You're So Golden |H.S|

Chapter 85

You thought that I'd be weak without you,
but I'm stronger. You thought that I'd be broke without you, but I'm richer. You thought that I'd be sad without you, I laugh harder.

You thought I wouldn't grow without you, now I'm wiser. Thought that I'd be helpless without you,
but I'm smarter. You thought that I'd be stressed without you, but I'm chillin'

***

January 31st

Strength. The quality or state of being strong.

Throughout my entire life, ever since I was a little girl, when I looked at myself in the mirror I saw the same thing in my reflection, and throughout all those years, I was never confident in calling myself strong.

I thought because of the tears in my eyes and my failed attempts at defending myself against my father I was considered weak because I could never defend myself.

The world felt like it was collapsing around me and because of the constant tears and the sad reflections I saw in my mirror, I overlooked what strength truly meant.

That all changed today.

After speaking to Harry last night and after sitting down and thinking about everything that has happened these past few days when I woke this early morning, I have come to terms with the fact that I am and always have been strong.

Harry might not think I'm capable of protecting myself and he might think I need him to be the one to save me, but that's far from the truth, and that's something that only I need to be comfortable knowing.

I don't need to prove anything to anybody other than myself and because of the proof that I want to show to myself, I made a decision I never would've made even days ago.

Today, I decided to do something on my own, and that being said, nobody knows where I am or what I'm doing, and I for once in a very long time, feel like myself again.

A better version of myself.

That's why I'm now walking over to the black SUV with tinted windows in an empty parking lot, so early in the morning, the sun is just barely coming up, as the crickets chirp and the stars shine dimly.

Pulling on the door handle, without saying a word, I climb into the passenger seat and keep my eyes ahead as I feel his burning into my skin from the corner of my eye.

"I didn't think you'd come" Marco speaks in a shocked tone as he looks ahead at the empty park swings that sway back and forth from the strong gust of wind in an eerie creaking matter.

"Neither did I," I admit nonchalantly, resting my head back against the leather headrest while I lift my leg and rest my knee on the side of the car door, "but surprise here I am" I finally look back over at him to see a wide smirk slowly grow on his face.

Nodding his head, he unbuckles his seatbelt and rests his head back against the headrest as he turns over and looks at me again, "what made you change your mind?"

"Ash threatened to kill my dad, my dad threatened to kill Ash, Harry and I are arguing, you have no purpose in any of this whatsoever so when you told me you knew more than I knew, I thought I might as well hear you out, and if you end up killing me well then it is what it is" I ramble, rocking my head back and forth as I talk like each thing is no big deal.