Chapter 9

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Guilt

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Guilt.

Shame.

Excitement.

Pride.

Surprise.

I felt a surge of confusing emotions swirling through my mind. I felt guilty to deflower an innocent woman, excited for knowing her impression about my performance and proud when I saw her wobbling. 'If you know what I mean.'

I chuckled, thinking about all those things. However, I was surprised when I watched her leaving my place without even glancing back at me. Heck, she didn't even react about it by maybe slapping me or something.

I just stood there staring at her retreating figure when suddenly she slammed my front door really hard in the process. I flinched because of that loud bang and looked at the breakfast I made for certain someone who also happened to ditch me at my own house.

It's always the other way around. I was the one to abandon girls after finishing off with them. But today, it seemed like I was getting the taste of my own medicine. I was left by that young woman while her scent still lingered in the confines of my place, torturing my senses.

I ran my hands on my face in clear frustration. I was feeling disturbed and cursed myself for acting like a lost puppy. I could sense my guilt heightening every passing second after watching her cry. I was sober and aware of the fact that she was tipsy. I should have handled and kept myself together. But being a jerk that I was for sleeping with countless wonderful women in the past, I'd never come across someone who's so elegant and glorious.

She was just like a fairy. I memorized her beautiful face, ocean blue eyes, plump lips and body. Her body was heavenly and I wanted nothing more than to worship her if ever she allowed me to. That lavender smell she carried with her and the way her body fit perfectly with mine along with her sweet voice was enough to cloud my mind.

I was certain that this particular woman has dumped me already and I could never get to see or touch her again. She was a complete stranger because I knew nothing about her. Not even her name.

“God, I feel like a stalker now.” I groaned, facepalming and knowing exactly where my stupid brain was taking me. “Zearo, get back to your usual routine. This is not new to you, damn it!” I said, cursing myself and flopped on my bed. I absent-mindedly shoved a piece of bacon in my mouth.

I just couldn't get her sad face out of my head. All I wanted was to hold and give her some comfort. I wanted to assure her that I didn't take advantage of her drunk state and I was more than ready if ever she wished for me to support her, her entire life. But she would have killed me if I uttered even a single word at that moment. I was literally sweating in front of her. I could feel my heart beating really fast as I was imagining my future with her even after knowing that my past would kill her. I just couldn't help myself.

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