Going Under

Chapter 27:

Kyle's POV

I can't believe I was stupid enough to almost tell her everything. What was I thinking? That she would jump in my arms and say that she loves me back? Hell, no. She wouldn't. Samantha doesn't have feelings, not those feelings. She said it several times to me in our many conversations. I could swear she was staring to feel just a glimpse of something for me, just a little bit. But maybe not, maybe I'm just madly deluded that she'll ever change her ways and fall for someone, especially me. 

Karen knows everything though, and they're together right now, I just got a text from Sam. What if she tells her? I'm sure Samantha will pull away from me right away and she won't ever want to see me again. The thought itself brings me pain; I can't imagine myself without her anymore and I don't even know where or when it happened exactly. It just did... I just fell in love with her.

That stupid way of hers, those eyes and that smile. The rare smile she gives me. The one I'm sure I'm probably the only one who ever got it, though she swears she doesn't feel anything for me. Well, not swears, we didn't talk about it exactly like that, but she said she never felt things for someone and she never will, because as she said "she doesn't have a heart". I doubt it, thought sometimes it's pretty believable, I know deep down she feels something. Maybe not for me, but for herself. She knows love, she loved before and she was hurt.

That's the only explanation for the way she is nowadays. I remember when I first met her, when I saw her drinking her ass off at that dumb party, my first thought was that maybe, just maybe, I'd gladly help her to recover and be a better and different person. I hated her that day, I really did. She smashed my car and she was annoying as fuck, as she always is when she's drunk. But something happened that day. I felt the need to help her, to be there for her, and that's why I was always in her way. 

I was indeed, following her and chasing after her so she could notice me. How stupid of me? I just thought she needed some help. I never wanted more than a friendship with her... Until now. This is what's fucking me up, to be honest. I never felt anything towards anyone before, not like this. I had crushes on girls, sure. Never been in love. I couldn't! I'm surrounded by drunk people. I never told her that this is my job. I take care of damaged people, I help them to recover. It's not really a job, I don't get paid for it, I just do it. After my alcohol addiction, when I finally recovered, I had the idea of starting an organization to help the people like me. I used the money my father has -and he has a lot- to create this, and he helped me. His company sponsored the organization and all I wanted was to help her. 

I didn't tell her because I knew she would run away from me, she doesn't want to be helped. But she accepted it in her subconscious. She realized it herself that she spent days without smoking and she walked out of that party completely sober and she was okay with that. Whether she agrees or not, she's better now. And I couldn't be happier to be the cause of that, maybe I am...

It just wasn't part of the plan to fall for her. In three years I helped more than thirty people, and I never had this problem. She's definitely the most annoying person I've met, and yet... I fell for her. 

-

Sam's POV

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I ask Karen when we finally arrive to her dorm. Her roommate, guess what, is not here. "Where the fuck is this girl anyway?" I snap. "She has a boyfriend, she spend most of the nights with him" she rolls her eyes. "I didn't tell you sooner because it wasn't so important then. I thought he would tell you at that same night. You guys were acting so couply I even thought he told you before me! You were acting adorably, Sam. Face it... Whether you want it or not, you do have feelings for him" she says.