You're So Golden |H.S|

Chapter 26

Caleb went into his room after we talked and I still don't know where the other boys are but I have a feeling they don't want to speak to me right now. 

I don't blame them though.

Harry's probably coming down from his high right now. Ashton's probably thinking of ways to send me back home and i'm a complete mess.

Everything was going so well.

We were all laughing and we had a good day and I thought maybe just maybe this could be life for a while but then within a few minutes everything changed again.

The loud yelling, the constant crying, the red eyes, and the hurt feelings.

I didn't want any of that. I doubt anybody did. 

Nobody asked for this yet here we all are trying our best to work our way around our issues just so we can keep each other safe.

Just so they can keep me safe. 

I can't help but feel guilty. What if this is my fault? What if Harry's doing all of this because of what my family has put him through? 

I couldn't ever forgive myself.

Looking at the situation it's a no brainer what I probably should do but I just can't. 

I've made promises to people I can't break so whether Harry wants me here or not i'm still going to be here. 

This is the closest place I have to home and these are the closest people I have to family. 

This whole time, thirteen years, he's gone out of his way and looked after me to make sure I was safe. What kind of person would I be if I didn't return the favor?

I know I can't force him to get help. I can't sit him down and just tell him to stop because he won't and that's not what he wants to hear. 

He just has to see the person he's capable of being without it. Who he could be hurting when he does it and what he could do with his life without it. 

I don't know if i've met that person yet but I want too. 

I want to see the boy Caleb grew up with and adores. I want to see Ashton's best friend. I want to see the last person that was there with my mom. 

The boy that sang her to sleep as she took her last few breaths. 

I know he's in there and i'm sure he's terrified but he's sick. He can't help what he's doing without a little push from someone else. 

It's not my job to fix him because you can't be fixed but it's my choice to try and open up his eyes. Make sure he sees what the people who care about him see.

The annoying older brother Caleb loves to hang out with and frustrate.

The best friend Ashton had growing up.

The gentle boy that likes to paint nails, brushes through my hair, and holds me tight in his arms when he can't get close enough. 

That's the goal. To get that boy back.

Not only for me but for the broken boy I just spoke to that misses his brother. 

He needs this the most because if he were to lose him he'd lose everything he's ever known. I know that feeling but the difference is I had other family to go running to.

They're all they have.

Pulling myself up off the ground I wiped my eyes and walked back into the kitchen. Looking around I tried to find someone but nobody was around.