She was expecting me at 12. I hoped I wasn't too early and she wasn't busy and-
Just as I was overthinking things, I heard a click within the lock of the door, and time slowed down as the knob began to turn.
I braced myself.
"You must be Alyssa!" Said the tall woman smiling on the other side of the door.
My face lifted into a smile. "It's so nice to meet you, Briana!" I replied as she opened the door wider and invited me inside.
I knew that Briana was a former model, but her beauty exceeded my expectations. Even when she had a slight baby bump, my eyes were still drawn to her face. She was wearing black leggings and a white T-Shirt... and still owned it.
My eyes wandered around her house- we walked into a large polished kitchen and there were gray couches against white walls and white floors.
At least it would match the puke of her future baby.
"I'm really sorry for inviting myself over like this, but Niall and I thought it would be a good idea to talk to you," I said to Briana. She nodded, but I didn't even know if she was listening because she was pre-occupied with Owen.
She looked back up at me and invited me into the living room. Like any good hostess, she offered me something to eat or drink, but I insisted on her sitting down with me.
"You're the one who's pregnant," I said. "If I needed anything, I could always get it myself. Don't worry about it."
She smiled and nodded, taking a seat on the couch across from me.
"So who's this little guy?" She asked, referring to Owen.
"This is my son Owen," I said. "He's sleeping right now, but you could hold him when he wakes up, if he's happy."
Briana's face lifted. "I'm having a boy too!" She said.
My heart fell in my chest. She knew what it was like. It was so touching to know that there was somebody who experienced the same thing as me.
"You're in for a treat," I laughed, ignoring the reality of it.
I asked her some details about her own life, like how her parents felt about this, if she had any siblings with kids, and tried to avoid the things that I came here to tell her about.
It was only a matter of time before she asked me a question about myself, and before I knew it, they hit me.
"So, what's your relation to One Direction?" She asked, essentially asking why I even came here in the first place.
I took a deep breath and looked into her eyes.
"Well, I've been dating Niall for over a year now, and we've managed to keep it a secret for this long," I exhaled.
I saw her eyes grow bigger, and then she looked over at Owen. I knew exactly what she was thinking.
"I know that everybody thinks that you're having the first One Direction baby, but actually, I did, about four months ago."
Briana didn't say anything. I could see that she was trying to stay cool, but she looked like confusion was swallowing her.
"I didn't know about your situation and that it was real, until Louis admitted it on the Today Show. I'm not going to lie- I was mad. I was so selfish. I was angry because I thought I would be the first to know if something like this happened because of my circumstances. I didn't believe it. I know that you probably didn't believe it either," I paused, watching her take a deep breath.
"I'm the only one in the whole world who's the closest to having went through what you're going through right now. All that I wanted when I was pregnant was for somebody to tell me that everything was going to be okay. And you know what? It didn't turn out to be okay, it turned out to be amazing. There's nothing more amazing than holding a a living breathing human that you created. It can be so exhausting and hopeless at times, but when I look into his eyes, I am reminded that my life serves a bigger purpose now."
I smiled over at Briana, who looked like she was starting to cry.
"It's different for me. I know what you're trying to say, but you have a boyfriend and you have a life because you were able to keep things a secret. I lost my modeling job for the time-being, the father of my baby is talking to this girl named Danielle, and I have this big house in a big city but I've never felt so alone," Briana said, breaking down in tears.
My heart was breaking for her.
At the end of the day, Niall did make my life so much better and I was so lucky that he was able to stand by me through everything. My worst fear was that he would leave.
And that's exactly what happened with Briana and Louis.
He bailed.
I knew that they had a one night stand and never had a real relationship, but she was going to be a single mother for the most part.
I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from crying. I got up and sat beside her on the couch and put my arm around her.
"You feel so alone because you feel so disabled right now. Once you have your baby and give it some time, you realize that there's so much more to life than hooking up and going out. Your life has a purpose, and that's more than you can say for the people who are harassing you," I assured her.
"How far along are you?" I asked, returning to Owen on the opposite couch.
"I'm about five months in," she said, wiping her tears.
"Over halfway!" I said, shaking my hands on her shoulders. "That's something to be excited about!"
She smiled, but I could tell it was forced.
"Briana, I want to take you out to lunch," I said. "I can tell you've spent a lot of time inside, and I think it would be a good idea to go out."
"No," she said defensively. "There's always so many cameras and I just can't-"
"If there's anybody that knows about a fear of cameras, it's me," I said. "Trust me, they don't hurt. They're just bums with nothing better to do that intrude in our lives."
She sighed.
"I'm not a big fan of it either, but I can sue them for taking pictures of Owen if they get too invasive."
She looked up at me. "Let's go."
A/N
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