Sing For Me

Let Me See

Another day, another alarm call but another string of messages to wake me up, I was getting far too used to this attention the insides flipping every time my phone went off.

Hope the tube isn't too busy this morning darling, take care, hugs to all three of you, have a good shift at the store, lots of love xxx

Oh wow that's a new one, lots of love, his love, that he so desperately wanted to give that I could feel, he needed it too. Work was mad today, busy, noisy. I'm stood at the till when I spot a customer come in, he was shouting, shoving about the place. His manner made you feel uncomfortable, reminded me of Matt, that air of not giving a shit about anyone.

"Lis watch that one" Eileen says while she serves on the next till

"Is he trouble" I ask quietly and she nods. "Have we seen who's in" Dom says over the headset

"Yeah I've clocked him" Mike says and I look across the shop at him acknowledging his reassuring nod

"Keeping an eye out Mike" Marc one of the sales advisers says. I'm suddenly nervous and getting bad vibes from him but carry on serving 

"That's one twenty five change and your receipt, have a good day lovely. Who's next please" I call, I look up and it's this bloke, I hadn't seen him come and queue up. Shit I can feel my heart racing, what the hell is wrong with me.

"Morning, would you like a bag" I say trying to be professional

"Yes" he snaps and I grab one scanning his shopping. I spot he's out extra paracetamol in his basket that I can't sell him Jesus

"I'm sorry Sir I can only sell you two packets of these I'm afraid" I tell him and he glares at me

"What" he shouts

"It's the law I can only sell you two packets" I say trying to keep calm. I spot Mike and Dom come towards the till area

"Are you having a fucking laugh, what the fuck do you think I'm going to do with them top myself" he shouts full the shop

"I'm sorry Sir I don't make the rules I'm afraid" I try and tell him

"You stupid little bitch just give me the pills" he yells as Eileen steps in

"Sir she's already told you that she can't, it's policy" she says and before I can think he's reaching across the till and grabbing me by the arm trying to get them out of my hand

"RIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH" Mike shouts as him and Dom step in to pull him away. He breaks free and throws the tablets and his basket, hitting me in the face. The security guard runs over

"Right you get off her " he says grabbing him

"I don't want to see you in my store again, you're barred, Dom call the police" Mike says as he's led away

"You can stick your fucking shop" he shouts and continues shouting as he's taken out onto the street.

"Lis are you alright love" Eileen asks but I can't speak I'm almost frozen. I put my hand to my face, I can feel something, it's blood

"Shit" I say, suddenly starting to sob

"Ei take her out the back, Marc can you and Amy jump on till please" Mike says
He walks up to me looking at my face

"Jesus Lis, I'm so sorry" he says ushering me through the door Eileen taking charge

"I'll see to her, you go and sort that prick out" she says "Sit down darling"
I start to shake and burst into tears not able to control it, I'm hysterical. It was like him, the anger, the hate, just like him

"Hey hey hey, it's ok darling, it's ok" Eileen says coming and putting her arms around me "Your safe now" she says

"I'm sorry" I sob at her trying to slow my breathing down. Dom comes running in

"Lis babe are you alright" he asks

"Dom get that kettle on and make her a sweet tea" Eileen says before coming with the first aid kit and cleaning up my face. I've got a nasty gash on my left cheek which suddenly burns and stings like hell. I wrap my hands around the tea that Dom has made, I'm cold and shivery.

"Darling you can go home if you like" Eileen says

"No Ei I'm fine really, I'll be ok" but inside I was sick to the stomach. I wanted Ben.

We have the same evening phone call where he tells me all about his day. He sounds so happy, but he senses somethings wrong and I tell him what happened.
"Oh sweetheart my god are you alright here's me rambling on about my day like a dick, I'm so sorry" he says he sounds so worried "What the hell did he do to you?" he asks and I tell him about the cut on my face

"He cut you" he says

"But I'm ok Ben, Eileen patched me up" I tell him trying to stop his worrying

"Baby I wish I was there with you, I feel so helpless" he says making me feel warm but cold at the same time knowing he's so far away

"I wish you were too, when it happened I just wanted you" He sighs

"Darling do you have Skype" he asks me a random change of subject.

"Yeah I do I use it to talk to my Dad and my Nan why" I ask him

"Can we connect I've got a surprise for you to cheer you up" he says I get nervous

"Alright I need to get my laptop it's in the living room" I tell him I can hear him in the background switching his on as I get mine set up while sill speaking to him "But wait I haven't got any make up on" I say to him

"It's OK me neither" he says making me laugh

"But Ben my face is awful" I tell him

"Stop worrying come on Lissy I want to see you" he says

"Oh alright" I connect while quickly running my brush through my hair and putting some lip balm on. And there he is

"Hello you" he says and I smile at him

"Hello you" he looks at my face his own worried

"Let me see darling" he says to me. I take my hand away from the dressing that covers the cut and wipe away the stray tears "You're Beautiful" he says "Are you alright" he asks

"I'm better now" I tell him and he smiles "What's my surprise then" I ask him and he suddenly he disappears "Ben" I call and suddenly I hear music it's that song I was listening to yesterday and suddenly Ben is back in view in a jacket and hat like Jason wears in the video, he's got a guitar and he's singing BLOODY HELL!!

I may never give you flowers

I may be working all these hours

To build a life for me and you

I may never seem to show affection

Please don't take this as rejection

Cos everything I do I do for you

But even if I don't show you how I feel

Oh every day

My love is stronger

And every day in every way

I love you more

Jesus he's amazing and he has the loveliest voice I've ever heard sorry Jason you've been outdone "Oh Ben" I say to him and in between the verse he smiles at me "Surprise baby" he says making me cry but tears of happiness that he could do something so lovely for me. I pick my laptop up and pop it on my dressing table so I can dance along with him what must we look like our combined ages are passed retirement age and we are behaving like teenagers but I didn't want it to end, every bit of hurt and upset I'd had today had just been washed away.