Sing For Me

A Play date?

I open the living room curtains and the sun shines in, it's a beautiful morning  but I can feel the nip that's in the air. It gives me goosebumps or is it just my nerves. 

"Hi Mummy" a little voice calls 

"Hello darling, I didn't hear you get up" I say to him "Did you have a good sleep" I ask as he comes up to me with him arms out willing me to pick him up. He nods at me wrapping his arms around my neck. "How would you like to go to the park today" I ask him and his face lights up 

"Yay" he says "Can I take some toys" he asks his excitement building. 

"Yes darling of course you can" I say putting him down, he runs off keen to find what he needs before he's even got dressed. I need to tell him about Ben, that we are meeting him at least I don't want him to feel that I have kept it from him. 

"Here's my toys  Mummy and my bag" he says

"Ok baby bring them here" I ask him and he comes over. "Riley, we are going to meet someone at the park today" I tell him, my voice a little nervous 

"Who Mummy" he asks 

"It's just a new friend of Mummy's darling that's all, he said he'd like to meet you and Ellie" I'm not even sure he's paying attention as he's playing with his digger he's picked up. I hear my phone go off, it's a message.  

Morning Sweetheart, So looking forward to seeing you all today, the sun is shining for us  See you soon

My heart was all of a flutter every time he text me. This was all new. I'd not felt like this about anyone before, he was, lovely, kind and I couldn't get him out of my head I go and grab Ellie from her cot and bring her to the living room.

"What is your friends name Mummy" Riley asks as I walk back in, so he was listening, little monkey

"His name is Ben" I tell him putting Ellie down on the rug next to him.

"Watch Ellie darling, I will get some breakfast" I tell him 

"Ben" I hear him say to himself which makes me smile

"Ellie we are going to the park today" I hear him tell her "To see Mummy's new friend" Ellie is just babbling away. I can see them both through the kitchen hatch. Riley get's up and puts the TV on for Ellie to watch Peppa Pig. I smile at the two of them. Riley loved his sister so much. These two were everything to me. I still cringe inside at what he had done to us, hating myself for not running away sooner. 

I make them breakfast, sitting at the coffee table to eat it with them, how I'm eating I don't know with these nerves.

"Is Ben your best friend Mummy" Riley asks taking me by surprise

"Well Mummy likes him" I say not knowing what else to say really

"Are you going to Marry him" Shit where on earth did that come from and I haven't the faintest idea what to say 

"Come on finish your breakfast or we will be late" I say trying to swerve the question. 

I get them both dressed before looking at myself in the mirror, what the hell do I wear. I need something nice but something that doesn't look like I'm trying too hard. Plus I've got to be able to run around park in it. Skinny jeans yes they slim me down, hoody, body warmer,  I sigh looking at myself, god what if he thinks I'm just a frumpy Mother 

"You look pretty Mummy" Riley tells me 

"Do I mate" I ask turning in the mirror wondering if a different angle will make it feel any better 

"Yes super pretty" he says and I look at him and smile, well surely that's the proof I need.

"Come on then you two lets get our shoes on" I say 

Ben's Point of View

The sensation of my phone vibrating in my pocket makes my heart skip a beat is it her? It is her, My hands are useless all of a sudden as I swipe my screen, please say she hasn't changed her mind 

Hi Ben, We are looking forward to seeing you too, the children are so excited See you soon x

It was such a gorgeous day, but I'm all over the place, skittish even. I so wanted to see her.  I just couldn't get her out of my head even dreaming about her last night. Where did this girl just appear from sweet, gentle certainly not a game player like her. She seemed worried once she told me she had children, afraid of what I might think I'm guessing, would it put me off. Since that day on the tube seeing her so upset I felt this urge to protect her and the thought that she had children made this even more powerful. But shit what if they didn't like me, I wasn't that bad was I, I had my godson Henry but he was grown up now, Oh for God's sake Ben just pull yourself together. They had looked so cute in the picture in her purse, I want to be in a picture in her purse. Jesus the time.  Do I look alright, Christ my hair won't do a sodding thing.  Got to go.