Li Yan couldn't sleep for many days. Since the day that unexpected thing happened inside his private chamber, he had been too distracted even during the court sessions. He felt very guilty. He was frustrated with himself. This incident remained to be a deep scar at the depths of his heart that got scraped everytime when he remembered it.
He nearly destroyed Shen Nuo in his blind desires. Everytime he pulled the quilt over him to sleep, he would remember the pitiful cute face of Nuo Nuo that moment he was mercilessly pulled down the floor.
Li Yan knew he was wrong, very wrong. But still, shamelessly he had to admit that he actually liked it. He craved for it more. He wanted more of it. He didn't know why. Whenever he sees Shen Nuo cry, he wants to make him cry even worse.
Whenever he sees Shen Nuo's innocent little face, he wants bully him to death, until his face went red and eyes went moist. Whenever he sees Shen Nuo's soft and pale pink lips, he wanted to kiss them until they go swollen and red.
He want to possess him, haunt him and own him...
But-
He also regretted what he did for a thousand times. There were countless times he cursed himself for being unrestrained himself. Shen Nuo was still a child! How can he possibly think that way about him?
He wants to say sorry to Shen Nuo. He wants to ask forgivings personally. So one evening, he finally decided to peel off his cold blooded thick face, disguised himself in casual robes and silently went out of the Palace.
Meanwhile, Shen Nuo was at the Academy, sitting under a peach tree. It was a holiday. In his hands was a bamboo scroll but his eyes were fixed at the gloomy evening sky. He was silent and thoughtful. In one of his pale white hands was a white jade tassel. His lips still looked scratched and slightly purple. It gave him pain everytime he moved his lips. But he endured.
So now when he sat under the tree, he was in deep thought and no one knew what he was thinking. Zhanhua who was passing by, happened to see him there. Zhanhua noticed that Shen Nuo was acting weird since a week. But he didn't catch the abnormality. But he was a person with sharp senses. He felt a strange and faint smell of Sandalwood from Shen Nuo.
He was confused. He felt like he had smelled this fragrance before. But he couldn't remember clearly. No matters what, it always gave him a bad feeling...
Shen Nuo always used to hang around him in every possible time. But since a week, he had been avoiding everyone. His eyes were often moist and he would just blankly stare at something, lost in his own deep thoughts...
"Nuo Nuo."
Shen Nuo was startled at the sudden interruption. He clearly didn't see Zhanhua coming!
He looked away quickly, avoiding Zhanhua's eye. "Big brother? Why did you come here?"
Zhanhua sat close to Shen Nuo with a smile. Shen Nuo's eyes widened. He tried to move away a bit from Zhanhua. But Zhanhua held his palm gently and firmly. "Can't big brother come to see you when he wishes?"
Shen Nuo was stunned. He was speechless. He went red. That voice was almost a whisper in his ear. Why does it sound like...
Zhanhua sighed deeply, shaking his head. "Why are you trying to avoid me now?" He asked in a distressed voice. "Did I do something wrong? Hmm?"
Shen Nuo tried to pull away his hand from Zhanhua. Luckily Zhanhua also did not intend on having their hands clasped either. He let go of Shen Nuo.
"Big brother, you've mistaken. It's not that I'm avoiding. I don't want to trouble anyone..."
His voice was weak and slightly shuddering.
Zhanhua looked at him. "Look at me."
Shen Nuo was suddenly breathing hard. He gulped. He slowly turned to look at Zhanhua's face. And for a split second, his eyes got locked with deep fathoming and sunken dark brown eyes.
Shen Nuo shuddered convulsively. His eyes widened. But Zhanhua broke the eye contact and lowered his eyes down to Shen Nuo's scratched lips. They were slightly purple...
"Does it hurt?" Zhanhua asked in a soft voice, concernedly. "What on earth happened to you to get them scratched to this extent?"
"What -?" Shen Nuo asked hoarsely.
Zhanhua shook his head, sighing. "Nevermind. I'm not going to ask if you're unwilling." He fished his hand into his sleeve pocket and pulled out a beautiful glassy vial with a bright translucent water like substance. "Hold it on for a while!"
He spilled some of them onto his finger and then gently passed that fingertip across Shen Nuo's scratched lips.
Shen Nuo was too horror stricken that for a moment, he couldn't move. He stared at Zhanhua, stunned. Then suddenly he felt his lips burning when the strong medicine pierced through the scratches. He wanted to move his face away in pain but Zhanhua grasped him from his nape gently, pulled his face closer and lightly blew a gentle stream of air, cooling down the scorching medicine upon the wound.
Their faces were very close. Their nose bridges brushed against each other ambiguously. Shen Nuo felt suffocated. He couldn't move from Zhanhua's grasp. Cold tears filled his eyes, moistening them. He slightly struggled to break free.
And not far away, behind a tree, Li Yanlong's face drew pale. His hands subconsciously clenched into fists. He was shocked. In this angle, he only saw Shen Nuo and Zhanhua kissing each other passionately. He went crazy in anger. But he couldn't stop the tears that rolled down his eyes.
He only came here to say sorry and ask for forgivings from Shen Nuo's for what he did. But what did he see? Did Shen Nuo worth his forgivings?
So actually, Shen Nuo loves Zhanhua? And Zhanhua loves Shen Nuo? He didn't know! He suddenly realized why Shen Nuo was unwilling everytime he was with him. It turned out that there weren't even a slightest space spared in that person's heart for him. That person had never felt feelings towards him... Because even from the beginning, that person had loved Zhanhua...
Li Yan's mouth twitched. He suddenly felt lost. His heart nearly bled. He narrowed his cold eyes with hate and suppressed pain. He did not interrupt their happy time together. Instead, he silently left.
And meanwhile Shen Nuo who suddenly came back to his senses, pushed away Zhanhua furiously. "Brother! No!"
Zhanhua was startled. "Nuo Nuo? It's not poison! It's medicine! Yeah of course it hurts a bit. But your wounds will definitely get well soon! So-"
"Shen Nuo." Suddenly a cold voice spoke. Both broke apart immediately, and turned to look back with widened eyes.
There stood two tall figures that looked ninety five percent similar. It was Shen Hao and Shen Du.
Shen Nuo gasped. "Big brother ..." He didn't know what his third brother and fourth brother were doing at the Academy...
Shendu was looking cold as usual. He was a cold faced demon. But he smiled a little at Zhanhua and stepped closer. Meanwhile, Shen Hao stretched out his hands to Shen Nuo with a bright smile. "Nuo Nuo! Come! Brother Hao is going to hunt. Brother will take you too, ok?"
Shen Nuo immediately ran to Shen Hao's snuggle. Shen Hao didn't even wait for a second. He broke into a wide grin and shouldered little Nuo Nuo as if he was a sack, causing Shen Nuo to have another heart attack. "Come!" He walked away with Shen Nuo and disappeared into the lake pavilion side.
Only Zhanhua and Shendu were left. Zhanhua brushed his dresses clean and stood up to greet Shendu. "Long time no see, Deputy Martial Shen! What are you doing here inside the Academy?"
Shendu went closer with a smile that was not a smile. It looked frightening. He leaned foward to Zhanhua and whispered in his ear, almost in a softer but more dangerous voice.
"Well, Master Zhanhua, I grew up in the barracks and may not be respectful. I don't know how to politely ask or beg. I only know how to hurt and kill. Hope you won't be too wishful..."
These words were softly spoken but who cannot sense the life threat within? Shendu clearly and neatly drew a line between Zhanhua and Shen Nuo. How can Zhanhua not understand? Zhanhua was suddenly lost. He did not know what to say.
Outside the Academy, Shen Hao finally put down the lofty bag that was hung over his shoulders. "You unthankful junior! Is your senior someone whom you can call a donkey? Ah?" He protested, waking towards a tall raven steed that was grazing grass under a nearby tree. Shen Nuo had been repeatedly screaming, calling him a donkey in fear of falling off the shoulder.
Shen Hao raised Shen Nuo by the armpits and carefully placed him on the saddle before mounting himself behind him. He got the reins to his hands. "Ok. Tell big brother. Where do you want to go today?"
"Anywhere." Shen Nuo loftily leaned onto his elder brother's warm chest, feeling safe and happy. Among all the brothers he had, Shen Hao and Shendu were the best...
The horse trotted down several streets before suddenly Shen Hao spoke behind him."What are you thinking?"
Shen Nuo was silent for a while. Shen Hao smiled. "Don't worry. Big bro Zhanhua won't be coming anywhere near you at least for the next few months. You know Shendu, don't you?"
"It's fine." Shen Nuo shook his head slowly. Then he asked the question that had bothered him for long. "Third brother, is that white jade tassel brother Zhanhua's?"
"No." Shen Hao answered shortly. "Nuo Nuo! Are you really believing in that thing?"
Shen Nuo nodded genuinely. "I feel it. This tassel is friendly. I can't leave it no matter what. I feel like he's always watching me."
Shen Hao facepalms feeling headache. "Oh yeah he is!" He muttered under his breath.
Shen Nuo turned his face to look at him. "What?"
Shen Hao looked suddenly desperate. "Nuo Nuo, would you believe me if I say this tassel originally belongs to the Emperor?"
Shen Nuo was shocked. He stared at Shen Hao in disbelief.
Shen Hao sighed. "He was the one who hung it on your waist belt when you were five years old! Of course you don't remember."
Shen Nuo was really stunned this time. He has thought about this matter a countless times. At least he had a faint guess in his heart. But he didn't dare to think too much wildly.
He did not understand many things that big people did. But since the day that horrifying thing happened inside that room, he was in a mess. He couldn't concentrate on the lessons he was taught at the classroom. He couldn't sleep at night. That incident would always slip into his mind...
He clearly did not have any kind of feeling towards Li Yan except fear. Li Yan was so scary and frightening. How could not Shen Nuo be scared? But -
Since the day that thing happened, he did not know why he kept thinking about Li Yan. He really ... missed his cold and handsome face. He missed that chilling Sandalwood fragrance. He was just too afraid that he was too wishful. And now when he suddenly got to know that Li Yan was none but his fated person, how could he believe it?
Shen Nuo's hands subconsciously clenched onto the white jade tassel that hung by the side of his waist.
He did not know what to feel. He remembered what the fortune teller by Wu Xiang Monastery said many years ago. That person clearly said that this jade tassel belonged to the person whom he would be marrying oneday...
So all these times, it had been actually Li Yan...
Though he did not understand many things, he suddenly understood the reason behind Li Yan's possessiveness all these times...
So Li Yan, that cold faced Emperor had actually pursued him for many years without Shen Nuo realizing it... The person whom he had been waiting for, had always being with him like his shadow without him knowing it...
Shen Hao heard a soft sniff and passed his slender fingertips over Shen Nuo's face and gasped when he felt the moist that was running down his cheeks. "Ancestor! Why are you crying, ah?"
At the palace, Li Yan drank a lot to get off the stress. He never expected this thing to happen. The person that he loved for more than ten years belonged to someone else...
That day he realized that the most hurtful things in his life was to see the person he loved adore another person forth his eyes. He silently pursed his lips and threw away the empty jug. "More!"
Zhangsun looked lost. "Your Majesty, that was the twenty fourth jug that you emptied! Your Majesty shouldn't drink anymore!"
He was genuinely concerned about his master because he knew that Li Yan was awful at holding alcohol. No sooner, he would start to utter shit and do nonsense. And his pitiful Emperor's pride would be eaten by dogs. He didn't want Li Yan to get drunk and loose his mind. But -
Li Yan looked at Zhangsun coldly. "I said more!"
Zhangsun had no alternative but to pull the cork of the twenty fifth jug and hand it over reluctantly.
That night, it was unusually cold. Empress Xi Jiu pulled the golden quilt over her shoulders and sank deeper into the bed. The wind was howling outside the window screen. She fell asleep.
But suddenly at a certain hour in the midnight, a tall and a dark shadow pulled away the curtain around the bed without warning and hoovered over her, startling her to scream in fright. But her mouth was immediately blocked by that person's thin and cold lips. She couldn't scream. A weak moan escaped her lips.
Her lips were bitten and kissed deeply until traces of blood appeared. It was pain like she had never felt before.
She immediately recognized that touch. She was bewildered. Li Yan??? It was Li Yan!
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