Sing For Me

Youre not hurting me again

I feel sick physically sick what is this stress doing to my baby I am so afraid and yet I know I have to do this they've put me in the waiting area I sit as close to Ben as I can I need him near me. "Are you OK darling?" he asks 

"no not really" I tell him I might as well be honest and he wraps his arms around me 

"I'm here my darling I'm here" he says kissing me on the top of my head 

"Mrs Langley" they call me we both get up "Sorry sir you cant come in" no, no way I'm thinking 

"He comes in or I leave here right now do you understand" I snap and they agree

The room is cold and dreary like you see on the cop dramas on tv, its horrible. They sit me down and start up the tape recorder, then comes the questioning asking me about every little detail so I tell them everything with Ben not letting go of my hand the whole time squeezing it when I find bits difficult to get out. 

"You're doing really well Mrs Langley i understand this must be hard" like they have any idea. They make a record of everything and I sign it and they thank me "Can I take her home now please" Ben asks to which they say yes.

They go to show us out and we walk passed some cells where a prisoner is being brought out I turn to look unable to help myself,  oh dear god....................... its him,  its like I'm frozen i cant move or speak he spots  me and just stares Ben notices I've stopped "Darling what is it?" then he spots him too. Matt glares at us both with an evil expression its like hes mad i cant explain it. 

"Well hello Lisa how are you my little cupcake" he makes me sick. Ben goes wild and runs for him 

"You son of a bitch" the police stop him I don't want him to get in trouble and I run to him Matt is just laughing 

"Ben stop it please sweetie he's not worth it  just take me home" he turns to me his wild eyes calming slightly. Matt snarls at Ben 

"Aw better do what she says Benny" making Ben go at him again 

"Oh you'll get what's coming to you you piece of shit" Ben yells causing me to shout at him but as I do I get a pain I double over Ben spots me and runs back "Sweetheart, sweetheart are you alright" I grab his hand Matt still laughs 

"Get him out of here" the police officer shouts as they lead him out I cant look at him.

A lady policewoman gets me to sit down "Darling what is it?" Ben asks 

"I don't know?" I tell him its just a tight pain  like a contraction I suppose but then it stops "It's OK it's stopped I think it was a braxton hick it just really hurt sorry" I tell him 

"Come on lets go home hey" he says his eyes calmer but now full of concern 

"Yep" I say 

"We've got a party to get ready for" I am not letting that bastard ruin everything we've arranged for Dad and for Ben it's not happening. But my mind just clouds over, I'm lost.

We don't really say much in the car on our way back Ben just keeps stroking my leg and squeezing my knee now and again its like he wants me to speak to start to tell him. Seeing Matt hit me that fear that useless feeling hit me like a smack in the face. But he had done that to me for too long, there was a certain safety in the fact that he was locked up he couldn't get to me even if he wanted to and the knowledge that Ben was Riley and Ellie's Dad in every sense, he cant touch us can he??. I am better than him arent' I I have a better life despite of everything that he had done I had built myself something wonderful with Ben's help, all that work all that effort will not be spoiled he will not crush the memories that Ben and I had built. My little girl is moving around like mad letting me know shes there which is something. Ben looks at me with fear with pity I cant bear it, I don't want people to feel sorry for me, feel sorry for the other woman he's done this to not me My life is with Ben he is not part of it anymore forget him Jesus Christ I wish he was dead. My mind goes dark