A broken marriage.
A new job.
She works as a Personal Assistant on the ForNoah Youtube channel.
Noah is on the autistic spectrum and she fixes things for him.
He's a shipwright and creates beautiful works of art.
She's a woman starting over who meet...
I turned off each light in my tiny apartment. The overhead stove light glows softly. I grab the glass of water I put in the fridge to keep cool. The cool water touches my parched lips and a drink slowly. It's funny how something without flavor could taste so bitter. I love coffee with unholy glee. It could be the worst version in the world and I'd still kind of like it. I haven't been able to drink coffee since breaking up with Noah. He would make me this amazing cup of coffee every day. Toasting beans, grinding it daily, and with a French Press, it was next-level coffee. But Noah didn't drink coffee he did it just for me. I've never had a man learn to do something simply because I loved it. It was always a little shocking for me every morning thinking about it. When I woke up every morning, coffee would be by my bed in the morning or he would bring it to me. I love coffee before bed. The coffee buzz had no effect on me. I was a proud addict. It was like drinking hot chocolate before bed.
All of Noah is gone now. My choice, my fault. I head to my bathroom. Let the cold shower water run. It's a good part of Sacramento at the edge of the same school district but the apartment building is old. The water heater needs to be replaced. I sit the empty glass in the sink. I brush my teeth spitting out the cold water. My braided hair and dark brown accusing eyes always stare me back in the mirror. Steam rose from the shower, covering everything in the mirror but my eyes. It's been more than a month and the guilt of ending it so ugly with Noah never went away. I couldn't look at myself anymore, nothing but guilt and longing. Those eyes never change when I look back. It's always mine. I enter the shower, closing the curtain behind me. The loop starts always when I'm alone. Why couldn't you have talked to him before? It wouldn't have changed the fact that I was ending it, but ...
But... is such an ugly fucking word.
I was never the type to be fine with Mr. Right Now. That was going nowhere, and it wasn't healthy for me or my family long-term. It was the right thing for me. But...
Hot water flows down my naked back. Heated water glides down between my breast over my nipples and I shiver. Dark brown coated in moving slickwater swirling into the drain, disappearing. It had been so long and all these Noah thoughts had my mind spinning. As the soap moved over my body, I tried not to think about him. But it was a losing battle, so I thought about a nameless man. But he was 6'7 and huge behind me, just like Noah. My warm forehead pressed hard against the cool shower tile. My hand skimmed over my nipples and the hot water poured down my body. A head full of confusing longing and at the same time pushing him away. This nameless man who was and wasn't Noah at the same time.
My spicy fingers travel down, slipping when I touched. I was slick and hot fast the way he always got me. In that way, he had with me as if my body had no breaks. It had been a while since I last... As if water had finally arrived after the driest of California summers. And my body was drinking him down, even if it was only the watery hint of his memory. That first silent, voiceless moan was for him, and it was guilty. So, god damn guilty intertwine with my silk-coated fingers and the pleasure. The bluest of ocean-colored roses with the bloodiest of thorns. But I pulled my thoughts away from him, burn from the heat of just a hint of his memory.
It had been so long... I shut my eyes so tight.
Focus, concentrate only on the feeling of working between my legs. The patter of water hitting the drain, my hips rocking. My questing finger worked that needy spot that had not been touched since the last time we were together. I was close, but at this loop of not getting there. This plateau of feelings. It was good, but I need more. I needed... A flash of sandy blonde hair and the sweetest of ocean blue eyes. Water... his thick thumb flicking across my clit. His wide fingers thrust forcefully inside me, spreading me out just right. I moan so quietly, my feverish forehead against the wet shower tile. The taste of Noah on my lips, drowning.
I wanted one more time. My guilty heart wanted it so bad. Stolen under the water for only me, everything inside me extended towards him for a little more. As I gasp for air, that wouldn't fill my thirsty lungs. The taste of Noah was in my mouth, and his touch slid and slipped between my greedy fingers. Noah's beard is against the tip of my nose. The grunts he made when he was getting the last juicy part out of me in just the way he knew how. My mind did the only thing it could as my core exploded. Cuming hard on his fingers in a way I had done so many times before. My core stretched for his touch that final step. I reached for him, but the orgasm faded. All that was there was my forehead being cooled by the tile and the hot water rolling down my back. No, Noah, no sweet kisses on my neck when I came. No gentle beard, scratchy smile against my cheek as he milked the last tiny bit of my pleasure from me.
No, Noah... only the crushing guilt.
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A/n: yeah.. this is still a thirst trap. All is well in the world. Remember to share and star the story. It helps it get to more people. Comments are always read and welcome. Again, welcome back to ForNoah. Missed all of you.
