Confessions

Chapter 1

The summer flew by quickly, Jess, Emma and I had gone up to St. Ann's last week and got our junior schedules. We walked through the commons, sitting at one of the tables. The first day of school was always a pain, getting your books from the library, getting your new lockers. Seeing people, you didn't want to see.

"Ugh, I forgot I have English after lunch, it's fucking bullshit." I whined, glancing at Jess's schedule.

"Well at least we have geology together, that's a good thing. Plus, we all have P.E together." Her sweet mousey voice coated my anxiety. Emma scoffed, pushing her curled black hair out of her face.

"Well P.E doesn't even count because we usually split after they take attendance. You both always have classes together and I'm stuck with me, myself and I." Emma whined, rolling her eyes. I chuckled cynically, inhaling in frustration.

"Well, you two have lunch together. I'm going to have to sit with fucking Marcy Simms again." I complained, folding my schedule, and tucking it in my back jean pocket. They both laughed, hugging me tightly before they wandered off to their first periods. I hurriedly walked to my locker, scrolling through my phone on social media. When I felt a slam into my shoulder, I looked up, furrowing my brow.

"Hey! Watch..." I paused, her face lighting up. Kristen Snyder was a short blonde, with piercing blue eyes and a killer body to match. Her full breasts coming out of the top of her Marc Jacobs crop top. She smirked, tucking a short blonde curl behind her ear, adjusting her black leather jacket.

"Oh, look at what we have here. The fat homely girl." She cackled, her friends joining in on the fun.

"How does it feel to know you lost?" The words cutting into my still open wounds. She crossed her arms over her well-endowed chest, smirking maliciously at me. I scoffed, pushing past her and her little pose.

"Don't worry! I will keep him warm at night!" She howled across the hall as I turned the corner. My heart sank, I knew I would run into him eventually, it was just a matter of when.

After lunch I ran to the bathroom, looking into the mirror. The dark circles rounding my eyes as I splashed water on my face, my long thick brown hair was straight. I pulled at my black midriff top, tugging it down. My large breasts felt squished down. I need a bigger size for these fucking things. I walked out of the bathroom, finding my way to my English class, sitting in the first seat in the front row. I grabbed my notebook and pencil from my messenger bag, setting them on my desk. I looked up at him, his sweet eyes locked in on mine. His tall, toned frame showing through his tight black tee, his shaggy brown hair flipped to the side. I sunk down in my chair, cutting my eyes from him. He walked to the back of the classroom, his gaze still on me. I could feel it burning through my back as I opened my notebook to a fresh page. Mrs. Kemp walked in promptly, as the bell rang loudly in my ears.

"Okay, I am going to pass around a syllabus for the class, giving you all a timeline of what we have planned for the year." She cheerfully said, passing each row a handful of copies. I turned, Alex's eyes meeting mine again as I handed the girl behind me the copies of the syllabus. He smiled softly, his white teeth sparkling. I quickly turned forward, trying to pretend like I hadn't noticed him trying to get my attention. I am glad there are only two periods left. I sighed, looking over the syllabus cautiously.

The bell rang and I gathered my things slowly, in hopes that Alex would walk out before me. I finished shoving my notebook and pencil in my messenger bag. I stood up, glancing towards the back of the room. He was gone and a wash of relief overcame me as I walked out of the classroom.

A few months later...

It was the second week of October and weeks away from midterms. Alex and I had been broken up for months now and I guess it killed me more than I let on. I missed the smell of his earthy cologne, his dark shaggy brown hair, and golden hazel eyes; that sometimes changed to green. The way he made me laugh and how easy he made things seem. It made me wish back to when things were easy. When I found out from Jessica at the Dairy Queen in town, that he slept with that skank bitch, Kristen. I thought I officially lost my mind. How could he do this to me? I thought he cared about me, I thought I was the only one. When I approached Alex, he couldn't even look me in the eye. There was part of me that didn't understand why, why I still fucking felt the way I did about him. There was a part of me that also wanted revenge, but I knew I'd never do it. I know things would work themselves out in the end.