Going Under

Chapter 32:

I just keep sitting there, staring at Kyle and waiting for some explanation, but he's in silence for the last couple of minutes. 

"Excuse me" the sweet and low voice sounds, and we both look at the door to find the short nurse smiling weakly at us and coming in. "How are you feeling, Samantha?" she asks me. Her tone annoys me, because it's the same tone someone would use to talk to a child. 

"I'm good" I simply say and she smiles at me. "Great. I just need to take a bit of your blood for a few new tests" she says and I shrug, standing my arm at her and she starts doing her thing.

"I thought you already had enough?" Kyle questions once she's finished. 

"We do" she smiles at him "We just think it's better to test her now that she's awake. Nothing to worry about" she assures him and he nods at her, which seems to be enough for her to submissively nod at him, and leave the room. 

"That was weird" I quietly say after she closed the door behind her and he turns his attention back to me. "What?" he asks.

"You just... released her. I mean, she was clearly waiting for your signal to leave" I say. 

"You're not making sense" he chuckles. 

"Fuck you" I groan. "I'm saying that-"

"I understood" he says, stroking my hand slowly again, before I just push it away one more time. 

"I'm still mad at you. Tell me whatever do you need to tell me" I ask him and he nods. 

"She was waiting for some kind of... authorization to leave. I mean... she's... She works for my dad" he finally says and I feel even more confused. 

"Wait... Your dad owns this place?" he only nods in response and my head fall back onto the pillow. 

"Oh.. Okay... so.." I stammer. I really have no idea what to say next. 

"I work in here too" he states a few seconds later and I instantly turn my attention to him, wide eyes and slightly dizzy.

"What?"

"I... It's not exactly a job, you know. I don't get a paycheck, I just... help people. People like you" he says, looking down, not even able to look me in the eyes. 

"Well, you clearly have enough money to afford that huge ass apartment and some luxury that you have" I shrug. 

"I don't get a proper paycheck, my dad just gives me enough money to survive on my own, since I dedicate my whole time to this institution and I don't have time to get a proper job" he tells me.

"That's a paycheck" I roll my eyes. 

"Fuck, I'm trying to tell you something else and you're focusing on the paycheck shit?" he shouts, startling me for awhile.

"I don't understand.." I whisper and he finally looks at me.

"Listen, I... I help damaged people to find the help they need"

"What the fuck did you just say? I'm damaged?" I groan and he rubs his hands up and down his face. 

"No, fuck. I didn't mean this. I mean... People who need help... With alcohol, drugs and all that shit"

"Wait, so.. You were just working all along? You were just... I was just a task for you?" I ask him, feeling my eyes watering up already.

"No! Jesus, no, Sam. When I first met you at that party and saw how ridiculously drunk you were I thought you could use some help, because you clearly were this kind of person, so I wanted to help you. But when our cars crashed, I have to admit that I hated you in that moment and forgot about everything I wanted to do, like... i gave up on helping you because you obviously didn't want any help" he says. 

"But when I thought better about it later that night, I just... the guilt was eating me alive and I just relaxed when I finally saw you out of that cell the other day" he continues. 

"So everytime you were around you were just..." I whisper and he nods.

"I was sort of looking after you, I wanted to avoid any contact you'd have with drinks and other things. I wasn't following you, but I wanted to be around the whole time" 

"This still hurts me though" I remark and he closes his eyes in pain, nodding slowly at me "... to know that I was simply a task" 

"You weren't. I fell for you right away. It was impossible to be around you and not being fascinated by your ways and your thoughts, your opinions and every little thing. I fell for you when I shouldn't"

"Do you do that to all of your.. patients?" I ask him the question that was bothering me since he told me the truth. 

"Sam, you are the first girl I ever loved and-"

"No, I mean.. do you become friends with all the people you want to help and get into rehab?" 

He takes a while to answer and I assume this is my answer, actually. 

"No... I don't become friends with them. I try to talk them into that, I try to show them a better option, and sometimes it happens to become friends" he explains and I nod. 

"Sam.." he tries but he's cut off by the sound of the door opening and my mom comes in. She looks at me, then to Kyle and back at me.

"I can see you told her" she says to him and he nods, looking at her with wide and cautioned eyes. 

"Dear, I'm so sorry, we didn't know it was..-" 

"We?" I ask her and she looks at Kyle and he has his eyes closed, like she just said something she shouldn't have. 

"Um, well.. you didn't tell her everything, did you?" she asks him, clearly uncomfortable.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I groan. 

"Well... I think it's better if he tells you" she quietly says, walking towards the door but I stop her with a shout "No fucking way. You're telling me this, and you're doing this now" I say and she shrugs, slowly walking back closer to me and sitting on the edge of my bed. 

-

The whole fucking story just made my mind insane. I got too many informations in just a few minutes and I feel dizzy and confused since then. I'm alone in my room now, because I kicked them both out, saying that I was tired and needed a rest, also I need sleep to actually accept the new informations. 

Turns out that when my mom/dad suggested the rehab thing so I could go back home, they were already planning on throw me here. Right here. They just didn't know Kyle was pretty much the owner. Actually, his dad is, but Kyle told me he had the idea for the institution because he was just like me a while ago, and he wanted to help people just like someone helped him. 

When my mom first met Kyle at my house, when they found me nearly dead on my bedroom that time with Paul, they had a conversation while I was out at the hospital and they found out about the institution. My mom told him she wanted to talk me into come here, and he told her he was already trying the same thing, and that's when I realized the reason he was being such a dickhead about it when I told him my father wanted me to go to rehab so I could go back to the apartment. 

He wanted me here. They all did. 

(such a crappy chapter, I'm so sorry I just felt like I was failing you guys so I had to update something. Also, I had a way better chapter on my drafts but wattpad deleted it so I had to write everything all over again and I couldn't remember it exactly. I'm sorry! If you're keeping up with me, you know I'm going through a hard time in my life so I apologize for not being so present lately. Keep voting and commenting though. Love u! x)