It Happened: NCIS

Chapter 17

Hugging Ducky reminds me of him marrying me and Tim. He did it so beautifully and in a way that represented us.

I can't tell if it's him or because it's the first morning when I haven't had a drink, but I'm feeling dizzy.

I go to my desk to sit back down. They see Jack sitting on the couch and start making small talk with him. I try to take deep breaths and to close my eyes while they're occupied. It's almost as if I can hear their every movement and know when to open my eyes because they're about to look right at me.

"Melissa, I can't tell you how happy I am that you're working again." Jimmy goes to tell me. "We really missed you."

"I missed you guys too." Jimmy and Ducky both sent me cards after the funeral. Ducky sent flowers with his, as Palmer mentioned why he thought he shouldn't have attached flowers in one of the paragraphs in the card.

They're both different, but so sweet of them.

"I have to say Mrs. McGee," Ducky's heart is in the right place, but that stung a little. "I'm surprised you aren't down there with Anthony and Miss. David."

"Me too." Jimmy says.

"Me three." Jack comes out of nowhere.

"What are you guys talking about?"

Ducky shrugs and looks at the guys instead of me. "It's just that they're working hard to get the guys that did this to you but are getting nowhere. They made progress when you were with them though."

Suddenly, my dizziness is back, and my heart start is starting to race.

"It's true." Palmer continues. "They have been working hard. We're glad to see you doing better. We just thought you would be down there with them when you got back instead of up here. Down there, it looked like you were happy."

They have an empty desk down there and I don't plan on being the next person sitting there.

I feel like I'm going to throw up.

"Melissa likes it up here, but I have to admit you get this light in your eyes every time you work out in the field." Jack picked up the lingo a little late, but at least he got it.

I can't breathe. I want to tell them to stop, but I can't get my mouth to move. It's too focused on letting oxygen in so I don't join Tim too soon. Even though, he was taken too soon.

Great now I'm doing it to myself.

It's like I can't control my arms. I grab my bag with everything in it, and thank goodness for that, and storm out of the room.

I run towards the elevator so no one can see me too long, and that's when I bump into someone.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Luckily, it's my friend. "Melissa? What's wrong?" I feel him put his hands on my shoulders as the tears start to fall.

He takes my hand and guides me to the hall at the end which only holds the janitor's closet. He lifts my chin to look at him and I can feel the tears on my face.

"Melissa, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I can't do that Tony. I can't do that." I say pointing in the direction of my office. I start to control the tears and can see him better with them out of my eyes.

I see fear in his face and he's still examining mine. "You can't do what Melissa?"

My head is pounding. "I can't get involved in this. I can't hear about it. I can't know about it. I don't want see any files about it."

He moves his hands back to my shoulders. "About what?"

"I know you and Ziva are trying to find Juice." I'm trying to catch my breath. He goes silent and just stares at me. "I think it's amazing that you guys have been working so hard. I've known about it but kept my mouth shut because I don't want to hear about it."