Hide and seek (editing)

42.

G W E N ' S P O V :

Last night was wonderful. But just like before. I can't stay until he wakes up.

I hate confrontation as much as rejection. That's how coward I am. I am living this way and I don't know how to change it, even for the sake of my happiness.

Thank God we didn't talk last night. We made love more than once until we both feel exhausted and spent, and the talking was gone by the wind.

I am so damn exhausted and I felt my muscles are aching, because of the wonderful exercise that we did. And the pain in between my thighs because of the invader last night.

Before I leave his room, I saw a semi open door. I thought its just a closet. Out of curiosity I take a peek from it. It's a small room with lots of white cloth covering every frames and a canvass stand, paints, brushes and other art material scattered everywhere.

But before I could go inside of it, I heard Austin groaned as if he's going to wake up. So I walked out of the room as fast as I could. Then I saw one of their drivers and asked him to send me home.

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❤️mylove❤️:
Why d hell did u leaved?

That's the text I received from him this morning after I've gone home. But I didn't respond.

I take a rest for a bit, took a shower and go to school. Good thing that there's no practice this afternoon, because tomorrow is the big game. And they just want us to relax.

I avoided Austin all day. I persuaded Emily and Dave to eat outside so as not to see him. I also ditch my math class so I wont collide with him. I even turn off my phone so as to avoid things to happened.

I let Ronald drive me home. And I felt guilty because of what I did last night.

But when I went home, Austin is already there sitting in our rattan chair in the terrace outside.

"Why is Austin here?" Ronald asked.

"I don't know!" I was rattled. I don't know what to answer. "Maybe he's waiting for my dad. Uhmm - thank you for the ride. And drive safely."

He just nodded but still confused. Then I go out of his car and wave him goodbye.

"You still entertain him, after what we did last night." He asked as soon as I get to the terrace.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as if I didn't hear what he just said.

"Waiting for you!" He smirked

"And why?"

"Let's talk?!"

"What for?!"

"To clear things up."

This is the situation I hate the most that I have to face eventually. Confrontation. Talking.

"You use condom last night, right? So what's the talking all about?" I asked

"Are you saying that sex doesn't mean anything to you?" He exclaimed

"Lower your voice, please! My grandma might hear us." Then I sighed "If it doesn't matter to you, why would it matters to me?"

"But it does!" He whispered

"Oh really? C'mon! You've had sex with plenty of girls before. What makes this different?" I asks challenging him to answer.

"Because you're different. And our parents still thought that we're still together." Is that really a reason?

"So our parents is the reason?" I shook my head and sit down. "I'll tell my parents when they get home that we're through. You should tell yours too."

"We don't have too. We'll just continue what we have!" He replied unbothered.

He's out of his mind! I think!

"What do we really have, Austin?" I asked "Do we have something? Oh-" I then smirked "we have had good sex"

"Where the hell it came from?" He asked in confusion.

"Do you expect me to run after you and we'll go back together just because we had sex?" I yelled! He just looked at me with irritation and disappointment, and didn't say anything. "Did you expect that everything will be alright, just because we've had sex last night, after dumping me two weeks ago?" I continue.

"I liked you Gwen." he said out of no where, in a very small and insecure voice.

It startled me, and remained silent for a minute or two. But he can't make me believe that he likes me after the pain that he gave me this fast week. How can I?

"And you expect me to believe that?" I asked

"Yes! Cause I really do."

"You do? Oh com'on Austin! You like me cause you can manipulate me in bed."

"Why don't you believe me?!" He said in frustration. Fake frustration!

"Why should I? You dumped me for no particular reason!"

"And you come running to Ronald as soon as we're through." He said in accusation and disappointment.

I glare at him. He does not deserve my explanation. Just as much as he didn't give me a clear reason for breaking up with me.

"Please leave! I just want to rest!" I said, and stand up.

"Wait!" he hold my wrist just before I could walk away. "Come to me if you'll ever change your mind and I promise you that I'll never let you go ever again." he said.

Then I removed his hand from my wrist and walk inside our house not even looking back at him, and go up to my room.

I lay down as soon as I get inside my room. Close my eyes and feel the tiredness that I've had for the last two weeks. The heart aches. And the mixed signal he's giving me. His inconsistency and everything that he has given me. How can I believe his last words? My body and mind is exhausted, so as my heart is so damn tired.

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xoxo 💋