Sing For Me

365 Days

It has been three hundred and sixty five days each day that my heart had skipped a beat when I thought of him, looked at him, touched him. One whole year since I ran into the most amazing man I had ever known, sorry if thats soppy but you know how I feel about him. Where had all that time gone it was madness I was thirty four years old and in all my life I had never had a year like this if the rest of our lives together would be like that how could my poor heart cope I think smiling to myself. I turn to look at my husband, MY husband my Ben he looks so cute he is fast asleep Freja had been niggling in the night last night and Ben had stayed up with her until she went back to sleep insisting that I needed rest. silly boy. His face is all scruched up against the pillow and im sure hes dribbling a little aww bless can see where Freja gets it from. I sneak out of bed quietly ive got some surprises planned for him today so I need to get them ready.

I head into the bathroom to have a shower and I look over to my makeup mirror what on earth is that as I move closer to it and I notice theres some writing on it, in pink soap "I LOVE YOU" its says its Ben's writing he must have done it while I was asleep it makes me smile oh gentle butterflies how ive missed you. I grab a quick shower and get dressed, Ben is still flat out but Freja is stiring. I lean into her basket to pick her up "Hello sweet pea" I say to her "Shall we go downstairs and let Daddy sleep" as we head out of the bedroom. Its still early only just gone six everyone else is asleep. I let the kids sleep in as they are back in school and nursery tomorrow with Ben at college next week by then our little princess would be neraly a month old already but then that was a month that had been filled with so much Ben's mother dying then Peter turning up, I still couldnt quite get my head around it. He had already been in touch sending us a postcard from his latest posting and sending presents for the children who were now aqauainted with him as their Uncle Peter. Dad was still very untrusting of him and the whole situation which I couldnt really blame him for. Gran was the calming influence on us all trying to make everything as normal as possible. But for today it was just about me and Ben. I needed to let him know how much I loved him and how grateful I was for everything he had given me. I was such a different woman than I was a year ago and that was all down to him and his complete devotion to me he had transformed me into someone I never dared imagine I could be. I could feel his hunger for me everytime we were alone or got that little too close and I ached for him but we still hadnt been able to make love I had been so sore for so long my body still not recovered from having Freja but I would get there. There was just that niggle in the back of my mind that I was keeping him waiting I didnt want him thinking that I didnt want him.

I feed Freja and when shes done I wind her and pop her in her little bouncer fascinated with the little toys that hang above her she looks so much like Ben just adorable. I sit on the floor next to the coffee table with twelve envelopes in front of me in each I place a piece for card cut into the shape of a jigsaw all fitting together to create a puzzle for Ben each enveople for each month of the year we have spent together. It's nothing much but I know he will like it, a gift from the heart. "Now Freja where to put all these for Daddy hey" I say to her as if shes going to answer well she does in a way by girgling and dribbling. I position them around the house each envelope with his name written on. One in the fridge by the milk, another in his cereal box, in his jacket pocket, one next to the toothbrush you get the idea Im sure with the first next to his glasses on the bedside table which he will notice as soon as he wakes. I head into the kitchen putting on the light this time to make some tea as the light fills the room I notice through the conservatory window a bouquet of roses on the little table in there they like the soap on the mirror wernt there when I went to bed last night I walk in to look at them closely counting them twelve red roses and one pink one in the middle theres a little pink envelope next to them on the table with my name on I open it and read the card

My Darling Lisa

Twelve red roses a rose for each month I have spent with you, the most amazing most wonderful twelve months of my whole life. But in every beautiful bunch there is always one that stands out, you are my pink rose sweetheart.