Confessions

Chapter 20

When we got to the mall in Cape Girardeau or as the locals call it 'Cape', she wanted to go to a dress shop. I shrugged and followed her, taking in the crowded mall. Her face lit up when she saw this small black dress, gleaming through the window.

"You're really going to wear that!" I said sheepishly.

"Why not! I'll look hot, let's find something for you!" She said rummaging through racks. She pulled a few dresses out and I looked at her horrified. She laughed putting them back on the rack.

"What about this one?" She asked, pulling a purple low cut v-neck dress. I gawked, grabbing the dress and putting it against my body.

"I couldn't wear this! I would not look good in it." I pouted. Jess frowned, grabbing the dress.

"You could at least try it on!" She said, smirking, wagging her eyebrows. She laughed, handing me the dress, pushing me towards the dressing room.

"Fine! I will try it on." I said, walking into the dressing room. I took off Jess's tight pants and my shirt. I looked in the mirror and frowned. My stomach was far from flat, my thighs were bigger than I like. I have the body of a damn linebacker!

"Come on Aubrey! I want to see!" She said impatiently, her feet pacing back and forth under my door. I huffed, slipping the dress over my head. It fit perfectly, but it hugged my body tightly. I sighed, there was no way I was going to a party looking like Shrek. I walked out of the dressing room. Jess's jaw dropped, she hopped up and down clapping.

"You look fucking amazing! Oh my god, I wish my body looked this good in dresses that aren't black." She giggled, clapping again.

"Thanks, you don't think I look fat or have a muffin top." I asked self-consciously. She frowned, slapping me gently on the arm.

"Stop already! You are not even fat! You have a little belly and thicker thighs, guys go crazy for that shit nowadays! So embrace it and show Alex your new found confidence!" She praised me. I smiled and decided I'd get this one. I took the dress off, putting it back on the hanger. I dressed and gathered my things. We both walked up to the register, I glanced down at the price tag. Fuck! Two hundred for a dress!

"Jess, I can't afford this dress. Can we just go to Macy's and find something for me." I asked softly.

"No! You have to get this, don't worry I'll buy it and tell my dad I went shopping!" She giggled.

"I cannot let you do that! Hell no!" I pushed. She put both dresses on the counter, shrugging.

"Too bad, when have you ever felt this good about yourself in a dress?" She asked, as I looked at her knowingly. Never.

"Exactly, I am buying it, don't worry about it!" She giggled. I thanked her and grabbed my bag. "Now let's go find shoes!" She chuckled, grabbing her card from the cashier. I shrugged and followed her out of the store. We walked over to a shoe store and I instantly fell in love with a pair of black flats.

"Flats?" She said, looking at me puzzled. "I mean those are really cute, you didn't like these?" She asked, pulling a pair of high black pumps.

"I mean there is snow on the ground, it's not like we are going to a gala. I figured these would be perfect to walk in the snow quickly." I laughed, she shrugged and reassured me we wouldn't be walking too far to the house. I shrugged, grabbing the size eight pumps, walking to the register. She hopped up and down again excitedly.

"You really are going to look fabulous tonight! I am so excited!" She said, grabbing a pair of black Vera Wang peep toes. We purchased our shoes, grabbing our bags. I glanced at my phone, it was almost one. We had been shopping for almost two hours.

"I am starving, let's go get some food from the food court." She said, making her way to the food court.

We sat down at the table eating our mall Chinese food, giggling about tonight. I looked up and saw Evan heading towards us. She followed my gaze, then looked back at me, smiling widely. I chuckled, leaving up to Jess to act like a goofball.

"Hey Aubrey! How are you?" He said, sitting down, glancing over at Jess smiling.

"I am good, here again?" I said jokingly, smiling at him.

"Yeah, grabbing a few last minute Christmas presents. Why are you back so soon?" He asked, fiddling with his fingers.

"Oh, I was just grabbing an outfit for Smith's party. Are you going?" I pried. Jess sat in silence, still smiling widely. I could kick her, she was so obvious. I rolled my eyes, pulling my attention back to Evan.

"Yeah, I was going to make an appearance. I'll definitely see you there then?" He asked, standing up swiftly, stumbling at little over his feet.

"Definitely. I'll see you later." I said quietly. He smiled, telling Jess and I bye before disappearing into the crowd.

"Girl! He really likes you!" She said giggling. I shook my head, taking a bite of my orange chicken.

"He can't possibly! He has a girlfriend and I mean he knows he has no chance. I am with Alex." I said, chewing on an eggroll.

"Do you really think guys care about that sort of thing? No! They want who they want." She said, taking a sip of her drink.

"Yeah, but I have Alex and he has a girlfriend." I said, really emphasizing that he had a girlfriend, rolling my eyes.

"How do you even really know he does? Have you ever seen her? What's her name?" She questioned, taking a bite of her choi mein. I sighed, rolling my eyes again.

"Jess, I've seriously only hung with Evan one time and it was by accident. He just happened to be at the quarry when I left my house out of anger. He never asked me to hangout with him again, nor did he ask me on a date before I got back with Alex. So, I don't really care if he likes me. He should've said something when we ate lunch together the first time. I mean he is very attractive and smart as fuck, but I don't there's just something about Alex. It's a feeling I can't explain, but I know I'll never get over getting to lick those sexy fucking abs of his." I giggled, licking my lips. Jess's eyes got big and a huge smile spread across her face. She playfully swatted at me, placing her napkin on her plate.

"You're so mean, I would've seen if he was better before I just jumped back on Alex. Alex was the safe choice, Evan was probably a smarter choice. You love who you love and regardless of what I say. You chose who you truly wanted. Alex is really handsome, it's the jawline, I'm telling you. You finished?" She giggled again, as I nodded. She grabbed my empty plate, throwing it in the trash.

"Yes, let's get back to your house and figure out how I am going to walk in these fucking five inch heels you made me get!" I giggled, standing up with my tray. I grabbed Jess's tray and placed the trays on top of the bin. She followed slowly behind me and we headed towards the entrance.

As we headed to Jess's car, I thought about what she said. I know it was purely based on our previous relationship. Her and Emma had to nurse me and care for me over the summer, I was a blubbering mess. I was truly devastated, but he was a lot different now, he actually has been a better boyfriend. He went out of his way to make me feel special lately, inviting me to his parents, the gala. Taking me on random dates, going to the farm and riding horses. I just feel like his family isn't going to come around. That his father will always see me as some dimbwit, poor person. Why was this coming up now? It really is because of last night with his family. I understood her feelings and respected them but I knew who I wanted from the beginning and nothing was going to change that. Not money. Not social status. I learned in my younger years, seeing Jess grow out of her brattier years, that money isn't happiness and you don't need it to be happy. I wanted tonight to help clear my negative thoughts and have a good time. Tonight was going to be one helluva night.