One Thing Girl

Chapter 51 "Dear Niall"

Dear Niall,

      Around two years ago I was sitting on my living room couch eating pop corn with my best friend while we drank some coke and channel surfed. There was nothing new to watch on TV, so we decided to just change the channel until something good came on, that’s when we came across this one channel where these boys were being announced, One Direction they said. “Wait. Stop.” I remember Mari call out. I removed my finger from the control, and sat back onto the couch. These five boys stood in a line outside by a pool on a sunny day. “I think this is X-factor” Mari announced to me. “X-What?, I told her.” She looked at me and said “The singing show you know?” I honestly didn’t know much about it, but I had seen some of the commercials. “Leave it here. I want to watch this. They’re pretty cute right?” she told me. I turned my attention back to the boys on my TV screen.  That’s when one of the boys put the microphone to his mouth and started singing “Thought I saw a girl brought to life…” Not only was his voice amazing but he was really cute and automatically caught my attention. His hair was long and straight combed to the side and he had this really cute birthmark on his neck. Next thing I know the one with the curly hair stepped forward and started singing as well, another great voice. “Nothing’s fine I’m torn” Bam, the last three boys in the back stepped forward and all started harmonizing. My inside’s started tingling, it was beautiful. There was a boy with dark hair and pierced ears, one with brown long hair to the side just like the first boy who had started the song, and finally in the corner stood one with blonde hair and from where I was sitting looked like blue eyes. He was singing the harmony, and holding his free hand up to his heart. I turned to Mari and said “OMG, I think I’m in love.” She turned to me and said “Me too best friend, me too.” And that’s the day our lives were in for a grand change.

     So these boys didn’t end up winning the competition although they got to the final. What they ended up winning was the hearts of so many people and as their fandom grew so did their fame. Their first songs started playing on the radio and I remember me and Mari screaming our buts off every time we herd their voices come out the speakers of our radios. The walls in our room started filling up with posters of them from top to bottom and finally in November of 2011 the walls were also filled with their music as we played their album on repeat for hours. When found out they were coming to Ireland I think we almost had a heart attack from pure excitement. We sat in front of our computers for hours trying to get the best tickets we could. After about 4 hours or so we finally got some, Section 3, Row 9, seat’s 6 & 7. I think we cried ourselves to sleep that night. But it was so worth it.

    “Do you think, they’ll notice us?” I remember asking Mari who was lying down next to me on my bed, the night before the concert. “Never say never.” She said and rolled over to her side reaching for the lamp and turning off the lights. “Good Night best friend, tomorrow we have a grand day ahead. We need some rest, anything can happen.” She told me.

Niall do you believe in love at first sight? I never really knew what to answer when someone asked me. I always thought how can you love someone with just one look?  How is that with just looking into someone's eyes you know there the one? But since I never had it happen to me, I was never sure on what to believe. Until I was standing a few feet away from these five boys, One Direction, and the cute blonde one was looking straight at me. At first I thought he was probably looking at someone else. A pretty girl behind me or something and I was sure of that when the security guard grabbed the girl behind me as one of the boys said they wanted to sing a song to one of their fans and that girl was being picked. Of Course till you spoke out. I remember your exact words. “I would love to sing to you babe, but I actually had my eye on the lovely one in front of you with the glasses.” I hope I didn’t look as how I felt inside as I walked up to the stage, towards you, Niall. It felt like a dream. As I felt your touch against my skin while you wiped away those stupid tears, I thought “Maybe love at first sight really does exist.” Then you hugged me and I felt like that was the place I belonged, between your arms, and every time you hugged me after that, even now, I still feel the same.

Niall that night was the best day of my life. You noticed me out of all those girls in the room, me, Jade. Of course after you didn’t text me I started believing you just wanted me for something else. I was actually heartbroken. Stupid love at first sight I thought. Then you show up on my street like 3 days after the concert, boy was I mad at you. But I let you talk. Of Course after you kissed me. We got to know each other better after that one day and the day after that was even better. Heck we even got our best friends together. Even now as I think back on the concert it still feels like a dream, a beautiful dream.

 Behind my smile the day before the last we saw each other; so many things were going through my head. Things I was scared of letting you know. Yes I was selfish, why? Well, because all over the web I was being talked about, in both and good and bad ways. I didn’t pay much attention to the good ones as I did to the bad ones. People were calling me some really nasty words, and spreading some nasty rumors. I didn’t like it at all and I thought you being the happy person that you are weren’t going to be able to handle it. I thought by being with you, I was going to ruin your career. I was going to bring your good spirit down and bring drama that you didn’t need to your life. But it was me who couldn’t handle it, not you at all and I realize that now.

It wasn’t just that Niall, I was scared. I was so scared to Love, and to be loved. So I made a very selfish decision. It broke my heart to watch tears fill your gorgeous eyes as I told you I didn’t feel the same. All I wanted to do was hug you and say you’re right I’m lying. But at the time I thought that was the right decision. But it was just a selfish one. As you started to say you thought you loved me, I couldn’t take it anymore. So I ran and left you behind. I’m so sorry.

 I tried to get over you but I just couldn’t. When I would hear your voice or something would remind me of you my heart would ache with pain. Pain I caused myself. I never once tried getting over you by going out with someone else. I just want to make that clear. That one picture you saw of me with a boy you misunderstood completely. You should actually be thankful to him, Alec, by the way. He helped me realize something. Something I was too stupid to figure out on my own. He’s one of the reason's I decided to come to New York. Until I saw some pictures of you and Camille, you looked happy. I didn’t want to take that away from you. I didn’t expect you to wait for me forever. I thought this is what you get Jade for being so selfish. Yes it broke my heart, but I was happy you were happy.

Then Mari gave me the silver box. You know the one you had given me at the airport. When I opened it and took the necklace out a little piece of paper fell out. Do you remember what it said?

“I Love you Jade, don’t you ever forget that. –Niall”

Those first three words are the main reason I am here today. The reason I wrote this letter you are reading right now. You don’t need to explain about Camille anymore, she told me everything. We’ve actually been hanging out these past days she’s a lovely girl. I really like her. Guess I should thank you for our friendship. Weird how things turn out isn’t it?

So remember how I was telling you that Alec helped me figure out something? Well that something is that, I Love you Niall. Yes that’s right, you read it correctly. Niall James Horan, I Love you with everything I’ve got. I was just too stupid and selfish to realize it. I think I loved you since that night at the concert, really loved you. This helped me realize that, love at first sight does exist. So now when someone asks if I believe, I won’t hesitate to say I do.

 I never wished to hurt you, I thought by letting you go I would save you from pain but it was the complete opposite. Please forgive me. Remember the promise you made me? Please keep to it, at least until the time is right for you to look. I’ll meet you half way, and if you still feel the same hopefully we’ll meet in the middle. You’ll know when. I promise. I’ll probably be the one wearing an N shaped charm necklace.

Until we meet again, Mr. I’ll kiss you later.

Love Always,

Jade.