train wreck // justin foley

53

"my name is casey ford, and i'm a survivor." casey stood up, causing me to smile.

"my name is janelle martin, and i'm a survivor."

i looked at tyler, trying to get him to stand up, but he didn't seem ready, so i left it alone.

"my name is maggie kim, and i'm a survivor."

i looked over at the door and saw clay walk in, causing me to look over at tyler who slowly stood up, making me proud of him.

"my name is tyler down, and i'm a survivor."

more and more people stood up, causing more reactions to go around. finally, after a few more people, someone stood up that i never expected.

"my name is justin foley, and i'm a survivor." i looked at him, teary eyed, as more people stood up.

i grabbed the mic and walked to the front of the podium.

"to those of you still seated, i know a lot of you have stories, but you're not ready to share them yet. and that's okay. when you're ready, we'll listen. and we will continue to fight to make sure that no one is assaulted, harassed, or abused at this school. we will not sit down and we will not be quiet. we will not rest until that happens." i finished, earning claps from the school.

afterwards, i walked up to tyler and hugged him.

"i'm so proud of you." i said to tyler.

"thank you." he said, hugging me, before someone else asked to talk to me.

in the middle of the girl talking to me, ani came up to me.

"hey!" she said, smiling. "that's was incredible. you were incredible."

"thank you. i was so freaked out, but... i was so happy i did it. seeing all those people stand up, it was—"

"i loved that bit in your speech about the mirror. is that from something, or—"

"why? what do you mean?" i asked.

"well, nothing, it was just... it was really beautiful. and i was just wondering if it was... something you'd heard before, or it just came to you?"

"i don't know. i guess it just kind of came to me." i told her. "i should..."

"yeah, of course. congrats." she said, smiling.

"thanks." i replied.

i saw justin, then i saw clay and i ran up to clay with justin.

"clay where the fuck have you been?" i asked.

"i have to go." clay said to u.

"are you fucking crazy? you can't run." justin said to him.

just then, the sheriffs came into the gym.

"clay jensen!" sheriff diaz shouted, grabbing everyone's attention. "i have a warrant for your arrest for the murder of bryce walker. turn around and put your hands behind your back.

"justin, let's go!" i exclaimed, running out of the gym with justin as they took clay away, reading him his miranda rights.

when we got to the jail, i sat down and justin walked up to the desk to ask about clay.

"he's still back there. probably gonna transfer him to county." justin said, walking back toward me.

"jesus." i said to myself. i looked at justin. "are you okay?" i asked him. "you'd tell me if you weren't? 'cause clearly i don't always know.

he was quiet for a few seconds and began shaking his knee.

"when i was five... my mom had this boyfriend. this... this fucked up guy who would just get high with her. when she'd pass out, he would... just come to my bed. at first, he would just put his hands on me. then he started... he started making me put my hands on his... and he would be hard. he'd put his fingers in my mouth and start to jerk off. he only lived with us a couple years on and off. when i was on the streets, and i needed money, i would do stuff... to guys." he admitted, as tears ran down both of our faces. "sometimes, they would do stuff that we didn't talk about, but that i didn't want to do. i just felt like i was five again, and... it was all my fault." he said, looking down and sobbing. i leaned over and grabbed his hands.

"hey. i am so sorry." i said to him. "god. all this time you've been listening to me, helping me, and letting me preach to you about recovery—"

"you needed time." he said to me. "for yourself. you deserve that. i want to be there for you so bad, kylie. i didn't want my shit to get in the way of your shit."

"your shit is my shit." i told him.

"we share shit."

"this is getting gross." i said, immediately after, causing us to laugh.

he kissed me and pulled me into a hug.

"i love you." he whispered in my ear.

"i love you." i said, burying my head in his neck.

the next day, i was at the coffee shop when ani sat down.

"i'm about to tell you the worst thing that i've ever done." she told me, causing me to close my book. "i slept with bryce. more than once. i slept with your rapist. that's it, that's the worst thing i've done." she said. "now you. what's the worst thing you've ever done?" she asked me.