Glomgold hopped out of Sadie, straight into a puddle of gasoline. He grunted in scottish before sniffing the liquid. He nodded and began to drink it like a dog would while the rest of the Glomsquad exited the vehicle. Everyone just agreed nonverbally they would try to leave Glomgold every time they stopped.
"Alright..." Gyro 'carefully' stepped over Glomgold before stretching out. They had only been driving for three hours but none of them ever drove long distances like that. Ever. "You guys can grab snacks and I'll fill up the tank. Got it?" He was talking to Gloria in particular because Mark was occupied taking LGBT selfies, while Ellie was Boyd were content staying in the car. And Glomgold started to roll around in the puddle but who cares about him.
"Oh and... pick up a lighter while you're in there, Gloria."
"You're finally gonna take up smoking? I would start with weed first."
He scrunched up his face. "No. I mean we can use it to set Glomgold on fire." He gestured to the man rolling in gasoline. Gyro wasn't afraid to say that out loud because Glomgold was too dumb to pick up on anything. And even if he wasn't, it's not like he would give a shit. "Ellie can have the honors if she wants."
"Ohhhhhhhhhh okay yeah that sounds like a better plan than you picking up weed." She continued "I'm probably gonna steal shit. Probably some ICEEs. You want anything?"
The fact Gloria thought setting a man on fire was better than Gyro picking up weed was something he was going to ignore. He was going to ignore the fact she was going to steal shit, so he gave her a 'do whatever you want' wave of his hand before heading over to the pump.
The pump was grimey and made Gyro cringe inward. It was covered in what looked like old gum and maybe even old, dried up dog feces. Great. He sighed, knowing what he had to do. Gyro Gearloose took off his shirt to use as some sort of napkin while picking up the handle. Could he have asked the others to pick up napkins inside? Yes. But he would rather use his shirt than trust napkins from a Floridian gas station. He's seen some shit in the past, all related to Florida. People did things with those napkins before putting them back.
Mark walked around to the other side of the van to see what his "boyfriend" was up to. "Heyyyyyyyyyyy! What are you- oh my god YOU'RE SHIRTLESS! This would be GREAT for twitter!" Mark wrapped his arm around Gyro's shoulder to hold him in place while he started taking photos of the two of them.
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Gyro shoved him away as best as he could with one hand, the other staying on the pump. He kept a close eye on Mark as he turned around to unscrew the gasoline cap on the van. "Why don't you just go into the gas station with Gloria or something? Florida is enough of a hell without you around."
Mark didn't listen to Gyro. Obviously. Instead, he directed his attention to the nearby gas station squeegee. He hiked up the crop top he was wearing and tied it in the front to make it look more like a bikini top. Mark then proceeded to grab the squeegee, taking it out of the small black box that held soapy water. He hopped up on the van's hood and started to seductively wash the windows. "Gyrooooooooooo! Look at meeeeeeeeee! Aren't I sexy?!" Mark made sure to also lift his ass up in the air while he cleaned. It should be noted that Mark Beaks has never washed a van ever in his life so it's not like he was even doing a good job.
Soap and water was going oh him more than the van itself. But perhaps he was doing that on purpose.
He couldn't help it, but a light blush crossed Gyro's cheeks, especially when everyone else filling up their car turned to stare at the two of them. Including Ellie and Boyd who were watching the entire thing go down. The only people not watching were those inside the gas station and Glomgold who was still rolling around and drinking gasoline.
"W-what are you doing?!" Gyro covered his cheeks as best as he could with one hand. Throughout all of this, he kept his other hand on the pump. His mind was going a mile a minute. The performance did not please him in the least bit, and the fact it was Mark made it so much worse. But his mind kept imagining Gloria in Mark's place. "DUCK JESUS! GET OFF OF THE CAR AND GO INSIDE TO BUY CHEETOS OR SOMETHING!"
"YEAH IN A MINUTE!" Mark turned around and laid on top of the window to take more selfies. These selfies were a bit more seductive. He even went as far as lifting his shirt up. "Boyfriend! Get over here and take some photos of me on top of the car! I need a full body shot!" Mark held his phone up in the air as if he was expecting Gyro to come over and actually take his picture. Ellie and Boyd continued to watch Mark make a fool of himself from the inside of the van. They could hear all of what Gyro and Mark were saying because of how loud they were yelling. Ellie and Boyd had a clear view of Mark's backside on the front car window which really upset Boyd. Ellie didn't mind the "show" one bit but she knew that she had to shut it down. She also didn't appreciate how Mark was doing all of this for Gyro's attention and not hers.
She sighed and took Boyd's hand. "Come along, Boyd. I need to stop your father and then we can go inside to get snacks. Does that sound good to you?"
Boyd nodded. "Sure... but why is dad acting that way in front of Dr. Dad?"
The fact it was so obvious that even a child noticed the flirtatious air between Gyro and Mark only pissed Ellie off more.
Boyd followed behind her as she stepped out of the vehicle and approached Mark at the hood of the car. A heavy and disappointed frown was on her face. "I do not care if it is Pride month. You can pretend to be homosexual online but flirting with Gyro is too far." She snatched his phone away from him and shoved it into her purse. "You do not deserve this. You programmed me to be obsessed with you and it is working because I am rather jealous." She remained blunt but she was pissed. "I can only wish I can manipulate your feelings like you did mine. Have fun flirting with Gyro without your phone. I am going to go inside and buy healthy snacks for Boyd."
She took Boyd's hand and stormed inside the store. Boyd looked back at him and he was very very confused. But he was going to get some apple juice so he wasn't going to question anything further.
Gyro sighed. He didn't even have it in him to laugh at Mark's expense. "Way to go Mark." The pump clicked, signalling the tank was full. Gyro jiggled it around to prevent gas dripping from the pump before putting it back, along with his shirt back on. "I'm going inside too." Gyro didn't want anything, but he sure as hell wasn't waiting outside with Mark.
Mark hopped off the van and shook his fist in the air at the people walking into the gas station "LOVE IS LOVE!"
He stood there for a whie before realizing how stupid he looked right then. He was partially soaking wet at this point while wearing a tied up crop top that exposed the majority of his chest. Mark sighed and fixed his crop top in shame before walking into the gas station himself so he wasn't the only one left outside with Glomgold.
Mark knew that he was taking his whole Pride Month fiasco too far when he realized that he was wrapping his enemy into it and pissing his girlfriend off. He made a mental note to tone it down IRL and to have a 20% sale on all rainbow Waddle merch.
Ellie was standing at the end of the healthy snack aisle watching Boyd roam back and forth to figure out what he wanted. She already had a few lighters in her purse after Gloria had notified her of the 'lighting Glomgold on fire' plan.
Speaking of Gloria, she had been filling up a large cup of ICEE and going to the back of the store to drink it, only to walk back and refill it. She had already stuffed a couple of chips in her bag but she was planning on buying some of it to make it seem like she wasn't shoplifting.
As for Gyro, well, he was trying to pick out the purest water out of the 20 different brands they had at every gas station. He was stuck between Aquafina and Dasani before almost coming to a decision; the sound of loud motorcycles cut off his train of thought. "Goddamnit!" He turned to Gloria who was midway through her fifth slurpee. "See what I mean about Floridian gas stations?! How am I supposed to analyze different water bottles with loud interruptions like this!" He pointed out the window in pure scientist rage. The majority of the window was covered in handprints and dead roaches, but you could still see out of it fairly well.
Gloria followed his finger to see what he was talking about. She took another sip of her ICEE before responding. "Okay sooooooo not to freak everyone out... but I think that may be Heidi's ex-gang."
Despite being on the opposite side of the gas station, Ellie was able to pick up on that. She turned around to peer out another window herself, and sure enough, it was T-bag, Vic, Tina, and Dingles. They had just started their road trip and had already been found. Heidi wasn't joking when she mentioned how dangerous they were. They really did want revenge.
She took Boyd's free hand, the other holding an apple, as she sped walked over to both Gloria and Gyro. Mark was too busy admiring himself in the tiny mirror where they held sunglasses, mainly trying to fix his hair after getting all wet.
"What are we going to do?" Ellie whispered like the gang members were already inside. They weren't. At the moment they were looking around their van. A question Ellie wondered was how on earth they figured out what vehicle they took, but the answer was simple. They must've either been stalking them or have gotten to Jimmy somehow. Most likely the latter. Ellie was observant and would have noticed if they were being stalked. At least, she liked to think that.
When no one answered her previous question, she added something. "We cannot take them on ourselves. They are too large and heavily built."
Gyro nodded in agreement. He didn't seem too worried yet. "We can sick Glomgold on them again."
They all looked out the window to see Glomgold who was now passed out in the puddle of gasoline. One of the gang members, Dingles, was kicking him with his foot to try to wake him up. It wasn't working.
Now he was worried. "Okay. Nevermind. We're screwed."
Mark walked over to the rest of the Glomsquad while still wearing one of the sunglasses with a huge tag on it. "What's up?"
Boyd pointed out the window.
Mark took the sunglasses off dramatically. "Well shit."
"W-what do we do?!" Boyd asked that to anyone but Mark. "There isn't a back exit or restrooms!"
Man. They were in a really shit gas station that was built to get them killed.
She knew this was a bad idea but Gloria figured she should pitch it anyways. "Why don't we just grab those big bags of ice, throw it at them, and run?"
That wasn't too bad of an idea but Ellie still shook her head. "No. They most likely have guns." She stated. "The gang we took on on the ship was much different. We were able to sneak up on them. It is difficult to do so in this scenario, especially when we are in larger quarters and they will be more spread out when entering."
"Well if we could hide in the large freezer without it locking behind us, I would say we could just... chill in there! Ha! Get it?" Man, Gloria was on a roll today with her "great" ideas.
"I'm very sensitive to temperature." Boyd frowned. "I will freeze up very easily."
Ellie was built to handle more intense temperatures considering she survived the North Pole, Boyd on the other hand was not.
Gyro sighed, knowing it had to be him that came up with a plan. "Not my most brilliant idea, but I guess our only bet is to just sneak around them while they walk around the store."
"...and then we can sneak in the van and drive away." Boyd added.
Ellie also added to that. "As well as leave my Uncle behind."
"Okay. We have a game plan. Glomsquad, scatter." Gyro knelt down to crawl into the chip aisle.
The fact they all went by 'Glomsquad' and didn't retort was a mystery. It had been so long, why bother changing the name at this point? But the fact Gyro always said it outloud was a big no and made the rest of them cringe.
The bell above the door dinged as Heidi's ex-gang entered in slow motion for the dramatic effect; the leader, T-bag, whipping off his sunglasses once the slow motion had stopped. He scanned the room quickly, the only people in sight being a shirtless man with a gator of his shoulder and a family that looked like they were from a rip off TV show of Honey Boo Boo.
Vic and Tina guarded the door, C-note walked over to get a slushie, and T-bag and Dingles walked up to the cashier. "Excuse me, sir." T-bag leaned over, putting his elbow on the counter to seem not only edgy, but also cool as fuck. "Have you seen anyone else enter this fine establishment. Specifically this family..." He held up a vintage looking photo of the Glomsquad at Margaritaville the other day. None of the Glomsquad needed to see the photo to know it was them. This only confirmed that they had been being stalked for days.
Ellie was going to continue to deny that like the snob she was. There was no way she would come to the conclusion her IQ was low enough to not pick up on that. In fact, she blamed it on Mark for emotionally distracting her. Yep. That was it.
The truck driving looking ass of a cashier looked up from his republican newspaper to study the photograph. "Nope."
Dingles made a very confused look. "But their car is outside."
"You think I watch the door? If a shooter comes in, good. I want my life to end."
Tina muttered under her breath "Mood."
T-bag, on the other hand, was not amused. He stuffed the photo back into his pocket and nodded at the gang to start searching. Vic remained to guard the door just in case.
It looked like their only chance of escaping was to get Vic away from the door long enough to bolt.
Ellie was in the same aisle as Gloria, along with Boyd. Mark had scattered to wear there was cool Florida merch.
"Help me with this, will you?" Ellie grabbed gasoline from off of a shelf, handing another jug to Gloria.
She gave Ellie a confused look "What's your plan? To burn this place down with us in it!?" She whispered.
"Of course." Ellie gave Gloria a confused look back as if the plan didn't need to be said. "We spread the gasoline around and we set the building on fire once we are close enough to the door to run. As for the people inside, well I simply do not care." She pointed to where the Honey Boo Boo looking family was. "They are better off dead if you ask me."
"Ellie, killing off gang members and murderers are one thing but innocent people?" Gloria didn't have any other plan though.
"I do not see your point. That is my plan and you are not changing my mind." Ellie wasn't joking around this time. "If innocent people need to be killed in order to save ourselves, then so be it. If we warn them, they will most likely panic, drawing attention to ourselves in the process."
She sighed, hoping that the family would find a way out of the building themselves.
Boyd had his fair share of protests, but he definitely wasn't going to say anything. Again, this was just another normal day for the Glomsquad.
"Do you agree to the plan?"
"Not really? But then again my plan was to throw ice at them so yeah, let's go with your plan."
"Go grab Mark and Gyro before spreading around gasoline. I will go ahead and start. Boyd, stay close to me." She commanded. Ellie had already started pouring gasoline by a nearby wet floor sign, so the gasoline blended in for the moment. Her next move was to put flammable objects nearby, like other barrels of gasoline.
Boyd gave Gloria a look that meant 'be safe'.
Gloria sneaked her way over to the other side of the gas station where Mark and Gyro were. Luckily she wasn't spotted while doing so. "Hey, Ellie came up with a plan. Ready to commit arson, fellas?" Gloria held up the gasoline.
Gyro sighed. "Of course. Of course it's arson." He shook his head, while Mark looked hella pumped. "What brilliant plan did Ellie come up with?"
"That's it. We just sprinkle gasoline around, light it up, and run out the store. We also should try to ditch Glomgold in the process."
"Set the building on fire with innocent people inside?!"
Mark laughed. "C'mon, bae. Floridians don't deserve to live." If it wasn't obvious enough, Mark really liked this plan.
Gyro ignored Mark. "How are we supposed to get out then?"
Gloria shrugged "Ellie said that we should make our way towards the exit before we light this place up."
"You know what? I have enough sins. I don't think killing a few more people will add anything." Gyro muttered under his breath before crawling his over to be closer to the entrance. He looked behind him at Mark who was close to follow. "I guess being around villains rubbed off on me. You're disgusting."
Mark winked and shot him a finger gun gesture as if that was a compliment.
Tina moved nearby so they quickly moved to the next aisle, avoiding her by just a hair. God. They weren't very good at searching. "C-note, stop drinking damn slushies and help us out."
"What?"
"Yo, T-bag?" Dingles pointed to the floor. "What's up with all the gasoline? Was that here before?"
T-bag looked down at the floor. "Oh, I just thought it was that ugly family's daughter who took a piss everywhere."
Tina knelt down to stick a finger in it and sniff. "Nope. It's gasoline. And it sure as hell wasn't here before."
Vic walked over to see all the commotion going on. "What's up now?"
T-bag narrowed his eyes and looked around the store. "They're in here... somewhere. Whatever the deal is with all of the gasoline on the floor, isn't going to be pretty. We should probably go. Meet them at their van."
Ellie took this as a cue to stand up by the door and flick the lighter on. She smirked, excited to see innocent people burn more so than the gang members.
The man with the gator on his shoulder was the first to notice. "ARE WE GONNA LIGHT FIREWORKS UP?!" He pointed to Ellie, the four gang members turning around to see her with a lighter in hand.
T-bag shoved Vic and Dingles towards the exit "GET HER!"
Ellie didn't flinch and threw the lighter onto the ground. A wall of fire lit up so fast, the gang vanished from her sight, but their curses remained heard. She waved the glomsquad behind her to follow out the exit beside her before it lit up as well.
They did so, listening to the horrified screams from the inside grow. It looked like the innocent people didn't make it out which only made Ellie's smirk widen.
They all managed to get into the van with Gyro starting up the engine frantically.
"WAIT!" Ellie pulled another lighter (yeah she had a lot) out from her purse and threw it out the window at the puddle where Glomgold laid. The place blew up, almost tipping the car over. It was spreading to another tank of gas so they had to hurry. Ellie couldn't see Glomgold through the fire but there was no way he survived. Innocent people and Glomgold dead? Best fucking day ever. Ellie started laughing. "LET'S ROLL, BUCKAROO!"
Mark held a fist out the window while yelling "WHOOOOOOO!!" as Gyro started speeding down the road to get away from their federal offense as soon as possible.
Sure enough, the fire spread, causing a massive explosion. If the gang members survived, their bikes were destroyed at the very least.
Gyro's eye twitched as he gripped harder onto the real, pressing further down onto the gas. "YOU ALL ARE INSANE! WE ARE GOING TO GET ARRESTED!"
"Oh! Don't worry about me! I can easily bail myself out!" Mark laughed while continuing to fist bump outside the window like a madman. Half of his body was out the window too.
Ellie was now stuck in the middle between Mark and Boyd after buckling up, so she didn't have access to a window. "Mark, can you please move over just a tad?"
"Yee" Mark came back into the van and switched seats with Ellie.
She nodded in appreciation before digging out his phone from her purse and chucking it out onto the road. It smashed instantly after hitting the ground at such a high speed.
You could see Mark's mind breaking. He whipped his head to look at Ellie "ELLIE!? WHAT THE FUCK?! THAT WAS MY ONLY PHONE!"
"That is what happens when you flirt with someone else. Especially Gyro." She took out her own phone and chucked that too so he couldn't steal it.
Gloria looked over at Gyro "... Mark was flirting with you?" She wasn't jealous or anything. In fact, she was trying her best to not laugh at the situation.
"I don't want to speak of it. Ever."
At the point Mark was on the brink of crying, using Boyd's shoulder as a tissue. "NOT COOL!"
"It is okay, Mark. That was payback so I forgive you." Ellie smiled. "You do not have to worry about advertising yourself as homosexual to the public anymore. Besides, it is immoral to lie." That bitch just said that after murdering people.
Boyd tried to nudge his dad off of him.
"God. I hate this fucking road trip." Gyro took out the CD they played earlier. You know, the one that played Margaritaville on loop. He blasted it which only made Mark cry harder, but it was enough to drown him out.
Boyd was really starting to like the song so he figured the best way to ignore his father's constant sobbing in his shoulder was to sing along. He made sure to skip over saying "damn" whenever it came up in the song.
Soon enough, a scottish accent joined his karaoke.
"NO GOD PLEASE NO!" Gyro looked in the rearview mirror. "NO! NOOOOO!"
Glomgold's head peeked out from the back. "OI!"
Before anyone could protest or join in on Gyro's screams, a loud siren could be heard from behind them.
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