Sing For Me

She's My Girl

Ben had insisted that we start thinking about the wedding as he didnt want to leave it, I think the scare with the baby had frightened him and he just wanted to make us all his. I'd rung Mike to tell him about the baby and that I wouldn't be in work for a couple of weeks and although I felt guilty about dropping it on him I was glad of the time as I was still feeling pretty rough.

He was pleased for us well the fact that he shouted "OH MY GOD LIS" down the phone kind of gave it away. Ben didn't have to be back at the college until the tenth of January so Gran had insisted that we stay with them which again I didn't object to I was happy here felt so at home and I could see Ben was too, he was also comforted by the fact that he had others around to watch out for me in case he needed to how shall I say pop to the shop.......Yes he was that bad love him, he would even get Gran to keep and eye on me while he went to the loo. His Dad had told him he would be a nervous wreck by the time the baby was born at this rate, but this was something he just had to do it made him feel needed and this was important to him. He needed me to need him.

I'd thought about the wedding a lot as I was able to do little else apart from lie on the sofa, not through feeling rough just Ben ordering me to rest my soft lad. I didn't want a big fuss, as Ben had said we'd done that before and it meant nothing. I wanted just something small and intimate for us, but where?

"How's my favourite daughter in law then?" Dad said walking into the living room distracting me from my thinking. 

"I'm OK Dad" I tell him and he smiles, he's brought me a cup of tea. Ben, Riley and Ellie were out feeding the animals. 

"What are you thinking about lovey, is something on your mind?" Dad asks I tell him I was just going through things for the wedding ideas mainly. 

"Ben is so keen for us to do it" I tell him "I just want to make it perfect and I'm afraid if we rush it wont be" he looks at me 

"Well why don't you let us help, I'm sure we can come up with something together and keep the lad quiet" he says laughing. Ben's Dad had extended his stay as he wanted to be around for us all and to spend time with the children if anything, he told me that it bothers him being far away so was making the most of it before he went back.

Then it dawned on me who would we want there when we got married, who did we need and where were we our most happiest, HERE with Ben's family we could get my Dad here. A small registry office wedding wouldn't be hard to organize we could be married before we went home, the idea suddenly made me tingle inside. There was the question of my family my brother Marcus and I didn't really speak as he had always sided with my Mum causing a rift between him and Dad, my mother had him under her power completely I hadn't seen him for months now. My Nain was in a nursing home she had been suffering with dementia for years now and most of the time didn't know who I was it was heartbreaking. And then there was my mother did I want her there, the thought of Ben meeting her was awkward, we had had such a rough few years that it was easier to cut her out of my life, save the heartache and the disappointment when she'd let me down yet again. I explained this to William and he did understand but then he had been there. "It's your choice Lisa, its your day yours and Ben's but I think you should tell her especially about the baby you may never forgive yourself if you don't" he was right well partly I thought "Ben never had that choice love, his mother left him and wanted nothing to do with him, your mother keeps coming back, I'm not saying that you should forgive her just tell her, show her you have your own life and that your happy" he did have a point.

He thought the idea of getting married here was wonderful and was so pleased that I wanted him to play a big part, we just had to set it all in motion well after I'd told Ben.

"Mummy the chickens laid loads of eggs" Riley announces as him, Ellie and Ben come in, their noses are red from the cold its quite cute.

"Well one of my special omelettes for tea then" Dad announces. He heads off to the kitchen with the eggs.