train wreck // justin foley

22

i ran into clay's room after running from school when i got the text from alex. i saw justin laying his head on clay's bed. i scoffed and began to cry.

"kylie." justin said. i went up to him and sat next to him.

"how could you do that?" i exclaimed, crying. "how could you be so fucking selfish?!"

"i'm sorry." he said. "i'm sorry."

"thank you, alex." i told him, hugging him.

"how are you still alive?" alex asked.

"i think it's a tolerance thing. i don't know. i've only ever shot up a couple times." he told me.

"you could have fucking died, justin!" i told him.

"like anyone would even care at this point." justin told me and alex. i covered my mouth.

"dude, don't joke about that." alex said.

"i can't listen to this." i told them. i walked outside and closed the door.

"you're still in love with kylie, aren't you?" alex asked.

"doesn't fucking matter." justin told him.

"look at you. it clearly does." alex said.

"yeah, i still love her. but she won't take me back now. not after what she found out through the tapes, okay? i couldn't protect her and i let bryce walk away, all while not telling her the truth." justin said. "i fucked up, ran away when she needed me the most, and she hates me for it."

i went into my room when i heard clay go into his, i walked by his door.

"what were you thinking with the tapes, clay?" alex asked. "you hurt jess, you hurt us, and you hurt kylie. now she knows the entirety of what happened to her because of you. now she has to live through that whole thing again."

"i told her that it was time that their truths came out so that bryce got what he deserved." clay said.

"what the fuck gives you the right to decide what needs to come out?" justin asked. they continued their conversation and i walked back into my room. i put my headphones in so that i didn't have to listen to them.

a few moments later, justin came into my room. i took off my headphones.

"i heard that you and dempsey broke up?" he asked.

"how could you do that to me?" i asked him. "how could you shoot up instead of letting me know what was going on?"

"it was bryce. he told me that nobody in this world gave a damn about me and that nobody cared if i lived or died." he told me.

"so you believed him?" i asked.

"yeah. i did. but he wasn't wrong." justin said, looking down.

"yeah he fucking was. he was so wrong." i said, making justin face me. "just because we weren't on the same page, doesn't mean that i stopped caring about you." i said to him. "i have never stopped caring about you. i already lost jeff. i don't want to lose you too."

after moments of just looking at each other, we leaned in and kissed each other. i placed both of my hands on his neck. we pulled away.

"i still love you, kylie." he said to me. "i need you. i can't do this without you."

"i love you too, j." i said to him. i kissed him again. "lock the door." he got up and locked the door. he got onto my bed and continued kissing me.

for the first time in months, i had finally remembered what it was like to be with someone that i had truly loved.

when i woke up afterwards, i noticed that justin wasn't there next to me. i put his liberty t-shirt on, some shorts, and i walked out. i heard clay's parents arguing. i went into clay's room.

"where's justin?" i asked.

"he took off. my mom and dad found out about the drugs." he said.

"and you let him go?" i asked him.

"he was gone when i got out of the shower, kylie. i don't know where he went." he told me.

"jesus, clay." i said. i went into my room and checked my phone.

from: justin 💙
i'm sorry that i left again. clay's parents didn't want me there after the drug incident. i'm still in town. please don't be mad.

i didn't respond. i went to bed.

i was awaken by my alarm, but decided that i wasn't going to go to school today after everything that happened yesterday. i checked my phone. there was no texts from anyone. clay walked in.

"are you going to school?" he asked me. i sat up.

"no. i'm not. everyone is going to be talking about me and i just want one day away from it." i told him. "any word on justin?"

"no, kylie. no word yet." he told me. he walked out.

i texted justin.

to: justin 💙
last night was amazing. i just wish you were next to me when i woke up. i'm not mad at you at all. if this is what you need to do, i'll support you, just please just let me know if you're safe and please don't go back with your mom and seth. he's going to hurt you. i love you, j. ❤️

i walked down to the living room and spent the whole day watching television. i heard clay come home. he walked in and i immediately saw his beat up face.