We Were There

Chapter 79: Memory: Blood and Life

They're not your children. 

They're not even yours to begin with. 

These words kept repeating in his mind. And he was speechless for a moment. He faltered for a bit but he was still on his feet. When he found out that his wife had another man, his heart got broken. And then this. His heart now was pummeled into pieces. He was welcomed with misfortune after misfortune. His children were not his. He had lived his life full of lies and deception. Something in him broke. 

" Not my children? That's quite a laugh, darling!" he guffawed. He started laughing hard like what he had heard had been the best joke of his life. This had pissed me off. I didn't know if he was trying to brush it off or he did really think of it as some sort of a funny joke; that, I didn't quite figure it out yet. 

He continued laughing and snorting. And I wanted to hit him hard to snap him out of it. I was already filled up with anger at the moment that my mouth moved on its own. 

" For the love of God Winston! They aren't YOUR children!" I snapped. 

He stopped to look at me. His eyes widened at my statement. This made me believe that he DID think of it as just a laugh.

 All of a sudden, he lunched at me and grabbed my hand. He then threw me with strength towards the window. I winced on impact. I felt the windows shook. Those windows were the only barriers between me and the rocky shore below. I, then, felt his hand on my cheeks. He started pressing them hard. I could feel a surge of pain that followed after. This man, was trying to hurt me. Or perhaps even worse than that. I tried to hold back his hand away from my face but he was too powerful. His eyes were filled with rage and anger. I was about to scream for help but I realized, no one would try to come save me anyway. I was in the most isolated room of the house. No one could hear my screams. 

I just hoped that they were safe and sound. 

Untouched. 

Adam...

Alice...

Thomas...

They were my light at the moment. 

I felt his grip on my face loosen. I rubbed my cheeks from the pain, not giving a damn what he would do next. Instead, I heard a step on the wooden floor. I looked at him and watched him as he continued taking a step back; his face was empty. I couldn't read him. I couldn't guess what he would do next. He shook his head at me like he felt disgusted just by looking at me. I was a sinner. He made his way out of the room and locked the door. 

And I was left in this dark room, thinking if I did the right thing. 

But little did I know, that it would be the biggest mistake of my life. 

***

Two days have pased since that little incident. Now and then, Winston would shove newspaper clippings under the door; as if to remind me every day of what I did. I would read them but it didn't surprise me. The headlines were all about us. 

Me.

                                                       MAY 1901

                               BIG REVELATION ON THE WALTERS

                                     Children Not From Husband

                                    Josephine Walter, Mistress!?

          6 Years Has Passed, Mrs. Walter's Secret Affair Made Known

                                           Winston Walter No Say

                            Custody of Walter Children In Meeting

                                The Walters Tainted By Secrecy

 

This must be his way for getting back at me. I couldn't face society now. I deserved everything that had happened so far in my life. How many days have I been locked in here? Six? Seven? I had lost count. I hadn't seen my children for days now. I've kept on thinking about them. If Winston did something to them, I swear in God's name, I would hunt him until the depths of hell. 

I hadn't bathe for days. For everything that had happened, I needed one. I needed to soak myself in warm water and reflect on things. Winston must have locked me in here to give me time to think about my actions. This was for contemplation. 

I wanted to hear their voices. I wanted to have some sanity left. I would often cry myself to sleep. My thoughts were always about their safety. I stood up from the antique chair and started pacing. I wanted to preoccupy myself. I didn't want myself to think unwanted ideas and the like. 

I heard soft knocking from the door. This wasn't like Winston to knock. What came after was a voice that I desperately missed.

" Milady." I heard Neema's voice from the other side. 

I fell on my knees as I pressed my ear on the door; hoping to hear her voice again. " Neema! Neema, is that you?"

" Keep your voice down, Milady. Master might hear us." she whispered. Her voice sounded off. It was hoarse and low. Like she just recovered from a bad flu. Was she alright? 

I nodded; like she could see me but I did. I was happy to have heard a familiar voice. 

" Listen. I am going to unlock the door and help you get out." Again, I nodded in silence. Tears were already forming in my eyes. I was so happy. I could finally see them again. 

While I heard the sound of keys rattling from the other side, I just had to ask. " Thomas... Is he... Is he alright?" I asked with all my might. I wanted to know if he's alive or dead. I just wanted to hear an answer of certainty. 

I heard silence from the other side of the door. Like Neema paused from what she was doing. And then the sound continued. 

" Neema?"

" Yes, he's well and alive, Milady." she replied. 

I sighed in relief. It's like a very big boulder has been lifted off my shoulders. " How about the children?" I prodded quickly. I heard the door click and it swung eerily open. I quickly went out, hoping to taste freedom from the long soltitude I just had.

When all I heard was silence, I just had to ask again.

" Neema, how about the children?" I turned excitingly around to face her. It felt like ages since I've seen a familiar face. But instead, I saw a bloody Neema. 

She looked at me straight in the eyes and whispered the words: 

" That is why I need you to get out from here."