Confessions

Chapter 31

When he got off on the Carbondale exit, he turned right heading to the restaurant. I peered out the window, at the college kids sitting in a booth at a dinner. I admired it, but pictured me in New York, sitting with Alex. He sat across from me, rubbing my hand, telling me he loved me. I came back to reality quickly, realizing we were pulling into the restaurant. He pulled his truck in a back parking spot, putting it in park.

"Stay there." He said smiling. I looked at him puzzled, as he took his keys out of the ignition, opening his door. He hopped out of his truck, going around to the back, opening the tailgate. I saw a bouquet of flowers in his hands and my cheeks turned red. He opened my door, handing them to me.

"Alex," I paused, grabbing them, inhaling their floral scent. "Thank you. Thank you so much, you're so sweet." I said, stepping down and hopping out of the truck. I shook the snow off of them, smiling up at him again.

"I saw them yesterday and figured if I left them in the snow they'd stay alive for an extra day." He shrugged, as I put my arm through his. He led me into the restaurant, asking for a table in the back. The hostess led us past a group and a couple to a booth in the back. I sat the flowers next to me, as I slid in the booth. He slid in, taking his jacket off and putting it next to him.

"It smells so good in here." I said, pulling my jacket off, as my stomach grumbled. The hostess came back with a basket of chips and a cup of salsa. "Thank you." I said sweetly.

Alex grabbed a chip, dipping it in the salsa and tossed it in his mouth.

"So, did she tell you anything else?" He asked, as he finished chewing. I sighed, I knew he was going to ask eventually.

"Yeah, I leave the sixth." I pause, watching his face sadden. "I have to take my finals on the fifth, before I leave. I don't even know how my mother got my teachers and the principle to do that. I mean the semester starts on the tenth there. I already packed, that's what I was doing earlier." I said softly. His eyes just stared at me for a second, taking in my sadness. He slid his arm across the table, pulling my fingers into his.

"It's going to be okay, I promise. Things are fucked up right now, but we still have college and it's not like we are going to stop talking. I don't want to break up because of this, Aubrey, I can come spring break. We have the summer and then senior year is going to fly by. Then we will be on campus, right back with each other." He said in a hopeful voice. I wanted all of this to be true, but I had my doubts. Months without sex? Could he really do it? The waitress came up to us, asking if we were ready. Alex and I ordered, waiting for her to come back with our drinks.

"I want so much for that to be the way this happens, but how can I expect you to wait for me? I can't, I can't make you do that Alex." I say, as the waitress came back with our drinks, setting them on the table. She placed the straws next to cups, grabbing the empty chip basket and salsa.

"Would you like more?" She asked, placing the items on her tray. Alex nodded and she walked over grabbing a new basket of chips and salsa. She set it on the table, letting us know our meal would be out shortly. I just smiled at her. I was trying to feel better, but the longer this conversation went on the sadder I got.

"I want to wait, this is my choice too Aubrey. You're it, you're the one for me." He said softly, his eyes watering slightly. I slid my hand across the table, grabbing his.

"We are in highschool, you haven't even experienced life after it. Let's make a pact here and now, that whatever happens we stay friends. That even if life separates us, we always find a way back to each other. Even if it's just as friends." He scowled, squeezing my hand tightly.

"I don't just want to be your friend Aubrey, but if it will put your mind at ease. Deal." He said, pulling my hand to his lips, kissing softly.

"I just want to be realistic. I mean this wasn't supposed to happen until next year, with it happening at the worst time.."I paused, pushing the tear from the corner of my eye, careful not to smear my make-up. "I just can't believe it's really happening, that she actually went through with it." I said, letting go of his hand, grabbing a napkin. I dabbed at the corners of my eye again, looking at him with a hopeful smile.