Fixing Noah / Finding Noah - #ForNoah | +18 | BWWM

31 | A Walk to Remember

My head was killing me. Cold wracked my body in shivers but the fiery furnace of Noah was a blessing and a curse. I snuggled closer to him trying to gather heat as rain poured. The upside was the rain influenced the reporters outside; they fled like ants in the wet. Noah gate was finally clear of people. But he was like a man on a mission carrying me towards Folsom Lake.

Rain in California is always sparse but when it does rain, it's like a woman dancing like no one's looking. It fell without regard or care raining its little heart out.

Even as Noah carried me towards the lake, I slipped in and out of sleep. His heavy footfalls squished into the native California wild grass that was so uncustom to the rainfall. Noah's hold on me tight and possessive made sleep such a tantalizing thing even with the headache. Whatever happened, I was staying with Noah and I was going to fight tooth and nail for my kids.

The thought of my kids made a little tiny whimper leave my throat, and he pulled me in tighter. It was an absence I knew was coming and like a wound I curled around the pain and into Noah tighter.

I center myself on Noah and his purposeful steps. A beautiful dock with a tiny dinghy boat on the water. Rain slowed down to a drizzle and pinged gently on the water. A pit with wood in the center and an overhang over part of the deck. Six wood deck chairs surround the pit. Noah places me in the deck chair and pulls out towels from the basket under the chair. Then he lights the pit fire.

"Noah, is this what you were building?" I asked him. My head was so tired. It leaned to the side as I watched him clean things up.

"Yes, we need to get you dry." Noah says to me as he carefully wipes my tired body down. The heat of the fire warmed my dark skin with its gentle cracks and pops. He pats my hair dry and I wish I had something to put it up properly. My tired fingers are arranging it so it wouldn't be a complete mess. Even though it had been just 3 days since we fell asleep at the lake last time. I forgot to put my hair up then too, so the issue was being compounded. Then on top of that I didn't put my hair up when I half fell asleep at the station. A lifetime of properly putting my hair away 99% of the time getting ruined by multiple days of not being careful. When I take my braids out for the natural curl and have my half afro up my hair won't be as happy as it could be.

The thought was a little odd but absolutely true. And I liked that I could still smile at the thought as I watched him drying my legs near the fire.

"I don't want to go home." The idea of going home tonight without the kids being there was too much for me. But at least it didn't bring forth a whimper of pain. Nothing was right anymore. I was tired to my bones and couldn't even lift my head. But as tired as I was, Noah was probably more exhausted. He had about as bad of at night at the station as I had today. The cops didn't even bother to put a bandaid on his cuts. They just left it raw until the bleeding stopped. On his jeans the blood stains were half washed out from the rain.

"Do you want to go back to my loft?" Noah asks concern painted all over his expression. He was nervous, and I realized even though it was a moment for me to say that. But for him to reply he was probably rethinking and thinking thousands of times of what to say to me. He had that mind working too hard face he gets. So for him it was a lifetime. Noah was letting me go so I could salvage things and be with my kids. Still taking careful steps back from me hedging his bet. He cared about me enough to let me go without anger, it was for me and the kids. And I love him the most for it.

"No, Noah, not the loft." It was his small place above the warehouse where he slept, it was ok. It really was fine, but you have to climb up. A space so cramped, I couldn't even move my head. The cold had already seeped, and I felt the fever that had already come on drying my throat. "I'm ok here, I don't want to go anywhere. Please, don't make me."