The two of us stood silent, Helen held his usual placid expression, ignoring the foot traffic pattering around us. I don't know what to say, I have never been in this type of heavy situation, never had to carefully pick my words with the fear of saying something I could not take back.
"Please don't look at me like that Helen" I can not meet his eyes, I don't want him to look through me like he is so capable of doing, to see the hurt his silence is causing.
He reached out to me, gently clasping my shoulders, his emotionless face braking into a sublet but sharp frown, "Then tell me... I know there is something big going on, we all do, I just want to understand how you are involved, I could possibly help you."
I opened and shut my mouth, shaking my head ant turning away, "I can't say anything Helen, I was told not to."
The truth, I wanted to explain everything so badly, to tell Helen that there is nothing to worry about because I am on his side and that the whole purpose of me being here is to help them all.
But I can't. When I try to defend myself, to explain, I have flash backs to Zalgo telling me not to, that little voice whispering for me to 'keep quiet', the mark on my back started to heat up, further compelling me to shut my mouth and hold my toung.
I understand that the higher being does not wish to involve those around, seeing as he mentioned they do not trust him, what about me though, can't they trust me, am I that cast out as a fake Proxy?
They do not know I am a fake but if I explain, they will understand right, they will consider?
... No.... In the first place Masky said CPs and Proxies are different, even if I explained there is a chance it would leak out to the facility, condemning and failing me in my mission before it truly began.
Zalgo is right, better to keep quiet until told otherwise.
I took a deep breath to refocus myself, I had not realized it but Helen's grip had tightened exceptionally, entrapping me in his grip.
"Frustrating... Do you know how frustrating it is (Y/N)...." He released me, clenching his fists to his sides, and gritting his teeth, he almost looked as though he wanted to hit me, to get everything out of his system the same way Jeff had done, I am fully prepared for it too, to feel the sting of his fist.
Instead, he tuned away, his posture fallen and abandoned, "... (Y/N), at this point in time I expect to be betrayed by those closest to me... It has happened before, it will happen again."
Toung tied again, what can I say to him to mend this misunderstanding, blatantly declaring I am on his side could do more harm then good, damn, why didn't I attend my therapy sessions when I had the chance, I could have leaned a thing or two.
I swallowed my words and stood straight, Helen means to much for me to half ass my words, "Helen I-"
"What in blazes are you two doing alone in the hallway?" Dr. Morales briskly approached the two of us, he looked frazzled and tired, his face fitted with an urgent expression.
He glanced from me to Helen to see who would provide an answer, he does not seem to like the look Helen is giving me, placing himself between us and raising his arm to make some distance, "Mr. Otis, are you fairing alright today? perhaps you should return to your room while I speak to (Y/N)."
The doctor looked serious, not wanting to hear any excuses that may come his way should Helen protest, unsurprisingly Helen did not.
"Helen!", he stopped walking as I called his name, he glanced back at me once more, yet not giving me his full attention, "Helen... you can distrust me, but please... don't hate me...."
Dr. M sighs, taking my hand, "Come (Y/N), I have something to discus with you in my office, good day Mr. Otis", he and I left the way I had come, leaving Helen standing in the hall.
Dr. Morales shut the door behind us, heaving a heavy sigh.
"(Y/N), I warned you bout that boy, had I not been informed later of that altercation who would have known how it could have ended, Helen is not a violent character, but he is unstable and highly sensitive."
"He would not have done anything regardless... I was partly at fault for the misunderstanding anyways", I flopped into the pristine white chair, I did not get the chance to say my piece and now things are going to be strained between us.
The numerous stacks of papers of the doctor's desk caught my attention, its no wonder why the doctor is tired, "You have a lot of work to do, haven't been given an assistant yet?"
He sat in his chair, a soft smile on his face, "Are you offering? Ill have to pull a few all-nighters to get it done on time but ill manage, would you like to keep me company? I don't suppose you want to be in an awkward situation with you room mate after that."
"Didn't you take me here to tell me something?
"That may have been a little lie but I do enjoy are conversations, the higher ups should not mind me working with a patent after hours" He chuckles, "Make yourself comfortable, ill be right here if you need anything."
I smiled back at him, relaxing my body into the chair, he really is a nice guy, always has been and always will be. I close my eyes, trying to give myself to the comfort.
"̺̜͖͞D̢̰̠o͏͈ń̺̗͉͎̗'̩͉̩̀ṱ̷̳̖̣͚̥ ̫̟̫̫̳̣̥f̛̥̖a̲͙͈͟l͏̦͙̼̟̲l͈̘ ͍̰a̺̼̮̳͡s͎̟̙͖͕̭̗l͙ͅę̯̤e͇̩͕͘ͅp̶͕̳̠̟ ̞͟(̮͉̱Y͓̫̙͙̝̣͟/̟N͏͍͈̰̤̮)͇̼̝̤͈̱.̬̮̦̳"
My consciousness returned, my eyes shooting open, this time however I did not make the mistake calling out loud.
'Zalgo, what is it now, its not the best time.'
My sudden jolt drew Dr. M's attention, he glanced at me smiling reassuringly, "Sleep (Y/N), I wont wake you up till morning."
I smiled back at him, though it is a little strained thanks to the demon whispering in my ear.
"̫͎̮̬̹T̙̦̹ͅḫ̜̞̰͞e̛̺̪̗̙̝̪͉ ̹̘̱̤ǹ̼i͎̙̤̯̯g͉̥̺̤̲͔͘h̩t̖͈̼ ̵͖̯i̴͔͈͓̬̫s͡ ̙̬̦̩͇̮͘l͔̤o͈͟n̥̪͖͎͈̯g̷͈̥͉̻̞,̘ ̳͎̲͜h̛ẹ̘̝̬̫͞ i̗̯͇͇s͔͜ ̸t̨̼̳̞̞͍i̥̘͇̯̠̠͎r̭e̙̠̤̺̝̥̮d̵̗̦.̦̫͡ ̢͓̥̝W҉̲a̖͖̩̙͓i̢̞̞͚ţ̣ ͖̦͓̪̻͜f̬̯̰o̸̱̫r͢ ̸̭̘͚̮͔y͕̣̭̻̲̩o͇͙̙̮̜̯͜u҉̳͍͓̟̖̰r̵͔͙͍͓ ͈͓̥c̴̯̜̺̖̫̬h̛̜̜a̛̘͙͉̩̙͔n̡c̠͍e̬ ̜̩̰͈̝̝͠t̼̳̪̝̕o̢̼̩̬̬̤ ̖̯̠̼̯̰ͅl̩é͓̘a̢̝̰͔̙v̯e͕̗.̹̹̞̯̼"̢͎̦̭̦
The realization hit me, this is indeed the perfect opportunity to sneak myself around, I just need to wait it out.
I close my eyes once again, maintaining the idea of staying up passed the doctor.
I did not have to wait long, Dr. Morales is out before the hour passed, I snuck out the door with a grin on my face.
Item containment here I come.