Flashbacks (On Hold)

Find The Real Me Inside

        I was working outside on some math homework. It was really hard, like my life right now. My cello was leaning on the little wall by some plants. I was alone for once in awhile. Until, I hear a noise and I have to look up. I see Zig. We haven't spoken since the party. He had an angry look on his face, pure anger and hurt. I know what that looks like because I've seen it before. "Don't go." I felt like I was growling. "Maya, I don't want to fight with you!" I closed my book and got up. "And, I don't want to fight with you either!" I yelled back. "It sounds like to me that we are fighting!" I threw my book to the side and got near him. To many problems, maybe this was one I could fix. "Look, I'm sorry I posted the video! Okay? I took it down it's all over!" He got near me. "I can't believe you like that tool, Harry." He kind of whispered in an upset tone. "I don't even know him!!" I screamed. "Then why do you like him!" I faced up to the truth, right then and there. "Because, he never said, no!" We both went quiet for a minute, or two. "Maya, this isn't you." he tried to look me straight in the eye. I grabbed my hair. Those words are said to many times to me. "I am so sick of everybody telling me that! I'm so sick of people telling me who I'm supposed to be! Even the dumb music director won't, he won't give me a spot Zig!" I let go. He sighed, yet yelled, "Then tell him about Cam!" My feelings came out. The truth came out, "I posted that video for a reason. Why? Because I wanted to! Maybe this is me now!" He shook his head, "No, it's not! You are just mad!" I couldn't take it. I picked up my cello. I give up. "Maya, your parents are going to kill you!" I threw my cello in the garabage. "Maya!" I was going to start crying any momment now. But, I could not feel the tears. "I don't care. I'm quiting, and I am done."

        After that happened I ran inside. I saw Harry by his locker. Who cares about Zig. He doesn't get me. Harry does though. I think? I thought I was suprise him. I put my hand on his shoulder. "Hey! It's possible I am a weird, crazy girl." He laughed and shook his head, "I don't think so." I looked down, and thought about what I should say next. "I chucked my cello in a dumpster." He laughed like he was drunk, "Aren't you proper." I smiled at him. "So, my dad is away at a buisness trip, and my mom and sister are out shopping. Wanna come over? We can watch a movie, or something." Another memory flashed in my mind. Maybe he can just sleep over! No, no, no, no, no! Fine, but when mom and dad come home, this is done. Then another one. This is Hoot. My parents gave him to me when I went to summer camp so I wouldn't get scared at night. It means that you should get your own stuffed animal! Then Cam hit me with a pillow. It wasn't me, man, it was Hoot! I sighed. "Or something." My frown lifted into a smile. Then I looked at his lips. I kissed him. "See you ronight." I said, then walked off.

        We were sitting on the couch. Watching the movie. He got up and started to kiss my neck. I sat up properly, and held him as he was doing it. "So, I guess we aren't going to watch the rest of the movie." I gently squeaked out. "Nope." He lifted his neck from my head. "So we just keep kissing forever?" He flopped down to the other side of the couch. "Or, we can do other stuff." He then pulled me down with him. He started to undo his belt buckle. Oh, god. "I never really did that before, Harry." He smiled, "Just go with it." I didn't hear the door open and close. I heard someone shriek. "What the hell!?!" It was Katie. Mom was in her mobie chair. "Oh, my god!" I was in deep trouble now. We both got up Harry put his belt back on, quickly. "You. Get out. And run." Katie growled. Harry ran out the door as fast as he could. I looked down, and crossed my arms. 

        "You are fourteen years old!" I looked at her. Katie was pacing around. "Brand new information." Katie slapped her head. "Do you think your sassy remarks are appreciated right now?" My mom yelled. Katie stopped pacing to look at me straight in the eyes. "This, and that video you posted on FaceRange!" My mom looked confused all of a sudden. "What video?" Katie looked down at her, then looked back up at me. "Of her and that jerk kissing at a party." My mom looked at me. "What party?" I sneered, "The one I snuck out to. Drew's campaign party." Katie put her hands on her head in anger, "That's perfect!" I stomped one foot. "What can I say? All of us Matlin girls like to get busy at the Torres house! Since we're getting all honest!" She was upset now, "Shut up." I growed, "Make me!" My mom made us quiet down. "Watch your tone, young lady. I don't think you understand how worried we are about you." I rolled my eyes. I am sick of hearing those words. "Can't you just ground me, or whatever so I can go to my room, and be alone?" My mom's tone was quiet and worried, "What is going on with you and this boy?" I uncrossed my arms. "Harry, makes me feel good. Is there something wrong with that!?" I could tell Katie couldn't take me anymore. "It's scary!" I rolled my eyes again. "Scary." She had a tone in her voice that I couldn't figure out. Where is she going to go with this. "Yes, Maya! It's scary for you to be hooking up with some guy you barely know!" My mom tried to stop her. "You can't replace Cam!" I inhaled sadness. "Why not! He broke up with me by killing himself! I hate him! I feel like I'm never going to be happy again! Everyday it just gets worse, and worse, I can't miss him anymore! I can't, I don't want to! He never even said goodbye." All the Cam memories came back. I'm sorry. I'm not coming. It's over. All of it gone, because of that one text. That one decison to leave. To leave everyone, and me. Alone. I was crying. Katie came up to me and held me in her arms. I missed the comfort. This is what I needed. I lied my face in her shoulders. I grabbed her as we both started to sit down. She stroked my hair. I felt what she was trying to get inside my head. "It's going to get better." And that's all I needed to hear.

        Zig and I were outside of the school. Next to each other, confessing everything. 'I'm crazy. I tried so hard not to be, but I couldn't for much longer. Then everything turned into a meltdown." He looked at me and smiled. "That's good." I looked back at him, and nodded. "I wrote to the Youth Orchestra telling them why I posted the video. The worst part about of all of this is, I treated you like absolute crap, Zig. And, I am sorry. You didn't deserve it. Now, I have to go dumpster diving for my cello." I started to get up, but he pulled me back down. "Your cello isn't in the garabage." I got worried. If my parents found out I threw my cello in the trash. I am dead meat. "Oh, no! Did they pick it up already! I'm a dead girl!" He shook his head and started to giggle. "No, I, um, gave it to our French teacher to lock it up in the music room. Just in case you came to your senses." I felt touched and something that I hadn't felt before. "You did that for me?" He nodded. He reached his hand out. I grabbed it. This felt new and exciting. "Maya, saying no to you was more harder than you think for me. The truth of the matter is... I really like you, Maya." I tried to object but he continued. "But, I only want us to happen, is when you are ready." I looked straight into the parking lot. "I don't know when that'll be." He nodded. I looked at him, directly. "I know. So I'll wait." I smiled, he smiled back. I leanded my head on his shoulder. It felt right, no, it was. He leaned his head on my head. He lifted his shoe a little, and we both looked at that. He got up and started to walk to his house. I smiled then looked down at my laptop. Being with Zig felt right. Not Harry. Zig. It was right to be with him.