𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐛𝐨𝐲 || seongsang

40 ◌ 부서진 마음

"You have no reason to be worried about me, wooyoung." Yeosang spoke up, clearly done with the younger questioning about each of his movements. He knows wooyoung is worried and means no harm, but he can't help but think as if he had pity for him. "I'm perfectly fine."

Wooyoung opened his mouth to say something, but yeosang's eyes were quick to dart to the table just a few inches away from them as he noticed pieces of small papers - burnt. He took a few steps forward as he focused on them, his irises grew when he took glimpse of a few words of the letter seonghwa had left him before he left.

"Yes. I did it." Wooyoung said nonchalantly as yeosang grabbed a piece of the paper, but as soon as he did the paper turned into cinder and his heart skipped a beat.

"Fucking hell, woo." He turned, looking at the other in total disbelief and shock. "Why did you do that? That was the only thing I had from seonghwa left!"

"Because I'm damn tired, yeosang!" Wooyoung raised his voice, letting his emotions take over as it was the moment he couldn't stay shut anymore. "Why can't you just stop? Why can't you just stop and move on?! Seonghwa's long gone. The boy freaking used you. He dumbed you and then threw you away! Who knows who he fucks right now... and you're still running after him like a fucking slut!"

Wide-eyed, yeosang looks up at him as realizes these were the few unspoken words the younger never got to say in the past few years. But now, he said it straight to his face and it hit him like a bullet. He hates himself for crying so easily, but he managed to stop the tears before it was too late. Staying silent - he walks forward and gets hold of wooyoung's arm, drags him with himself and opens the door, then throws him out.

"Don't come back until you get your shit together." He slammed the door on his face. With all the shouts and apologies coming from the other side of the door, he chose to ignore and rushed upstairs to their shared bedroom, throwing himself on the bed and curling up into a ball.

✘

Seonghwa sits down on the couch in the living room as he puts his face in his hands, thinking about whatever happened between him and yeosang the night before.

He doesn't regret it a bit, even if he knows he just cheated on his fiancé for six months. Last night felt magical, and probably is for yeosang, too. But how could he love someone else when all he can think about is yeosang?

It's almost crazy to admit how he never stopped loving the younger for a split second through years, and how he still feels the same. He loves yeosang, and nothing can ever change that.

But right now, his life is messy and complicated - drifted apart like pieces of thrown away papers. There's no need to question the capability of living in one of the throbbing hells that's all covered in darkness and fire.

He leans back on the chair and looks up at the ceiling for a while, pondering about how he could probably turn his life back up. It sucks to admit - to admit that even with all the hurtful words rolling out the younger's mouth, he still feels guilty and shameful.

While positioning himself with one leg on the other, one hand on his thigh rubbing it back and forth anxiously - biting his bottom lip as all he could see was the plain ceiling with a bunch of white light bulbs hung on the wall.

It's definitely yeosang's right to be mad at him. Ever since he got back from america, he couldn't help but question how it will be to see the others pissed and angry at him. Honestly, he wasn't one to care about what the others could think of him. The only problem was yeosang - and how long the ride to forgiving the older actually is.