Fixing Noah / Finding Noah - #ForNoah | +18 | BWWM

26 | Talk - Part 3

A/n: second post is in a few hours. I just wanted to put this theo part in it's own little quarantine zone.

"We really need to talk," says Theo. It's funny how he says that as a statement and not a question. Nothing good came from that yet a part of me always hopes. Hopes for the man I knew, hopes for Teo, hopes that we can be maybe not in a relationship but family. Two kids and they need raising and they got so much to go.

I turned the engine again hoping that it would start. It coughed and sputtered like a forty year three packs a day smoker but didn't start. That hope that I could call off Noah from coming faded. Avoiding the drama of Noah showing up at my ex-husband's house. Yeah, that wouldn't go over well with Theo and in front of all of his friends. This event wasn't about the kid's birthday, it was about a happy home. It was one big show that happened to take place on the kid's birthday. Look at us aren't we so perfect everything really worked out great. Fancy house, new car, and new baby. OH and there's my ex-wife over there aren't I progressive and supported. No drama here, no cheating on my wife here.

It didn't matter that the kids wanted other kids to play with at the party. Didn't like the clothes they were wearing. Little Man hang dog expression while he missed the fuck out of his cape. Trying desperately to stand still so you'd like him and think he was being good. It all raced in my head and the more times I turned that engine trying to get it to start the more revved up I became.

"Look, I was serious about Noah. There are things you don't know." it's really best for you and the kids for you to not see him anymore. It's not public information that Noah's dating anyone or that I'm seeing him or not seeing him. But maybe it was my happiness that tipped him off that Noah and I were back on. The joy even in the face of this event probably could sense it. I was going to sit in the car and let the man say his piece. But I wasn't rolling down the window because it was a bitch to get back up. Even in the crazy over 105 degrees heat waves of Sacramento, I left that bitch up. But the more he talked to me the less I wanted to hear. He had a whole overly long explanation about what would be best for me and the kids.

The man was going out of his way to ruin my well earning, I'm going to be cool. I will make no scene, or drama for the day. Crazy bitter ex-wife archetype that Theo seems to always want to cast me as. I was giving him what he wanted, happy home bullshit. He was throwing it all away like a college student with a TikTok account, gasoline, and matches.

"Seriously, Tari, act like an adult about this," he said. Well, that did it, boom. I stop trying to get the fuck out of here without a scene. Channeling my mother, I step out of that broken-down car like a goddamn queen. I headed toward the side of the house. Trying my best to preserve my babies birthday party. It didn't matter that I wore jeans and a t-shirt to the birthday party. That I was sorely underdressed. I couldn't concern myself with my old car that we had been saving to replace before the divorce. And now it had finally broken the fuck down. Leaving me stranded dead in the water in front of my ex-husband McMansion.

None of it matters anymore as much as being an adult about it pissed me off. He got what he wanted, but I was going to get the day.

"I'll see you in court Theo," my words were concise. I couldn't anymore. It's said you should try to work as much as you can together in custody. The less the court is involved the better. If you can get it in writing and it works for both, great. It's a hell of a lot cheaper but I couldn't do it anymore. Not even for the kids. Theo and mine's relationship had been unhealthy for a long time. But using the kids to control me isn't simply unhealthy, it's actively cruel. And like any good bomb going off I watched the words explode mercilessly in his face.

"What?" He asked

"Court Theo, family court." I couldn't take it anymore, I had nothing left. "I can't anymore. The marriage is over. You see other people, I see other people. I trust your judgment that you wouldn't bring people who would hurt our kids around our kids. Extend the same courtesy to me." His expression was more thunderstruck the longer this went on and I just didn't want to get into it. I headed to my car.

Whether the car started or not, I was getting away from this conversation. Away from this damn man and the ghost he was. The ghost Noah and I put to rest together. I wasn't going to let him take it from me. Stealing my future with ghostly hands and rotted wedding lace. My walk away from him didn't have a single look back like what he probably expected from me.

I ate that walk like the Black Queen my mother taught me to be leaving not a single fucking crumb.

A/n: double chapter post day.