Flashbacks (On Hold)

Flip A Coin

      I later found out I was suspended from school for 4 days. I sat in my room alone thinking about my suckish life. I didn't even do anything wrong! I mean, my ex-girlfriend spreaded fake rumors around, saying that I hit her. Now everybody hates me. Then my dad actually, sort of did those things. He slapped me. And hit me on the back. Also, he put mental bruises into my mind. Isn't he going to be a great mayor! My hints of sarcasm in my words are easy to find, you know. A mayor who hits his own son. I'm not saying I want pity. I want understanding. No, I need understanding. No judgement included. No one will give that stuff because I'm a rich kid. Rich kids 'have everything' right? Wrong. So very, very wrong indeed. 

        I pulled out my lighter and some weed. It makes everything okay. Right? I walked outside. I sat down against the tan brick blocks. I put some weed in my mouth. Got my lighter and lit it. I breathed in the smoke, then exhaled. I pulled the little trigger on my lighter then held it up in the air. I don't know why but it felt right. Then I started to think a little again. I think I act good. Well even if I don't, I pretend to act good. I have had over fifty girlfriends I think. It's either they broke up with me beacuse I was high, I was 'flirting with other girls' or just like Jules, they date me because, well, they use me to be 'popular'. I hate that. Why am I alive? Why am I alive when everyone around me, hates me? Why am I alive even when I hate myself? I thought it all over. I want to undo all this pain. Or at least try. No. I am not going to try. I am not going to try to end my life. I thought of all the reasons I should not try. My family, not including my dad. My future. But, I sort of don't care about that either. Music. Maybe that could be my career Hunter, Frankie, and my mom. That thought will echo in my head forever... Now, all the reasons I should leave. My dad. The campain, the stupid campain. School, all the people that hate me because they think I am a suckish asshole. I could just flip a coin and decide. But, I wasn't. There was an obvious choice. So I reached for it.

        I made my decison. I got rid of the weed. I knew my mind wasn't going to go high. I went up into my room and started to pace back and forth. I opened up my closet door. I reached for it. I haven't used it in a while. I started to play. Just in case you didn't know. It was my accoustic guitar. I started to play the chords to 'I Miss You' by Blink182. Music was one of the only things I could turn to.

        I heard the downstairs door close. "Miles!" It was my dad. "Uh, one minute." I hid my guitar in my closet. That brought back some old time memories. My mom bought me that guitar when I turned twelve. She got it for me even when my dad said no. Why wouldn't a dad want his loving son to play guitar? Well, he hated the sound. He said I would just give up right away when I got it. But he was wrong. I looked up videos on how to play. Once, I even played in front of Frankie and Hunter. Hunter actually looked up from his computer for once to listen and enjoy my beautiful music. "Miles!" he called out again. "I'm coming just wait." I yelled down to him. I shoved the guitar in my closet, trying not to make any noise and headed downstairs.