21 | Part 2 - Birds and Bees

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On the sailing boat at eight am

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On the sailing boat at eight am. California coastline.

On the water, the boat was peacefully still without the Pacific trade wind to fill the sail. As if someone hit pause on the world and it was one of Noah's paintings. The California coastline was a kaleidoscope of blue. Noah steps out of the passenger cabin with a hot cup of coffee. I took the warm cup and the smell mixed with the salty sea was spicy and wonderful.

"Thank you," I tell him as I take the cup. I kiss the side of his cheek just above his beard and lean back into the seat. The overnight bag has me so guilty. It was a conversation we should have had in-depth the first time we had sex. Well, before we had sex. I take another sip of coffee and try to relax my voice so it doesn't squeak when I talk.

"Um, Noah, about birth control," nice job having zero segues into the conversation. Why not prime the pump next time before you jump into the talk? I put my hand into my bag and pulled out the bulk buy condoms. "So, I think we should talk about whether we should use condoms." Marbles fill my mouth as Noah looks out at the ocean. No eye contact doesn't mean this is bad or embarrassing, but I have his attention. He stopped moving.

"Someday you could be with someone else or I could be with someone else. So, condoms should be something we use," I end on a speedy blurt. A low growl in answer from Noah interrupted my jumbled thoughts. What does the growl mean? Does that mean he's upset about him being with someone else? Maybe me being with someone else? Possibly, is not doing the sex thang anymore? Or using a condom? Could this be more than sex for him? I'm his first, and it confuses all the signs. Noah's decryption isn't working. I sigh. Let me try this again.

"Do you realize you're so goddamn handsome, Noah? Women are going to throw themselves at you. Hell, they already do." He turns around and makes eye contact. Ocean blue and completely puzzled. Noah tilts his head to the side as if I'm bat shit crazy.

"Noah, you're handsome." My voice is a definitive statement. An absolute he's not absorbing at all. His handsome face smiles at me like I'm being nice to him, not stating a fact.

"Average, but I build good stuff," he replies with a rumbly deep voice. He does not understand he's hot. Oh shit. Besides that being adorable. He has no fucking idea. It's like I'm having a bird and bee's conversation with an almost thirty-year-old man. No longer virgin though, so...

"Er, do you know how to put on a condom?" I stumble through the question.

"I have never used one. Sex Ed was a long time ago," he replies awkwardly. Red creeps up his neck. Can this get more embarrassing? One of those hothouse cucumbers would come in handy right now. I never got a good look at Noah's..... cock. I mean, we've been fucking like teenagers. Just cock into pussy as fast as humanly possible.

"It's important that you know how to do this for me... Please."

"Do we need to use a condom together?" Noak asked. The tip of a frown is plain to see on Noah's face and he's not happy with this development.

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