Fixing Noah / Finding Noah - #ForNoah | +18 | BWWM

14 | Part 1 - It was Weird

It was weird when Noah met Sara. He towered over her, but Noah kind of towered over just about everyone. His eye contact was missing, and it reminded me so much of the first time we met it was painful to watch.

"Noah, this is Sara. She's your new Personal Assistant," I said with as much pep as I could manage. "Sara, this is Noah Jude." Sara stretched her hand out for a shake. She had a bright smile, the kind of smile that should be in a Gap ad. But Noah looked at the hand as if it was covered with plague. Took a polite step back, nodded, and then went back to my kids at the piano. Sigh, I told her about touching. He's different about touching people he doesn't know. He's even different about touching people he does know. I think the habit got a hold of her at the moment of meeting him. I'm a shaking hands with a person type too.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked. Her concern was all over her expression.

"No, Noah is..." I didn't have anything to follow up on. I love that man thoroughly and love sometimes isn't enough. But in regards to her meeting with Noah not going off with a bang, well. "My first meeting with him didn't go well either. He can be very contained." I tried to put it in the best way possible. "I think while we're here, can you get some color shots of the kid's art and a little of Noah playing the piano?" I went into business mode. Professional was easy for me to pull off. I needed to make sure she could do my job because Noah's profile had exploded. Frankly, I think if Noah's sister and his agent get away with it, they'd hire more people. Zoey is getting a team at some point and so is Sabali, as both their careers are expanding. Sabali is taking a huge step back from the Learning Center. A big move toward her music, singing and producing career. But it's like Noah as he gets bigger wants less and less to do with the whole business of his life. I don't blame him. Being a semi-public figure isn't fun. At the same time, that's going to require more people to act as a filter for him and the public.

I felt his eyes on me and it was a gaze I knew so well. As he watched me work, grabbing shots with the second camera to speed up Sara's work. His glimpse was fast while he played piano to a song I didn't know. It was pretty though and put the kids in that zen zone kids get in when they hear pretty music. Little Man leans against the piano, his flannel cape dragging on the ground behind him. Sim sits next to Noah, watching his hands as he plays closely. It was if Space girl was trying to memorize the whole thing perfectly. The more I saw of all of them together, the more my gut clenched. The closure with Noah was absolutely necessary. They were getting their goodbye. They needed it. But I made all of this messier than it needed to be in the first place. Maybe a little bit of Sims' perfect tendency didn't just come from her father, but also from me.

"She turn the assignment in but removed the paper? When Sabali handed me the paper, I was a little shocked. At the learning center, they go over homework assignments, the same ones we do at home. They also almost give them the stuff to work on.

"Yes, we have students who come to the center and hide homework. We always contact the teachers for a copy of all homework." I flip through the papers. Sabali didn't bring that home to me to look at. In her handwriting, which always looked better than it should have been for her age. Her habit of perfection showed itself or my love of penmanship. Her name and her answer to the NASA Jr. program. Then, on the next page, her acceptance.

I keep flipping the pages back and forth. Trying to make sense of what I was looking at because I'd never seen this at home. And the uncomfortable feeling that was growing in my gut. That she did this on purpose. I should have at least got one of the assignments if it was an accident. Either her doing it or her getting accepted, and I got neither. Which means...

"I'm not sure why she hides this from you. It's a pretty big deal to get accepted to the NASA Jr. program. Children all over the nation apply every year when they hit grade school. It's been a popular program since it started." She talked about the program and her school teachers. No one from her school had gotten in before and the more she went on, the smaller my world got. It wasn't like Sim to act up. The kid goes out of her way to find the 'perfect' path. Then I figure it out when she got to the cost. "It's paid for except for some expensive." She quoted the price of the rest of the stuff. But it was a lot, and I was on overload. "Skipping a might not be an option for Sim, because math is above average, but it's easiest to fall behind on." She went on talking about all kinda stuff, but her words were a blister of things and I was still on the first thing. Why did she hide it? "She is already in the tutoring problem and her high vocabulary is a sign she might not be challenged enough in school...."

If she hides this from me, she probably hides it from her Father. Then a thought struck me as Sabali was speaking. The cost... If she was to go to the NASA Jr. camp, we'd still have to pay out of pocket, which means we'd end up splitting the cost. Her Theo had a habit of paying for only things necessarily. The extras weren't as important to him. I paid for the tutoring at the center. I assumed someday Sim might want to go to college, and it was a good idea. In the conversation we had about it Sim was listening to it, so this might explain it. So.. yeah...maybe. It could also be that the area we lived in now was filled with rich kids and rich families. The one she came from was more middle class, but this was a better school district. We are not dirt poor per se, but not poor isn't rich. Space Girl understands how much things cost. Maybe.... a little too well.

I put away my shock, pulled up my mom's panties and dig into this problem. Sometimes you just have to let it go and deal with the thing in front of you.

"I think we'll talk more about this at another time, Sabali," I gave her a warm smile. I know she works a shit load of hours. Technically, she has two jobs right on Tour and this. She took out the time to talk to me personally and I appreciate it. The particulars of what to do next aren't as important as my daughter hiding something from me. But first I needed to double-check with her dad to make sure he didn't get the same paperwork. I made a list in my head, checking it twice. Even underline and color-coded tasks in my head. Filing it away correctly to make sure I missed none of the steps. I wasn't simply worried. I was troubled by the whole thing. Sim goes out of her way to not cause problems when it comes to her dad, but she's looser around me. At the same time, she tends to stick tightly to the good girl's perfect side of things. This was so out of character, for it was off-putting. "I need to do something. Can you watch my kids?"

"Sure," Sabali says.

I head out to my car, texting Theo instead of calling. It's a shallow attempt to avoid conflict, but worth it. I need information. Open the door and sat in front of the mom rocket.

Tari: Theo, did you get any NASA Jr. paperwork from Sim?

It took Theo a while to answer, but I sat and waited. Twenty minutes later, staring at the screen.

Theo: No, what is it?

Tari: Space Camp NASA Jr.

I quote him the price for the camp.

Theo: With the new baby, I'm not sure we can afford it.

He didn't even offer to go half, which wasn't that shocking at all. I wasn't looking for money out of him for the camp. It was just important to know if the kid was hiding things from both of us or not. Even though it made me feel like a shitty, worthless parent. My kid was out here smoothing things because she knew that both of us couldn't afford it. But everyone's had this moment and it won't be the last time.

A/n: Thanks everyone for reading :).