Chapter 1

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(Before you all go on, I want to say thank you to those who kept up with the series and made this possible for me. I love each and everyone of you. I had you enjoy this last book as we go on this journey together. I love you all. Happy Reading :) )

 Happy Reading :) )

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Tony's POV:

One week, one day, and two hours since the funeral.

I've been home since then, debating whether to call her or to go over there.

Day 1 and day 2: I thought it was too soon. I didn't think hearing people's condolences and asking how she is would make her feel any better.

Day 3: I figured she would be busy trying to forget what happened. I don't know how she could forget considering he was her husband and it happened right before her eyes. But I know that's what I would be trying to do. Hell, I've been trying it for days and it hasn't been working.

That was the day I would pick up the phone, hear the dial tone and hang up. I didn't know what to say in this situation. Especially, because Melissa kept reminding us that it happened to us too.

Day 4: I decided to say whatever came to mind when she answered the phone. Except, she didn't answer. Instead, I got their voicemail. I couldn't hang up the phone because it was their voicemail, the voicemail that I heard when I called during the wedding. I heard his voice and all I could think was that I was never going to hear it again. My body and heart stopped when I heard him. I hung up the moment it made a beep and called again. Then again, and again, and again. Then, it occurred to me that each time I called she didn't answer the phone.

My next phone call was to Ziva. I know it was selfish to call her first, because like Melissa said, it happened to us too.

"Hey, Ziva!" I try to sound okay so that she doesn't worry. "Last time something like this happened you said I could have called. Here I am calling, do you know where she is?"

She told me that Abby invited her to stay over because she thought it wasn't a good idea for her to stay home in the big house alone. She told me that she's been there ever since the incident. I realize that I would have known that if I didn't go straight to work and look up all the names of the people who could be involved with that gang and the people in their families. No one knew why I was alone in acting crazy for so long. That was until Vance got the call from Gibbs. Vance called Ducky and told him and Palmer what was going on. He told Palmer to get up there because he knew out of everyone, I was going to listen to baby Palmer. He didn't know Tim like I did but he knew him a whole lot better than Vance.

When I asked Ziva how she was doing I knew she was going to do what I was doing. Taking it. She asked me how I was, and I said, "If you're okay, then I am the same." She knew what I meant. I could tell by the way she ended up silent after I said it. Then, she told me she goes to Abby's once a day and calls at night. She doesn't stay too long because if it were her husband, she wouldn't want anyone to overstay their welcome. She told Melissa that and her response was he may have not been her husband, but he was still her family. I imagine after that she said it happened to us too.

The other days follow suit. I was asked not to be at NCIS until Gibbs calls me back. I would try to turn myself away from the phone to not call to hear his voice again. Sometimes I just can't stay away, and I would have to call. I don't remember what day it was, but I remember I threw my phone at the wall. I tried not to think that I would never hear his voice again. For some reason I pictured Melissa deleting the recording and then I would really never hear it again and that's when I threw it. I don't know why that popped into my mind. I think I just wanted to be angry.

I haven't been eating like I normally do. I can barely pick up a bottle of wine because it reminds me of him. The last time an incident like this happened I couldn't put down the bottle but for some reason now I can't seem to pick it up.

Normally, I would get dressed even if it meant I was staying home. Now I can't even get out of my pajamas or so pants. I don't find comfort in my suit because the last time I wore one it was at the funeral.

I want to be mad at Melissa. I want her to feel bad for herself not for us. I want her cursing us out. I want her to yell, specifically at me. I want her to yell at every joke I made at him because it actually hurt him. I want her to tell me I wasn't any better than him because at the end of the day he was the one to do the right thing, always. He always put us before him, and I didn't do that.

When we would praise him, he would admit he didn't deserve it and I never did that. I was the reason he put himself down. I was the reason he had no confidence. She changed all of that. She brought him back up. She gave him confidence. That's why they belonged with each other.

Reminding myself that she is the reason he saw him the way I truly saw him makes me take it easy on the accelerator. Gibbs called me and left me a voicemail. I was away from my phone not that I would have picked up if I weren't.

I still can't believe what he said to her at the hospital. I almost did something I would never do to someone I care about. That's when I knew I had to get out of there. I still feel horrible that I left, and I didn't console her like I should have. Now, here I am regretting not calling her sooner to talk to her.

I arrive at Gibbs' house as he instructed me to do so by voicemail. I take deep breaths when I walk up to his door. I stand there for a second and replay her words in my head to calm myself down "It happened to you guys too. It happened to you guys too." Gibbs is included in that. I shouldn't forget that.

I open the door, surprised to see Gibbs already standing there. I look at him and he looks the same. He doesn't look sleep deprived. He doesn't look like he's been drinking all day and all night. I already know he hasn't made ten phone calls a day to purposely be picked up by a machine. He is wearing that red hoodie with a pair of jeans like he's just lounging around.

"What?"

He gives me that classic Gibbs look. "What?"

"Yeah, what. Why am I here?" Her words have left my head. They left the moment I saw him. It's just me and him now.

He looks surprised at my attitude. "Is there a problem DiNozzo?"

My eyes go everywhere. I have no control over my arms. "Oh, no! No problem at all. Nothing Mr. Says the right thing, couldn't handle. Or should we go with say nothing at all. No that's what you should have done." Okay, my approach and come back weren't my best, but my blood is boiling right now, and no one can stop me.

"DiNozzo, basement." He turns his back to me, but I'm not done.

"You really don't know, do you?"

"Basement DiNozzo."

"I don't want to see your stupid boat. I want to yell at you!"

"Yell at me?" He turns to me as he opens the door to his basement. "Just come on."

"No. Don't think for a second that I forgot about what you said to her at the hospital."

"Basement."

"Or what you didn't say at the funeral."

"DiNozzo!" He startles me. I didn't think he would yell at me. I thought I was going to be the only one yelling.

He makes his way down the stairs. I am many behind him because I don't want to get too close to him. I don't know what's I'll do. Especially, when there's stairs involved.

I start going in on him again. I won't stop until he answers me. "Remember what you said at the hospital when-"

I'm too busy yelling at him that I miss a step going down. I know I don't knock Gibbs over because I land on pure concrete.

Also, I see his shoes when I lift my head up. Except, when I clear my vision and stare at them longer, I can tell that those aren't his shoes I'm looking at.

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