It Happened: NCIS

Chapter 4

Melissa's POV:

When I pull up to work in my jeep, it makes me feel like it's my first day all over again. I wish it were. That way I could change things and make him be right next to me right now.

But I can't.

I breathe for a moment before grabbing my things and forcing myself out of the car. I know if I didn't do it now, when would I? I jump out and close the door behind me. I'm trying not to make my deep breaths noticeable to the people around me, but it's hard when it's the one thing I want to focus on to stop the tears from coming.

They can't come now, because when I get closer to the entrance, I see that someone is waiting for me in the front of the building. It isn't who I want it to be, but how could it be? He's not here anymore.

I try to force a light smile, so he doesn't think I'm faking it too much.

"What are you doing out here?" I ask him when I get closer to him and he hands me a cup off coffee from the cart outside our place.

"Well, I figured you would need a cup of coffee today and I thought I would walk you in." Gibbs tells me with a light smile as well. "It was easy since we have the same coffee order."

This is one of the few times I've had coffee since, well, you already know.

"Thank you." I say.

We get on the elevator just the two of us and stand there in silence, until he starts to speak.

"Are you ready to be back?"

"Yeah. It's like riding a bike. Right?"

He chuckles and shakes his head. "I hope so. I heard you were doing a lot of the work at Abby's."

"What else was I going to do?"

"Relax." Easy for him to say. I don't know what relaxing is. I only found out when he entered my life, and now he's gone.

I just sip my coffee until the elevator door opens. The heat from the coffee makes me feel something in my throat and I don't fight it.

We walk to the squad room together and I forgot that his desk would still be there. His desk and his things aren't were he is. They're still here where I have to see them every day.

When we get to there, I thought I was going to have to stare at it and make peace with seeing his desk every day right this minute, until I turn, and I see Ziva sitting at her desk.

She looks up and does a double take. Her eyes widen and she gets up from her seat. "Melissa." She races around her desk to hug me. I keep my tears in check when I hug her back.

"Hey."

She moves back to take a look at me. "You look great." I'm wearing legging and a black long-sleeved shirt, and my makeup isn't done. She's just being what she thinks she has to be right now, and that's a supportive friend.

"Thank you." I tell her.

"Ziva, maybe you can take a break and walk Melissa to her office?"

"Uh, guys." I look between them, and their heads quickly turn to me. "I know I've been gone for a while, but I think I can manage to find my office. You didn't move me, did you?"

The both laugh out of pity, but I let it happen. This is all new to us. There's no right way to act during these times.

"No, we didn't move your office."

"Okay, I'll be on my way then. Thanks for the coffee." I walk away from them and take the stairs. That way I don't feel as alone as I would feel in the elevator. I was lucky that Gibbs was out there waiting for me this time. I didn't like our conversation, but at least someone was there to fill the silence for me.

I get to my office and I can't help but have a smile on my smile when I see Jack sitting on the couch with the laptop on his lap. The laptop is quickly removed when he looks up and see's me placing my bag on the desk.

"Oh my god. Hey honey." He comes to me and wraps his arms around me. It's weird hugging him. This is the first time I'm hugging someone, and I don't feel the urge to cry. Maybe it's because he didn't know Tim like the others did. I don't know, but I know I'm happy that I can feel an ounce of happiness being in here with him.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm doing better now that I see you." I look around and nothing looks different. It looks the same as the last time I was in here.

"I'm sorry I left you hanging for so long."

"Don't worry about it. I didn't have to lift a finger." I laugh because I think he's just being too kind. "No, really. The person they brought in to substitute for you didn't let me do anything. I was just in my office all day watching Netflix and reading. It was nice to get paid for that, but man I can do that shit at home." I was mistaken, he was being serious.

"Well, we can't have that go on, now can we?"

"Please don't. I'll cry if I rewatch Gilmore Girls one more time."

"You got it." I walk over to my desk and bring my laptop over to him and start to work next to him. "I can't remember the last time you sat on the couch to work."

I remember the last time I sat on the couch, but it wasn't to work. It's not something I want to talk about now.

"Yeah, it's weird." Now, let's see if working while in the building will work its magic and distract me like it did when I was at Abby's.

"It's good to have you back." He tells me.

"It's good to be back." I tell him and mean it when it comes to him. there's something about him that is making it easier being here. I don't know what it is, but I can't question it. It's the most relax I have felt ever since walking into the house yesterday. Gibbs would be proud.