Fixing Noah / Finding Noah - #ForNoah | +18 | BWWM

26 | Ice - Part 2

I was frozen, built into the ground with stone and ice. The kind of glacier that had sat on this earth for millennia instead of the seconds it took her to walk towards me. As always, she was a beautiful woman, petite the opposite to me in every way possible. A sharp pain in my stomach followed as quickly as I realized who she was. It didn't take long just moments, but it was enough time for my brain to go into overdrive. Long enough for my mind to deposit me back into my nightmare.

A beep that redefines my family in moments. Her pleasuring what I didn't know at the time was my soon to be ex-husband. I heard every moan; the touching slapping sounds all of it. What made it worse was the recording was a recording. I could listen to it again and again, and it was like stabbing myself each time. And damn it I did listen to it again hoping against hope each stupid time that it wasn't Theo's voice. And if it was Theo's voice maybe he was watching porn, and it wasn't a real person. That it was some big accident, that the problem will go away and not ruin everything. It didn't of course; it was her that woman who was walking towards me.

The baby she held in her arms wiggled his arm at her seconds away from a wailing fit. His face was resting grumpy face. He was the picture of Teo. Right down to that constipated expression when Teo is slightly annoyed. I wasn't sure what to do because the woman kept walking towards me with the baby. My head swiveled around looking for someone else, it had to be someone else. She might be heading towards them but there wasn't a soul behind me. Damn, I guess this is about to happen.

We've been strategically avoiding each other. There's been opportunities for us to have longer conversations than the short ones we had. I didn't push the issue, but I heard about her from my kids. What did my mother call her so many times that I've had to yell at her every time she does it? 'She who will not be name,' as if she's Voldemort. Or maybe Bloody Mary where you tempt her by calling her three times and she shows up killing everyone. But even though my mom treated the woman like a horror movie when she talked about her I didn't. My kids spoke about her every time they came back. She did right by my kids and they didn't hate her. So when she didn't stop before getting to me I had an internal panic attack. And she extended her hand around the baby she held so closely, you could tell how dear that little boy was to her.

"Nice to see you again Tari," she said. The words with that hint of the Cuban accent that made everything she said sound like paradise. She was still glowing even after having the baby. The baby was almost fourteen months old, and he was so big. He wasn't going along with anything she wanted for a single moment.

It was most unfortunate that the ice that kept me in place didn't release sooner. I shifted through the crowd strategically avoiding the nicely dressed woman. But the woman kept coming and the sound of the shark music getting closer filled my mind. My heart kicked up its pass and checked out my clothes for stains. And of course, I'd dress casually for the birthday. The invite says casual but my version of casual was mom casual. These people at the party including the stunning woman in front of me were more of a dress casual. My jeans, and t-shirt did not add up to the same to her elegant casual. It was like a coach bag meets a flea market backpack.

"Alexa, we meet again," I said to her. How fucking ambiguous of me. I swear I'm going to make it through this damn party without drama. Not making a scene or showing anything but a smile. I am cool, I am casual, I am not going to make a run for it. She smiled at my carefully chosen address. I mean how do you really address the woman who your husband cheated with then got knocked up? Howdy home wrecker? If I'm honest with myself I'm not even mad about it other than the inconvenience of it all. The hurt that went with it was mostly related to the betrayal of trust. The man I fell in love with that I wanted to have the life with left the marriage years ago leaving just Theo behind. Frankly, I couldn't care in the least about Theo other than in relationship to the kids. Emotionally he died for me so long ago that our marriage ending didn't end me in the way that time away from Noah did. I guess that's the difference between the walking dead, and ghosts compared to the land of the living.

"I'm glad you could make it," she kept going. She shifts the restless little boy in her arms. Theo living room was more quiet than before. As if all eyes were turned on us waiting for some blow up. It wasn't even the first time meeting but maybe the blood in the water was enough for them. "I think both of the kids love the gifts. And thank you for adding our names on to the gift for Sim. She..." Her smile seems real when she searches for the right words about my daughter. "She is going to have so much fun at the camp." The woman went on as I casually scanned the room and those eyes I imagined were watching weren't that far off. I'm not sure why they thought that I was going to treat Theo's house like a Waffle House and throw it down.

For all that came from my ex-husband cheating with Alexa's she does right by my kids. And I'm willing to take that. The baby keeps fussing in her arms turning over as she talks to me about the plans she has with Sim. The gift they got Sim was a day at the spa complete with manicure and she was inviting me to go with her. Which wasn't going to happen. I was trying to come up with a way to worm my way out of it.

"Alexa, can you get more wine?" A woman calls from the side. She looked flustered and cut off and then handed me her child. Dumping the little boy in my arms and kissing him on the top of the head.

"Be good," she tells the boy. And runs off for the wine. What the fuck just happen? Did this woman really just drop the love child into the arms of the ex-wife? That room full of eyes that were on me before just about popped out the socket. But the little boy looked so like Teo, the same grumpy expression that I laughed at.

"Well, it looks like it's me and you, kid." The grumpy little boy settled into my arms. A warm spot that reminded me of another time when my kids were so tiny. I gave the tiny boy a sniff to make sure he didn't poop. Why did this woman leave this time bomb in my arms? I walked up the stairs with him. Placing him in his bed gave me a happy smile from him instead of a grumpy one. I checked the time on my watch, the grumpiness was probably because it was past his bedtime. It was late, and I'd normally have Little Man heading towards getting ready for bed.

I shoot Theo a text message after tucking his kid in upstairs. His bedroom is extremely neat with a cute, clean style in blues and greens.

Me: I tucked the baby upstairs. I'm going to be leaving soon. It was a nice party Theo.

My charitability was as high as I could make it. It wasn't a bad birthday party. The people at it seem to have fun. I was just ready to be done.

Me: Do you want me to leave him upstairs alone or are you going to come get him?

I sent the second message waiting patiently for a reply.

Theo: The baby monitor is on so you can leave him sleeping. We really need to talk to Tari.

Me: Ok, Theo. We can talk another time, not today. Send me a message and we can meet for lunch or a talk over the phone.

I was so done for the day and his next replies were ignored by me. Got my stuff and headed for the door.

A/n: yeah this scene was a little weird to write. I may end up rewriting it because when that baby was plop into her arms. I'm like wait a second WTF. I was so uncomfortable that the scene is like not fully filled in with the moment. But then again I might leave it as is. I really don't know. We are getting closer and closer to the end of the book and I'm freaking out. 

Thank you as always for your support. :). I enjoy reading and I loved how everyone else was commenting on everyones comments. It was a joy to read through. Thank you again.

-OP